My Choice is NOT to FALL OUT.

Honestly, I cannot imagine falling out of love with my husband. I know there are trying times and it would take more than love to sustain a marriage, but falling out of love? That won’t happen.

You might be wondering, or even saying to yourself, “you never marry na why you dey talk”. Fact. I’m not married yet, but I know people who have been married for years. People who have experienced the highs and lows in their marriage and worked through it. Although, my confidence doesn’t come from what I have learned from them but what I have learned about my spouse-to-be and the life we have decided to build together.

Charity begins at home, they say. What you start now becomes a habit and then a lifestyle. We have moments of disagreements. We have periods of misunderstandings. However, because we have decided what matters to us, these moments don’t last long. In fact, sometimes, I see disagreements coming from a mile away and I always take the other way.

I’m not trying to downplay the gravity of situations like stress, pregnancy, hormones or all that stuff that comes with humans. No, what I’m saying is marrying right is how to make sure we don’t end up in situations where we want to quit it. When you buy a house and the paint starts peeling, do you discard it? Not at all. You repaint it. It is possible to reignite the fire. But that can only happen if you marry right.

There was a video I watched that talked about marriage. It shared ideas I already agreed with which is first and foremost, Love is not a feeling. It is a choice. Hence, you can’t “fall out of it”. When you marry right (emphasis on this point - marry right) the both of you know what is important. The things that matter take priority in your lives especially when you both have your goals aligned to fit your purpose. When the troubles come, you remember your vows:

…for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.

The thing is, this generation has been conditioned for transactional relationships. So much so that it now reflects in the life of the married. I don’t want to get deep into that but, I don’t see myself falling “out of love” with my partner. It is impossible to me. I know my strengths and my weaknesses, those I fail to recognise, is the reason my partner is there. Same with me. I see his deficiencies and funny how we are strong where the other is weak. We compliment each other.

In conclusion, if it so happens you find yourself in such a situation, reignite the fire. Honestly, I have no idea how you’d do that but running away from the problem is not always the solution.