A problem shared...

"A problem shared... is a problem solved ". So I've heard for as long as I can remember.

Life is full of ups and downs, struggles and fumbles and tumbles and stumbles. What you wish for wouldn't just be presented to you on a platter of gold. Nahh, it doesn't work that way. You can only get it after a series of efforts, trials, sweats, disappointments, risks, frustration, anxiety, sadness. There's no doubt that the list goes on.

As humans, deciding to shoulder all these alone would definitely lead to a complete breakdown. We can only but reach out to our fellow human beings because at such point, all we desire is a shoulder to both cry and lean on, some encouragement and soothing words to boost our morale and keep us going. Better still, an extra hand in achieving the task at hand. After all, two heads they say, are better than one.

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But when one's problems and challenges are shared with the wrong set of people, it is far from solved. It rather becomes a problem spread.

Qing Madi, a Nigerian artist in her song "See finish" did say that a problem shared turns to gossip. And that was the case with a friend of mine.

At a tender age, Timi's family went down the drain. His dad was a motorcyclist and the mum..... a certified housewife. All responsibility of the family falls on the dad's shoulder, who hustled day in day out trying to make ends meet. Despite the meagre amount he made on daily basis, he still managed to provide three square meals and other basic needs for the family.

However, the mum woke up one fateful day and decided that she wasn't going to continue living as a poor man's wife. Before anyone could say a word, she had packed her bags and left. It felt like a joke as Timi and his dad waved it off saying she was going to return in the evening. But after a week, they didn't sight her shadow and that was when reality dawned on them. She left indeed. She gave up on her family, her husband, her son.

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Soon after, the dad started drinking himself to stupor leaving little Timi on his own with a runaway mum and a bodily present dad. When he went to school, his friends asked what the matter was and he shared all that had happened with them.

These so called friends of his burst out laughing when he finished. He looked around for the source of amusement but found none. Instead, they were both staring at him. Then one said, " all these while we've been friends with the son of an ordinary motorcyclist who just upgraded to a drunkard". They kept making jest of him to the hearing of every student around. Tears welled up in his eyes and started falling uncontrollably.

But it didn't end there, they went ahead to compose a mocking song about his family's situation. With tears flooding his eyes, he quickly grabbed his bag and ran out of the school. And never went back. He felt betrayed , utterly hopeless and shattered.

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Till date, he still battles with trust issues. This made me realise the importance of relating with the right circle of friends who will be there to pop champagne and also soak the pillow with you.
So don't carry your burden alone nor share it with any dick and harry that shines their 32 with you.

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