Paying It Forward
He said to me, "Do you even remember how we started talking and became friends?" And then he continued to remind me. Eventually, not only did I remember exactly how we met, I also how far a simple act of kindness can go in a person's life. I was only doing what someone had done to me years before—paying it forward.
It was one normal evening on a Wednesday when I was on my way back from church. I was in my first year at the university. And as usual, it wasn't so easy to get transportation the darker it got. Unfortunately for me, it wasn't enough to take me back to the hostel on campus, where I resided. So I was practically stranded, with no cab or bike to take me home and no money to even afford the fare.
Soon enough, a cab stopped near me. And then a lady called my attention as she was heading towards it, while I only stood there perplexed, and she said to me, "Olujay, you're going to the hostel, aren't you?" I responded affirmatively. "Alright. Let's quickly go. I'll pay." She continued. Taken aback by what was happening in that moment, I had to snap out of being stunned and hop into the vehicle before, you know, it was too late and I went back to square one.
We had known each other before that night, and that was how we knew our names. "Hey! Hi!" That was all we really ever said to ourselves prior, as we never engaged in real conversations to deem ourselves friends. I was in the mechatronics department, and she was in the mathematics department—two departments far from each other by classrooms and courses of study. However, that singular act of kindness brought us a little closer.
I was shocked by what she had done. It was very odd and uncommon, as everyone likes to mind their business where we're from. The transport fare was only ₦50 (fifty naira), which was really small then and even almost obsolete now. The time, place, and manner of kindness were heartwarming. I will never forget.
Fast-forward to many years later. It was a warm Sunday morning, tending towards noon, and I was just returning from church with my pal. We arrived at the main junction to take a cab back home, and we walked a little while from where the previous cab we alighted from dropped us.
On our way to the next cab, we met this young man. We knew he was just coming from the same church and that he was a vocalist in the same choir my pal and I played guitar for, and so we stopped to greet him. As per guy to guy, we made a handshake in a very "guy-ish" way, smiled at ourselves, and then I asked what he was waiting at the junction for.
He said he was waiting for his friends so he could finally be able to get home, as he didn't have money at that moment. I could tell that he was only hoping his friends would show up or something, so I just asked him if he didn't mind if I paid for his bike fare home. He agreed, and I paid ₦200 (two hundred naira) to the bike man who was going to take him home. And that was how he got home after waiting so long at that junction, because he had already gotten there way earlier than we did.
It was something that my pal and I were actually used to: being generous and kind to people around us, although I mostly saw my pal do it more often. Years later, this guy that we had been kind to turned into a really good friend. And then recently, he reminded me of how we actually met and became close, providing more insight on how he got stranded that day.
It turned out that he had been betrayed by his friends that day. They had this kind of pact where anyone paid for everyone's transport fare that day, and then it would be a different person's turn the next time. He had spent all morning trying to get to church with his friends, only to find them leaving him at church stranded. And so what we did for him meant so much. To us, on the other side, we were just being us.
In my mind, I remembered just how it was to be stranded right there in that wide, open space at the junction. The very same junction that I had been helped at years ago. And so I was just paying it forward, even though I didn't think of it as so in that moment.
In a voice note that he sent to me, explaining it all, I was reminded of how far a simple act of kindness can go in a person's life, just as it did mine.
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Funny how I recently made a post about a stranger helping us with his car battery simply because someone else helped him with his in the past. This life is very wonderful I must admit. Paying kindness forward is something that makes it even more wonderful.
Hold up. I remember seeing your post now with a very similar title. Lol. I'll check it.
This life is wonderful indeed, man. Paying it forward helds kindness going and coming back around.
The Small act of kindness leaves a big impression. It was so nice of you, you got left by a Mathematician and you helped the other man with 4X generosity. Along the roads, these acts of kindness are very rare but we should do.
__
Heh. 4 times, indeed. I didn't even think of it in that manner. But, yes we should be kind in anyway that we can, every time.
An act of kindness can be seen as a seed of good deeds that will grow and become a big tree one day, see how that mathematician (omor she try oo) helped you and you helped another probably he will do the same, and goodness will spread. Truly all we need for our country and life to move forward is a seed of kindness which will spread and eventually come back to you. Thanks for sharing.
She try, as per mathematics wey study, bah? I know. Lol.
Imagine if everyone paid the kindness they received forward, how much better would the world be? But we're mostly busy minding our businesses, which is somewhat understandable with how unsafe the world is these days.
Yes friend, I do hope we try reaching out to motivate others to reach out.
It is really wonderful how an act of kindness towards you can help remind you how kindness can go a long way in the life of a person.
You see the cycle, right? I can only imagine the kindness he may have shown others since that day. And the others may not even realise that he was only paying it forward.
A little help is enough to create possibility to get some good friend. In the current time no one has the time to ask about the problem of others let alone helping them. Being generous can make world much better. Unfortunately, many people considering it as a weakness and trying to take the advantage of it also which is really bad because it demotivate others.
On the contrary, people that show kindness are the ones with true strength at heart. It is those that do not have the courage to be kind that shy away from it.
You were the one who thought the act of kindness was minute but I bet you that from the receiving end, it doesn't appear as small rather it is a big deal. Regardless of the amount spent or used to offer an act of kindness, the deal breaker is the thoughtfulness behind the act... which is usually a prerequisite for most kind acts.
Bullseye, Becky!
I actually shared the post with both of them, as I still talk with them, and they weer surprised, especially the mathematician lady. The guy, on the other hand, went to pin it. 😄
Thank you 💚
You have a fantastic attitude @olujay
I really love the idea that when we help people we don't expect anything back from them, rather we hope they help someone else in the future. If everyone in the world thinks this way we can surely end up making a better world.
Cheers from a fellow #dreemerforlife
You're kind, Brij. Thanks.
I think that one of the best ways to pay back kindness is to pay it forward. That way, it gets around and everyone gets a taste of it every now and then. Then, we'd have a much better world.
Great story! It reminds me of a similar topic, do you know the social impact of a smile?
I can explain it simply. How do you feel when someone smiles at you? Inwardly, I'm sure you like it. Maybe you even smile back.
Then you'll be in a happier mood in the next few minutes/hours than you were before. So in turn, you're going to smile at several people. Who in turn will smile back at others.
The opposite, anger, also has the same effect. If you're a real asshole to one person, that person is more likely to be an asshole to someone else.
All this to say that we all have an impact on others.
There is a chapter on smiles in Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. It describes the power of smiles when we're interacting with people, and it is just as you explained. I might as well revisit that chapter, now that you remind me.
Truly, man, the things we do can have lasting impressions on people. And lasting impressions of kindness can go a very long way.
I wonder, though, do you smile much when you're in public?
Oh yes, you're right, I'd better reread it too. I'd completely forgotten about this book, which is packed with information!
As for smiling in public, it's not obvious, I have a lot of trouble doing it myself. I usually smile when someone looks at me for more than 2 or 3 seconds.
So I'm not one of those people who smile easily, but I do my best to smile and share good vibes 😉
You have read it! So you know just what u was talking about.
If you do that, smile for about 3 seconds when people look at you, I think that's cool. You're doing it anyway.
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One thing I know about showing kindness is that it causes a ripple effect. You saved someone from probably trekking home just same way you were saved some time ago and I'm sure your new friend will equally help someone out too, one day.
The life we live isn't for ourselves alone so we should endeavor to show little kindness whenever we can.
#dreemerforlife
Oh, yes, Luchyl.
You never know the impressions you're making sometimes and how far they can go into making lives better. Surely, you must have been in the cycle a few times, paying kindness forward. Just have felt good...
A simple act of kindness really goes a long way.
True, Ama. True. Good to see you come around.
I have been in such situation before and got helped by a lady too. Little things can actually matter big time bro. Helping others doesn't hurt in anyway.
If it's within your capacity, why not help? It's not always straightforward in some situations, though, especially in our country where you can't trust people much, but the general idea is that it helps the world be a much better place.
Truly, one good turn deserves another. A little act of kindness goes a long way to warm up the heart. I just love the fact that you transferred the same deed to another person who really needed it as well. If only everyone would be like this, the world would be a better place.
#Dreemerforlife.
If only o. If only if everyone did, the world could be much better. Admittedly, it's not always easy in some circumstances, though. But it's always a good thing to be kind.
The act of kindness can't be overemphasized, the more you do for others, the more you do for yourself. I have listened to people complained about their kind deeds being paid back with evil, and as a result of that, they swore never to extend a hand if kindness towards others. The fact is, kindness should a be natural phenomenon, a way of life, and never to expect a reward from the person you were kind to.
I am thrilled by your act of kindness, kudos to you!
#dreemerforlife
Truly, it's normal to feel traumatised by evil paybacks. It's understandable. But as you have said, if everyone was kind, such a situation may not have even happened, to begin with.
Thank you for sharing
#dreemerforlife
That's true, sometimes this simple act of kindness can mean a lot for someone. You were helped once and you did the same for someone knowing how exactly it means to be helped. Kindness no matter how little it seems , can be all wanted at that moment
Popped in from #dreemport
Yes. Kindness may have little in some cases, if measured, but it surely would mean a lot to the receiver. We're on the same page, thankfully.
I've always known you to be a very kind and generous person and I'm happy it constantly speaks for you.
As you just said, a lady...you already know the expression I was keeping.😂
You know me very well, of course. And, truth is, I learn things from you...
And you already know that's my favourite one! 😄