The Opportunity To Struggle
We all have varied experiences based on our life paths. So is hard to put ourselves in another person's shoes. However, when we do, looking from the outside, we always presume that we would have done better than them.
To an underprivileged child, growing up in a privileged family will be life changing, all the chances of a better life will be fully appreciated and make best use of. It might not be the case for a privileged kid.
I'm not saying one has it easy over the other. Based on personal experience, I've been on both sides of the table and things are not that simple as it seems to be. But, a case can be made against the privileged kid as a strong character can only be built in a tough environment just like how a diamond is crafted under high pressure.
Unlike the underprivileged kid, the privileged kid doesn't normally have the opportunity to struggle.
Having It Easy Builds No Structure
My grandmother always warned my parents to stop treating us like toddlers, that we should be left on our own as soon as lawfully possible to create our own paths. But my parents wouldn't listen, for them, life begins at 21 and there was no way they're going to remove the pulse of control before that time.
Fortunately or unfortunately(depending on where you're looking from), something happened along the way and that pulse became broken, a divorce happened. The control was lost in the process and we were able to create our own paths. What first struck me was how easy we had it. It was like peeling off a layer of onion discovering a new layer about reality, this layer that our parents supposedly wanted to shield us from.
Having It easy builds no structure in a sense that there's no solid thing to hold on to when walking the Earth. It comes as a rude awakening when you realise that reality doesn't easily bent to your will like you've been taught before.
Having structure allows one to be on their own, create their own path, independently solve their own problems, develop skills and all related qualities.
Tough Love Is Strong Love
Traditionally, the mother doesn't give tough love, it's not usually in her nature. It's usually the father that does that. Ever since reading the book titled The Boy Crisis, I've learnt that there has been a shortage of tough love(the father is always not in the picture) and boys are gradually forgetting how to become tough.
Much of what was said in the book was relatable to me because I had a similar experience growing up. So the realisations from reading the book were quite profound. For me, I took a different perspective towards it, going above and beyond, to the Universal Father. One doesn't need to believe in the Divine to know that the universe works in mysterious ways and nothing rarely happens by mere coincidence.
One also does need a sixth sense to know that every crisis is an opportunity and that the tougher the experience, the stronger the character.
In Conclusion
In a word of half truths, the opportunity to struggle can seem a bit paradoxical. In essence, what is means is that tough times mask an opportunity to break limits and give birth to something new.
Perhaps, this is what the elders know that's why they try making our lives tough. Besides, from a figurative perspective, how can we appreciate heaven when we don't experience what hell really feels like?
Thanks for reading!! Share your thoughts below on the comments.
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Tough times creates tough people. I never even experience soft of tough love, my family was a bit dysfunctional, but I learned to depend, survive and thrive on my own, it was either that or nothing.
Indeed. A similar thing here too. At least mine was short lived lol. I'm beginning to get used to it now, that there are only two options, learn to swim and thrive or sink down and be forgotten.
This is a relatable article, I was fortunate to have my parents till 25 before my dad passed away and mom later, the shielding love was all there but reality set in when dad was no more and when left the family for South Africa, there were days that I went through hell and that molded me to br resilient. I do think I am the type that will shield my kid(s) alot, I hope I get a strict wife.
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Glad you could relate to it.
It could be tough out there, my parents are around but I don't see them often, I've stop feeding into that umbilical cord mentality.
Lol, it could turn out to be good for them. My mum is never lenient with us, the rope was always tight around our necks. And I can see the good in it.
Nice and thoughtful as always. The idea of tough love isn't welcomed when you are receiving it but it has proven to be instrumental in giving us thick skin and making us toughened.
There is a statement about how hard time makes tough men and tough men creates easy times. It's a circular flow.
Some people who are born into a family of conglomerates do not always have the opportunity to hustle for money. They already have it all. Meanwhile, anyone born into a struggling home would surely have to break sweat to have a taste of success.
I don't think it even crossed our mind lol. All we want is for it to end right there. I think having a thick skin is really needed to thrive in the world.
I've heard the statement and I can't repeat enough how true it is. Weak men on the other hand are made during easy times.
I think there's the maturity that comes with having to hustle for money that those born in a wealthy family tend to miss. That part seems to be underdeveloped.
You are on point. These things are highly paradoxical.
It's just interesting to get to notice how each of them plays out in our daily life.
Right. That's what makes it interesting, it could go either way. And the decision is mostly on us.
One wouldn't exactly have a blissful life if they don't go through tough times. Being able to go through and successful overcome tough times is what makes a person strong.
I think that's how it should go. For me, being able to successfully overcome it was important but I didn't know how to do it.
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Being able to navigate life by a child depends on his or her ability to make difficult choices, it is hard to tell but this I know being underprivileged gives a broader perspective of what surviving and life entails, the struggle might be stressful but along the line it bring strength to the mind. How can a man who has never experienced crisis know the value of peace, I'm not saying the underprivileged have the brightest minds but based on the traumatic stress they have been through over the years, in times of need they have this inner urge and instinct to come up with best solutions.
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Great perspective on the topic.
I think if we remove the natural abilities from both privileged and underprivileged, we will discover that the latter has some of the best qualities based on the development they experienced. However, like you outlined above, there's a cost to it which is the inability to be and just let things happen, they have to be in control, at all times.
Thanks for stopping by from #dreemport :)