Willful & Passionate

(edited)

I am introspective. I take time to reflect on my actions and I learn from them. I tend to think back on how I handled situations and filter them. It’s not fun learning that I handled things badly but it’s always good to learn something new.

Of course, there are days when I’m on my best behaviour and still, there is always something to learn. The process is never ending and I keep trying to figure out what I could have done better.

I’ve been under a lot of stress lately. Mental and emotional. Things aren’t going so great for me and I have a very good way of hiding my emotions. I come across as insensitive and offensive because I may not react the way people expect me to. I don’t know how to put up an act. If I don’t like you or something you do, you’ll immediately know it.


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I don’t bother with explanations either. Take it how you please, or don’t. None of my business. Where I’m getting at is, this attitude of mine is a strength. In fact, it’s one of my strongest traits, yet it is also a weak part of me. The truth is, I and my mom share this trait and why we barely have any friends. We call bullshit when we see it and most people can’t take it.

This, however, is a double edged sword because mom and I tend to bicker too and that’s when it becomes survival of the fittest. One thing my mom has done for me is give me freedom. She allowed me make choices and she lets me speak my mind.

Many people in Nigeria believe that letting a child say what’s on their mind inevitably leads to disrespect but that’s not how it has played out with us. I love and respect my mom. I honour her. And she allows me air my views and not try to shut me up with the “I am your mother” notion and have me swallow my words. Why? She understands I’m human and I need to be heard. She doesn’t shoot down my opinions like I have watched many parents do with their kids. She genuinely listens to me.

However, being that we are both strong willed people, we tend to be very blunt too and our words can hurt. I and my mom have disagreements and I always remain on my best behaviour because she is my mom. But we are so strong willed and passionate that sometimes we let the fire blaze everything down before we realise it.


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And this is also why she and I are the closest. After God, is my Mom. And it will forever remain that way. If there is someone I would die for, it is she. That woman has my back like no other.

In a nutshell, a trait that I and my mom share (because she’s the only family I recognize before my close cousins) is our Will. We are both stubborn. Very stubborn and strong headed. We are passionate and very tenacious. This means we don’t bow even if it costs us something.

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8 comments

You know one thing I love about you is how you cherish your mom a lot and it's amazing when you have a great mom.

You being you is fantastic and honestly, you don't owe people an apology for being yourself.

Growing up, I know people who thought that my mom giving me freedom at a young age was a terrible thing until they protected and pampered kids turned out worse. The freedom you had then did a lot for you and that's why you are a strong woman today...

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Yes. Thank you so much George. My mom giving me freedom was never to spoil me but for me to learn to make decisions myself at an early age. This I would find actually instilled a sense of responsibility in me.

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Sometimes, when one is stubborn, make sure it's for a good cause. I love how, even though you are stubborn, are tenacious and passionate. Your mom is a nice woman who shows a great quality of how supporting her child is important. A mother mustn't shut her child up especially her daughter. She must be allowed to air her opinion and not be stopped.

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Indeed. Being stubborn can be a double edged sword. We must know to wield it wisely. And my mom is the best gift I have from God

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Reading and nodding my head relating to the attacking force between you and your mom when a term is finding hard to be agreed on.
This thing happen between me and my dad...used to be before though. Now, I no longer stress him, maybe it's because we don't see often to drag on decisions 😅

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Yeah. I and my mom tend to have a lot of disagreements. But not as much as in the past as you said. I’m smarter now and know when to back off from an argument.

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Haz analizado bastante a tu mamá, también hago lo mismo a veces y me doy cuenta de qué todos compartimos ciertos rasgos de nuestros padres

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De hecho, lo hacemos.

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Thank you 🙏🏾

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I don't think you are insensitive and offensive; people just see things the way they want to see them.

I hope you find time to rest and rejuvenate from all the stress you have been going through.

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Indeed. People see things they way they want to see them. Thank you

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Welcome 🤗

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I can relate to insensitivity trait. It doesn't mean that we are unable to feel. We develop rhis trait as a coping mechanism. It is to shield us from the wrath of emtions we face due to our surroundings. However, after being insensitive for a long time, I have realized where it makes us strong appearnatly it has its consequences on our emotional well being. A better approach to navigate in the world is to be compassionate and forgiving.

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Hey Amber. It’s been quite a while. Yes, I realised this as I grew older and I think I had to work on my forgiveness. I don’t remember most things when they happen to hurt me but it seems I tend to reflect on how it made me feel. So yeah, being insensitive may be seen as a negative trait, but as you said, it is a coping mechanism

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It’s been quite a while

Yeah. Long time. Hehe.

but as you said, it is a coping mechanism

Yeah, It is a coping mechanism but not a healthier one. For a short time, there is no harm but if it continues for a long time it has negative consequences on our emotional well-being

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