Young couples:why too much of divorce nowadays?

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Young couples:why too much of divorce nowadays?

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Nowadays I see too many young couples split up. It makes me sad. God created marriage, and divorce tears apart something sacred. What causes so many marriages to fail early on? I think a big reason is that husbands and wives don't show each other respect and love like they committed to on their wedding day.

The Bible gives clear rules for marriage. It says wives should yield to their husbands' leadership with humility and trust. This doesn't mean husbands can be cruel bosses! But God made men to lovingly guide and provide for their families. When wives try to take over instead of respecting their husbands' roles - or when husbands demand their own way without care for their wives - this breeds conflict.

Husbands also must understand that yielding doesn't come naturally to most women. So we need tons of patience! Paul told men to love their wives like Christ loves the church. Jesus lovingly gave His life for us. This is the sacrificial love husbands need to show. When a wife feels cherished in this selfless way, following her husband's lead gets much easier. She trusts his care for her good.

But both sides need to do their part. A wife who keeps challenging her husband's decisions, trying to override him with demands of her own, may stir up his sinful pride. He might seek control rather than seeking her best interests. And the less he yields to understanding his wife's feelings and ideas, the more she resists submitting to him. It cycles downhill really fast.

Here is the key - dying to self interests and living for the other. If both spouses use Jesus as their role model, marriage flows beautifully. When discord threatens, the first question should be, "How can I meet my spouse's needs instead of demanding my rights?" Rather than judging faults in each other, we need God's grace to see our own weaknesses clearly. Pride must die over and over so love and respect can live.

This goes against our selfish nature. That's why staying close to God through prayer and Bible reading is so essential, especially when tensions rise. The Holy Spirit empowers husbands and wives to outdo one another in serving, forgiving, comforting and honoring. When both live under Christ's leadership, wives gain confidence to submit willingly and husbands sacrificially devote themselves to caring for the wives they cherish. May God make it so!
Living in a Christ-centered marriage is much easier said than done. When my selfishness flares or my spouse says something hurtful, submitting and sacrificing for them can feel impossible! My natural reaction is to defend myself, fight back, demand apologies. I've found these ignorant reactions only breed more conflict.

So what practical steps help me move from pride to humility? First, I try to stop and pray, even briefly, inviting God to adjust my attitude. Stilling my inner turmoil to listen for the Spirit's voice makes space for grace to flow in. I confess how I've fallen short in thought or deed. As I get honest before God about my own junk, I'm opened up to see past my mate's flaws too, realizing we both need mercy.

Then I make a conscious choice: Am I going to act on my ruffled emotions, or believe the best about my spouse and overlook the offense? Do I want to understand where they are coming from, or assume the worst motives? The Bible says love keeps no record of wrongs. With the Spirit's help I release my right to pay back, blame, bring up the past. I purpose to start fresh, offering the forgiveness I long for too.

When I feel too upset to speak without accusing, it's wise to step away until I calm down. But coming back to discuss matters respectfully and lovingly as soon as possible clears the air. I try to lead with affirmations, express feelings humbly, own my part and listen without defensiveness. Focusing on how we can move forward together keeps it solution oriented. With an apology hug, most arguments end in reconciled unity.

It remains hard work to make space for my spouse when I'm feeling unloved or disrespected. But their needs still matter enormously to God, so I keep striving to see them through His eyes. As both of us bring our marriages under Christ's loving lordship, pride gets replaced with grace, frustration with understanding and selfishness with a passion to lift each other up.

Thank you for reading my post

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