When I couldn't fulfill a promise
Honoring promises is one thing I have strived to hold firm while dealing with my fellow humans. This is because I understand the repercussions of broken promises. It could lead to hurt and disappointment, and most times we lose trust in the process, depending on the kind of promise that got broken and also on the kind of individual we are dealing with.
When we make promises to someone, or perhaps a simple assurance, expectations are raised, and when it is unfulfilled, it could affect the emotional well being of the person involved. This is why it is important that we keep our promises where we can.
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Have you also imagined our politicians making promises during their campaign and not fulfilling them after they occupy those seats in the government? The feeling on the masses is always painful, and so we usually lose trust in them. Rebuilding trust after a broken promise is usually difficult and may take time for ones that can be rebuilt.
When I couldn't fulfill a promise...
There is this university close friend I had back then named Loveth. We got so close to the point of involving our different families, and the relationship was taking on a unique shape. I remember visiting her family house, and she did the same to mine. I got so familiar with her siblings and her parents as well. At a stage in our relationship, we made promises to each other, which are: we should always disclose everything to each other and not keep secrets of any sort; be honest and share ideas, goals, success hacks, etc. This was our promise, and keeping it brought about a great bond between us as individuals. Whatever happens to me, I call her and update her; the same is applicable to her. Thereafter, Loveth got into a deep relationship with one guy. I could feel the love she has for this young dude, and she was going crazy with it. The young man is handsomely made and very rich. Loveth, too, is a very beautiful damsel, and I was happy she found love. Remember, we were still in the university then, so the guy started spending on my dear friend Loveth towards her academic bills, and not only that, he was also spending on Loveth's family. He started taking care of the family's needs and even repaired their leaking roof at home. Loveth usually calls the young man her prince charming and can't stop saying that he is a God sent to her and the family after their proposal.
So later on, I discovered that her prince charming is a cheat. I personally saw him with two different ladies in a romantic manner on several occasions, and then I became worried about my friend Loveth. I was in a state of indecision about whether to inform her of my observation or keep calm and allow her to find out for herself and sort it out. Remember, one of our promises is that we shouldn't keep any form of secret from each other. So due to how sensitive this information is, I further sought the opinion of other people to know if I should inform my friend Loveth about her fiance's actions, but all I got as an answer was to keep calm as I wouldn't know when they would sort out their issues and I would become an enemy.
Sometimes when Loveth approaches me still expressing her genuine love and commitment to her relationship with her prince charming, I get moody because of what I saw the guy doing behind the scenes, yet I didn't know how to disclose the secret to her. She might feel that I was just being jealous of her, but I do not know if she will believe me. You see, it's a two-way thing considering that her whole family is already craving their union legally, so they will keep benefiting from the guy's richness. So disclosing the information might cause issues with their relationship, or it might not. However, I wouldn't want to be the reason someone would be unhappy, thus my broken promise to her. Of course, it wasn't intentional; I was just uncertain about the outcome of the information I had, even when we agreed that we shouldn't keep anything secret from each other.
Sadly, Loveth called me one day, crying over the phone. It happened that the young guy broke up with her over a new lover. The guy went to the point of sending her a picture of his new-found love, it was same person I saw the guy with, and Loveth was feeling so lonely and depressed. I paid her a visit to console her over what happened; That was when I let out the secret I had been holding. I knew about the guys new relationship but wasn't sure how she would react if I told her. Loveth and her family became mad at me for hiding such information from my close friend. The thing is, had I informed her about it, would it change anything? I wouldn't know, but funny enough, my relationship with Loveth and her family got soured from there. She could ignore my calls and messages for over six months; however, I tried establishing good communication with her to see if we could get back to our closeness, but it never happened. She still feels bad about losing her prince charming, and she still feels bad that I couldn't keep the promise of not hiding secrets from her.
I wish she could see the reasons with me, but I understand her feelings. We have been relating since then, but not like before. She feels hurt and betrayed. That meaningful connection that stood the test of time was lost, to date, to just a peripheral kind of relationship with Loveth.
If you were in my shoes, what would you have done differently? Please let me know in the comment section.
This is my response to the #hivelearners community contest on the topic titled A Broken Promise.
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At some point in our lives, things went out of control and we couldn't keep a promise. It's quite bad but we just have to live with it.
There are some things we cannot control, however, the ones we can, we should
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Hmm!! I think same thing happened between I and one of my friends recently, his girlfriend got another man and wanted to live him she told me about it and sought for advice on how to break the news to him. I know how much my friend likes the lady, so I refused to tell him about the it until she broke the news to him. Till date I didn't tell him I knew she has another man for long, I only comforted him for the heartbreak and life goes on lol
Sometimes, we just need to bury somethings beneath and never spill them out no matter how vital they are inorder to protect somethings. If you didn't tell her that you knew about it for long, she wouldn't have found out and your friendship wouldn't have been affected. In another way round, God knows best, he brings people into our lives and also takes them away. What has happened has happened, I hope you learned from it though.
I think the last thing I'll ever do in my life is to promise anyone that we will share secrets lol.. I can't keep such. For what you did, you were not wrong at all but if you had not opened up, it would been better.
Wow..... That was a nice feedback
I get it, some things are better left undiscussed.
Thanks for this Emreal ✅
You are welcome ma
I would share it instantly if I were in your place. I think your friend might feel bad at first but it will help her to mentally prepared and would face less pain when breakup happened.
Besides I don't think taking financial help from BF is a positive things.
Another point gotten.....
Well, we learn everyday and we would keep learning
As for me, I do not encourage taking financial help from BF Especially to that much, however it's about individual choices
Thanks for reading
Damn, that was actually a very precarious situation and the truth is that there was no right way to go about it. Some people who have been in a similar situation and chose to tell their friends about it have been insulted, called names like "enemy of progress" and still had their friendship destroyed. Who knows, maybe things would have ended in a similar way had it been that you told Loveth about it earlier, but as your friend she should have understood that it was a difficult situation for you but then again, many people don't know how difficult something is until they have found themselves in the same circumstance
Exactly... people may not know how difficult a situation is until they experience it first hand....this is why I don't blame her for her actions but it's well
I really appreciate your stopping by 👍
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Wow, what a difficult decision! I think you were very rational in your choice not to tell. You not only considered your friend but also her family, who was benefiting from the financial support of the guy. I think you did the right thing, although I would have told in your place. However, I completely understand your decision.
Yea, I was considering a lot of things and was just confused on what to do and so my decision. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this
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It's better as you kept it that way.
Same thing happened with my cousin's husband while I was leaving with them. I couldn't tell my sister because I didn't want to break their home. Her husband was a serious and chronic cheat to the extent that he impregnated her housemaid. She caught him herself and that led to their breakup in court.
Oh my goodness 🤭🤭
Things are happening oo 😂
For real? This is bad
Indeed!
It's always difficult to stand in between lovers especially when the one close to you doesn't see any fault in them, I understand you dear, she might have gotten angry with you and think you want to scatter her relationship not knowing it's actually true.
Me I would have hinted her to understand then find proof before finalizing.
Now, reading all comments, I am feeling bad now...I think I should have let her know 🤦
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At this junction, I can't hold any secrets from her! Haaaaaaaaaa...I sha know that my mouth wouldn't shut when it comes to things like this. I preferred let me break the relationship telling her what I saw and if she founds out at the end then I have not myself to blame at all. It is not easy and I understood her feelings and however if I was in her shoes, I would keep the relationship with me and you going further, prince charming or not!
Oh boy....I didn't get this right...I wish I could turn the hands of clock ⌚⏰
Many people feel I should have let her know why fear fear me couldn't let out the secret. Well, we learn everyday
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! help(no space) to get help on Hive. InfoWell there is a slang in warri that goes "Them nor de shook mouth put for man and woman matter because them go use you take settle" have it been you told her about his affair, she would quote your name to her boyfriend, so you did nothing wrong by not telling her i would have done the same thing. The only mistake you made was informing her you knew all along about his affair when he broke his heart, you could have just lock up and pretend you never knew
Yea...I would have lock up completely since I couldn't tell her initially..my bad
Yahhj your bad 🙄🙄
Interesting and sad story
If I were the one hehehe I would tell her wether she gets angry or not, the end would tell who's speaking the truth
You did well sha
Wowww
I think you are right
Thanks for sharing Ur view
Hmmm I understand your point bt you should have told her and seen how things played out, not just one but two! means the guy is a chronic cheat
Yes burl....you guys view on this making me feel bad and I wish I can turn the hands of clock ⌚⏰
Good morning
Like you truly said, it wouldn't make much difference telling her or not, but what made the difference was the trust she had in you. In trying to to break her relationship with the guy, you broke your relationship with her.
It's easy to say what I think I would have done in your shoes, but I know one thing is certain, everyone loves differently. Your action was has a result of how you loved her
My dear..I wish I thought deeper
I would have took the best decision
we term promise as a mandate story for everyone that own us for instance you promise somebody something like let me make use of phone as you promise someone phone when it is time to give him the phone you now crack a story of a truth i use to do that sometimes you think by such doing you trying to calm the situation not knowing you blogging another era that not end also it can also bring shame and lack of respect can come in lets assume everyone is doing it lets just assume it like that
We learn by our mistakes
Hard Lessons indeed
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