The Death of Community

If you've done the rounds in the Mental Health system like I have then you'll have noticed that the world isn't what it used to be. That isn't a bad thing per se because change is to always be expected when progress is made. If there is radical progression in humanity then usually the positives outweigh the negatives.

I'd like to think that humanity is tilted towards good. I mean if it wasn't, there would be two clear separate classes. Those that have, and those that have not. But generally most of us have these days, rather than have not. Ultimately, humanity is tilted towards the good.

Now this isn't some angry speak about when I was young things were so much better. Humans tend to remember their youth with rose tinted glasses. If youngsters today think their dads, mums, grans and grandads giving them speeches on how things were better when they were young is a new thing, then no, we were privileged to those speeches too from our relatives when we were kids.

It is part of the human condition I think. A sort of protection blanket for all the disgustingly terribly hard times that we went through thirty years ago, to be remembered fondly and with a smile. As an example I remember my late teens and early twenties as a very fun and lackluster part of my life. I am still fond of the music I used to listen to back then, and whenever I do put on the 90's beats I'm filled with memories of fun times and good bonding moments with friends.

But life isn't like that. There are bad times too. If I push my memory a little past the rose tinted glasses of yesterday then I'll remember how terribly lonely it was, how I didn't understand a lot of people, which often caused me to get into drunken fights. How I didn't understand women at all, and despite having a few offers I was too scared to take the plunge.

So life as well as amazingly youthful and full of energy was dark and depressing too. In fact if I think about it realistically then these times in my life were really not that good at all. Boozy parties, shaking disapproving heads from my work managers, and a long stint in psychiatric care. It was no easy ride that's for sure.

But for the first time since the industrial revolution, my generation can actually say times were different when we were young. Times really were. The youth of today are a whole different kettle of fish compared to what we were.

Thinking of the differences there was thirty years ago compared to now then they are vast. I have a clear memory in my head that when I was walking up the steps to visit my Gran and Grandad and as I got to the top of the steps I saw their street, which was absolutely full of kids out playing on the pavement and on the roads. It was a Sunday, and that was an old street, almost everyone there was a grandparent.

This just isn't the case now. There are too many cars on the road for children to be safe out playing in the roads like they used to. Our street is now a busy one where cars fly past at least every minute, but thirty years ago we were lucky if we saw one once per hour. The affordability and availability of cars have skyrocketed. So now rather than just the people that have good jobs and own their houses have cars, everyone has them.

Along with this trend we've seen the rise of electronics. In the 1980's we would play a computer game maybe if the day was rainy, or if there was nothing happening and our friends weren't coming out to play football or anything active like that. But today since computer games are so immersive and entertaining we stay inside rather than go out with our friends.

Long gone were the days when we would "just hang out" with our friends and have a laugh. It's all swapped with chatting with our friends over the internet chatting and playing multiplayer games.

We could argue that our kids are now safer that they are inside, but they are now growing up in intense isolation, far removed from the outside activity and "comradery" we used to have as children. I just don't see the kids bonding like they used to.

Bonding online is great, but we actually release a hormone when in the presence of people you enjoy being around, and we actually need this for our happiness.

Why I am telling you all this and what has it got to do with community?

Well kids playing out on the streets and being generally out and about was a good thing for humanity. We used to see more people and have more empathy for our fellow human being. I come from a time that when your elderly neighbour was struggling to walk around the house you'd be encouraged as a kid to do them a solid and go down and get them some groceries. Or sometimes I'd go places with my friend and his dad because mine wasn't around.

But that community spirit has gone. We are now replaced with extreme isolation and intense loneliness that wasn't there before. We had real deep friendship networks, places we could go and people we had made bonds with -- but it has been replaced for this almost robotic and technocratic distancing of each other. When I was a kid if I was acting up I'd get a kick up the arse from any of the neighbours, but now that is an offence that would involve the Police.

What was once a humanly mix of men and women getting about their daily lives has now become an intensely isolatory experience. We live out our days (mostly) through our technology and it is rare that we get to go out and have fun with other people. We no longer mix and share like we used to, in fact, most of what we buy and use can't be shared either. When we'd share music or videos, that's something you can't do anymore. But no-one really notices because there's no-one to share it with now.

The loneliness is real. And if you don't know how to deal with this it can be an incredibly confusing and lonely experience. When we were young loneliness was something you suffered in old age as all the people you know died around you, but loneliness in todays age is something I bet most people have experienced at some point in their life, and it's mostly due to the rise of technology, and being able to afford to survive on your own. When we were younger you needed other people to survive.

But the good thing is there are ways and means to get around this if you know how to create your own community around you. More on that later!

Peace.