Red Moments.

For some reason when I am asked questions like these I come up blank. I do not seem to remember the answer until the heat of the moment. As for now, I can not remember anything unless it has to do with irresponsible landlords and the current state of the country –which seems to piss me off daily.

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Now, I really ask myself. What does it take to piss me off? Unless I misunderstand what anger is, or I am completely blind to it, I have not felt it for a while (except for those times in the past). Oh wait. I do get angry during that time of the month, but does that count? I am always irritated and annoyed by the slightest thing. I can remember that I have gotten genuinely angry only a handful of times.

One was in regards to friends of mine. How can I forget? It seemed like anything pertaining to them was especially triggering for me. Once they got upset, I got upset and when I got upset, I behaved irrationally. That of course, I have learned to curb. Get my emotions in check so as not to burn bridges I worked so hard to build. I am protective in nature but I also learned that I have to protect myself too – you can never be too careful. The second was when some unfortunate baboons were disrespectful towards the woman who gave me life – the one to me who sits on a throne in my heart after God. I couldn’t take it and let us say it got nasty and bloody. This was years ago of course.

I can also remember that someone I used to work for treated her employees with very little respect. This particular act of hers requesting my service and then waiting till I had spent time and money to make myself present to change her mind and go with something else in the end was the last straw for me. I also have zero patience for pompous assholes. I do not know how to kiss ass, and when I do it I end up feeling like a shitty person. What I do is extract myself from any situation that requires me to be who I am not. So, I threw them all in the waste bin. I am also a human being worth every time I give to you as a human being. You want to be treated well, treat others well.

One other thing that pissed me off I can remember was being treated like a child. I am not perfect. I have flaws but I am human and I learn from mistakes. The moment you treat me like I'm an imbecile, you are relegated to the compartment in my mind that is labeled “TRASH”. There is a difference between correcting in love and making someone feel like they are a failure. I have only let three people treat me like this in my lifetime and I never gave them that leeway again. I would rather slice my right arm off.

Oh and of course, the whole opinions of the world towards what a man and woman should be and how they should act. A lot of hypocrisy on social media from egotistical men and ignorant women. I avoid every talk of ‘relationships’, any form of threads or post that has to do remotely with this. It always strikes a nerve.

I guess these are things that piss me off, or things I remember that have really pissed me off. These are the times I have really seen red and lost all rational thoughts. I become a different person in a fit of anger and why I try my best to not get angry. The moment I realise that an environment or person keeps testing me, I vacate. It is as simple as that.