Unspoken Love: A Journey through Crushes, Courage, and Heartbreak

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While growing up, I have crushed on so many ladies, and many were just for a few moments, while some, if I am to think about it, would say I was in love. The notable time when I fell in love was when I was a teenager, and I got to really like this particular girl who was a class higher than me.

I am the kind of person who, when I fall in love, stands strong for it, and it gets quite difficult for me to move on. I really liked this girl for a long time, even when it seemed she did not feel the same way I had felt for her back then.

I was just a boy in secondary school, and I didn't have numerous friends aside from the few male friends in my class. I was popular in the school because of my intelligence, and truly, I didn't take school seriously but always made it to the top of some subjects. So people know me quite well, and somehow, I got to meet this senior of mine who was in SS1, class 11. I found her attractive; we became friends, and we were like best friends.

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The Confession Time

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Because of how close I was to her, it gave the impression that we were dating. Even my friends in my class were already asking me if she was my girlfriend: "How I wish." So I thought of it: I should gather the courage to ask her out and make things official. It was very difficult to do so, as I don't want things to get complicated between us or something to happen to our friendship.

It took some time to do so, and I was not brave enough to even ask her to be my girlfriend physically; I had to send her the message on 2go. Yes, it was during the 2go era before the era of WhatsApp.

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The Wait

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After asking her out, it took time to get a reply from her. I was so scared and was anticipating her reply. I seriously can't remember the reply she gave, but what she said was that she is not ready to be in a relationship and that I would have to wait until she is done with school before anything can happen between us.

I was okay with it, but when I told some of my friends about it, What they told me was that she said, just to lay me off, that her answer was no, and she didn't know the best way to tell me without hurting my feelings. I didn't listen to them and went on with my life, waiting till I finished secondary school before I would ask her again.

During my secondary school days, I served as the class captain until I became the headboy. I was quite popular and knew many girls that liked me and wrote secret letters; some sent their friends to tell me about their intentions, and some showed it glaringly with their actions and gestures, but I didn't pay any attention. I had my heart focused on my friend and had chosen to wait for her. My friends really made jokes about me because of it, but this little boy was in love.

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The Heart Break

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Fast forward to after I finished secondary school. I ended up losing contact with her as she changed schools. During my time in the polytechnic after a few years, I was able to reconnect with her, and we planned to meet up, but unfortunately, before I got to see her again, to talk to her one more time, to see how much she had grown, she died.

My heart melted, and I cried like a baby. I moved on and hope she makes it to heaven.