Royalty and I

I was catching up on my backlog of posts to read and comment on, and came across Liar Liar pants on Fire: the Inkwell Challenge! from the amazingly and talented natural born liar @dreemsteem Who knew huh!!!

In particular, I refer you back to this line

For my entry this week, let's delve into my travel in the last 24 hours where I felt like I was royalty!!!

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This prompt as far as I am concerned is right up my street.

I was brought up looking at a pewter mug that sat centre stage on the mantlepiece. It was the All Ireland Nurdling Championship which my father had won three years in a row.

Nurdling is an artform, and is being able to tell a lie and make it sound like a story or tell a story and make it sound like a lie!

Whilst reading the entry from Dreemie I read the word royalty... Job done, I have had so many royalty encounters I could do this post a few times over.

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Young man you cut your finger!

We grew up in Belfast in Northern Ireland, but moved to Scotland during The Troubles. I believe that we are a product of where we grew up. I grew in the Protestant Royalist part of Belfast.

We moved from Belfast to Edinburgh and to celebrate a special birthday of the school, The Queen was coming to visit.

I was ten, and lucky enough to be in a class that Her Majesty would visit. It was a craft class, and I was making a glider plane out of balsa wood.

On the day of her visit, I managed to use my craft knife to slice a piece of balsa wood to make a beautifully smooth wing.

"Five minutes until The Queen steps in the classroom boys!" said our teacher Mr Benson.

Lots of men in suits came into the class, before it suddenly got quiet and in came this lady wearing a blue hat and blue gloves.

Round the classroom she went until she stopped at my desk.

Little Edward was proud as punch, but hid his left hand behind his back. Whilst I cut the wood I also managed to slice the top of my thumb, a scar which I still have. This happened with no time to get it sorted. I was a boarder so matron always made sure we had a handkerchief in our pocket, and I used that to wrap around my thumb.

The Queen was interested in the plane and said did I paint the wood before I assembled the plane. I said no and she pointed to the red wing.

"Oh fluff!" thought I!

She knew something had happened and said something to my teacher quietly. The moment passed and I was then sent packing by the teacher to get my thumb sorted!

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Two Pina Coladas and a packet of crisps please!

Being from the part of Belfast I was we supported Glasgow Rangers football team who support the monarchy, and consider themselves British.

Back in the day I was a massive football goer, and would often fly back from wherever I was to watch the games. At the time Rangers were massive and bigger than most Englsh teams, we even had half the English national team playing for us. We were one of the 8 original members of The Champions League andour club is one of those 8 stars, we are footballing Royalty!

One weekend after a game against St Johnstone, I was in a hotel in Glasgow, The Holiday Inn in the centre, I had taken my niece to the match for her birthday present, and was staying there for the weekend with Mrs T and some friends.

A friend came bursting up into the room.

"Ed, Gazza is in the bar, come on man!"

No way. Paul Gascoigne was a God of a player and it was rumoured this was his last match!

Down I went, and took my niece, he was sat there with his mate Jimmy 5 Bellies! Yes the name was appropriate.

I asked the bar waitress if my niece was allowed in as she was only 10. She asked Gazza and they said yes, then Gazza called her over.

Pet he called, being a Geordie this is a typical affectionate name for a kid. He was drinking these blue cocktails and smoking!

He wrote her a little poem as an autograph and took her boa that she wore and put it around both of them and took pictures.

Of course, the ass in me asked if this was his last game. He didn't answer. We won 2-1, but lost next week as he was transferred and indeed that was his last game for The Famous Glasgow Rangers.

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Some olives with your sherry Sir?

I have lived and/or worked in four separate regions of Spain.

One town I spent two years working in was El Puerto de Santa Maria. I lived at Calle Larga 5, the long street in a massive old house, it had 9 bedrooms, and a huge fresco in the main dining room off the courtyard.

El Puerto is close to Jerez de la Frontera and this is Sherry country.

In fact the word sherry came from Jerez being bastardized. The trade between this part of Spain and the UK was huge.

Two of the biggest producers were called Osborne and Terry (not very Spanish sounding names were they!).

So the estate agent was showing us round the house. There seemed to be no houses to rent, once she knew the company was paying, she kept showing us this one. The first Mrs T fell in love with it.

We moved in, and we looking at all the pictures on the grand piano. There he was, Don Tomas Terry with King Juan Carlos. Spanish Royalty meeting Sherry Royalty.

Down in that part of Spain, they called the sherry families sherry royalty, and we were to meet one.

A few days later, Don Tomas came to visit us, ostensibly to tell us about all the parts of the house and the history. The house and gardens were next to one of his bodegas, or sherry warehouses where it is kept.

He even showed us inside one and let us sample his brandy and fino sherry!

He really was a charming rascal, and if I turn out like him I will be impressed!

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This post was my entry for @theinkwell's The Ink Well Creative Nonfiction Writing Prompt #14: Two Truths and a Lie for this week! hehehe come on down and join in the fun🤣

Was I busted? Did you catch the lie?

Thanks for visiting and enjoy the rest of your day!

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The lead image was created by me from my prompt in dreamlike.art. and ramblings are from me, the mad Scotsman TengoLoTodo and pictures taken with my Smartphone.
@tengolotodo January 18th 2023

DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND DO IT OFTEN

Haste Ye Back!



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(Edited)

Hello @tengolotodo,
Nurdling. What a delightful concept. It is reminiscent (though not identical to) the tradition of tall tales theat grew up in the American frontier. This is indeed an art form and you seem to have perfected it. Although, a guess would be the story about the queen detecting a bloody wing seems to be the most improbable. No way to tell though, because your narration is so skillful.

Each one of your three stories is colorful and entertaining. Thank you for joining in this week's creative nonfiction prompt. It was fun to read your interpretation.

Thank you also, for engaging with other authors in the community.

**An important note: We don't accept cross posts in the Inkwell, but this does not seem to be cross posted from another community so we let it pass. Please in the future, no cross posting. Thank you!

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Hello @tengolotodo,

I loved your piece. It so happens I visited El Puerto de Santa Maria and Jerez de la Frontera many years ago, when I was 19 (many, many years ago). I don't know about meeting Don Tomas, but I did sample sherry and bought a bottle that had a name that began with 'Tres...'. I don't remember more than that about the sherry, but it was a memorable trip.

You do know how to tell a story. Whichever tale is not true, I enjoyed all of them.

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I caught the lie. Unless I've forgotten all the stories you've told me or I have mixed it up. I think I caught the lie... Unless... Eddie. Hehehe.

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I wonder, all three scenarios are correct, it is the detail in one of the stories that makes it a lie hehe I don't know if we are meant to say or not!

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yeah. That is what I am saying... Ya gonna tell me in the DMs!

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Hi @tengolotodo, the prompt post actually includes the request that everyone share which one was the lie at the end of the post. 😀

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three legs?! 😏
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hehe thank you mad brother, I wondered if someone would notice 🤣
I did not have time to play with the prompt as there was a deadline!

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It is amazing how you were able to carve a beautiful imaginative story centred around royalty.

I enjoyed the story.
Pop in from dreamport

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I had to read twice and it was difficult picking the lie because you described every story perfectly.

The queen story looks like the lie but my observation reading related stories is that most people don't put the lie first and it might be the same as well.

You are good supporter of Rangers, I have seen you cheer them in one or two articles before so that's possible but the last one, working in Spain and the apartment story seems to be the interview.

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Well, well, Super Ed!
Happy Friday!

The first story is true about the thumb. But as far as you told me in the past, the teacher had given you a scolding, and not that she got sorted your thumb nicely, hehe
In the second story, were the Pina Coladas blue, Super Ed? LOL
In the third one, maybe you lie about Don Tomas visit, hehe
As you see, I'm only speculating a bit, Super Ed. Haha!
A curious cat would like to know what the lie is 😂😂

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I don't understand that picture sireeee... lmao 😂😂.... why's there three legs eh?.... that's the lie! The picture was fluffing photoshopped. You always have this great sense of humor in writing stories so I can't easily pick a lie but I guess is the queens visit!

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