My Speaking Habits: A Journey to More Thoughtful Communication

Communication is so central to human connection, yet the old adage rings true easier said than done. I’m naturally quite straightforward and blunt in how I speak, which has led to miscommunications and unintentionally hurt feelings over the years. I tend to just say whatever pops into my head without filtering much. And I’m also pretty liberal with laughing or poking fun at people’s word choices if something strikes me as funny or odd in the moment.

source

A close friend had sat me down to have a heart-to-heart about my speaking tendencies. While she understands I never mean ill intent, she pointed out that my unfiltered reactions and blunt way of talking sometimes come across as callous or dismissive, even if that’s not my goal. She could see it putting strain on some of my relationships and suggested I work on being more conscious of how I communicate not just what I’m saying, but how I’m saying it.

Her feedback really stopped me in my tracks. I did some genuine soul searching and realized my speech patterns had become thoughtless knee-jerk reactions rather than mindful, compassionate exchanges. I wanted to change that. So I’m challenging myself to three major changes: thinking through responses before blurting them out, ditching thelaugh track over other people’s words, and speaking genuinely but sensitively.

It’s only been a couple weeks, but breaking old habits is hard.My instincts still veer towards shooting off an uncensored quip or poking fun at an unusual phrase. But I’m training myself to pause, take a breath, and carefully consider my words before verbalizing them. My new mantras are “Does this need to be said?” and "Is this the kindest way I could frame this?" Simple tweaks, but powerfully impactful.

I'm also catching myself when the urge strikes to chuckle at something odd or unique someone says. I never intend to embarrass or shame them when I laugh at their wording. But I now realize that my spontaneous burst of giggles can inadvertently send that message or make them feel insecure sharing thoughts freely with me. Words hold power, no matter how innocently we wield them. So I’m making a concerted effort to simply listen rather than critique or judge as I hear people.

source

Finally, I’m working on speaking from a thoughtful, caring place even when I have critical feedback or a dissenting viewpoint to share. I can still express myself genuinely while considering the feelings and perspective of who I'm talking to. It’s a balance for sure, but one that deepens mutual understanding.

I am grateful to this wonderful friend of mine Mercy" as she did her best to advice me and yes we are still on speaking terms though distance is between us now, that doesn't stop our friendship, because she is indeed a good and great lesson and only wants me to be on my best behavior.

Will I handle every conversation flawlessly moving forward? Absolutely not, But thanks to my friend's insight, I have a renewed motivation to evolve for the better. My tongue holds incredible power ,both to do harm or to encourage good. I want to be someone who speaks in a way that lifts spirits, not oppresses them. This journey to kinder, more thoughtful verbal communication will have its challenges, but I think the effort will be well worth it.

_{This is my entry to the hive learners prompt for week 97 edition 3}