My Bitter Sweet Love Life.

Staying happy, how difficult could it be?
Sorrow lasted all night and in the morning? "My fall" was forthrightly staring at me in the eyes...
I undeniably saw this coming onset so, i wasn't shocked as anyone else could have been in a similar situation and that was because, i wasn't in any way expecting any other result contrariwise to the usuals......

This isn't the first,
This no be the second,
For a fact, no be third time be this.
Have always been left behind,
Have always had to pick up my pieces- self,
And sought for ways to have them back as whole again....Life sha must continue! ( You only live once - YOLO ) right?
I continue to live life as though nothing happened,
As though that's my new nolmalcy.
Perhaps, that's how it should be but, is it?

In life, we all give one thing to have something but sometimes we give too much.
I gave out so much trust, here i am with lot of betrayals.
I gave so much love, there i have it, loads of pains that's still aches in my heart.
I gave my all and what has that given me in return? Memories that are ever plastered in my head, garnished with bitter sweet flavours.
Letting go helps to find relief and fortitude to bear loss and count cost so as to keep living but, did i ever let go?

Too much of intake of anything often kills right?
I became weary of giving not to talk of, giving too much. I tightly held onto that part of me, that'll be broken if everything goes south.
It was a game to me and all i did, was to play my part smartly.
I wasn't ready to put in the work 'cos of the assumption that lives rent free in my head, "They'll walk out on me" . "In the end, i'm all i need".........
It got to a point where, i do not need to put in any efforts for a detachment to occur because, it has now became a reflex action even, when i so desire it to work.
When i want the friendship to work,
When i desperately want the relationship to lead us to a SHIP, i end up being the cause of it capsize.
Are the gods after me?
Has the goddess of earth forsaken me?
Nature god,where's thy face?
Is it this not the work of the Devil?

Nay nor yeah,
It is and it's not.
It is because," Fear is of the devil".
It's not because,"Fear is not the devil".
The fear of getting hurt keeps our life on halt,it dies the morale of experiencing new adventures.
It keeps in check our old bitter experiences and present it as new to us each passing day.
And life keeps passing by and by but,we are scared of passing through it,we are too scared to bank our chances on it.
Pitiful right?

A enough is enough!
Enough of the pity party parades.
Enough of sulking in the past misdeeds of yesterday.
There are certain eventualities in life that are inevitable but should that stop us from enjoying every bit of life? Enjoying life isn't the "Alice in a wonderful land tales" in your head.
Enjoying life is seeing that hurtful experience as an avenue to learn.
Enjoying life is embracing every moment like you wouldn't get to have it again.
Enjoying life is staggeringly standing up on your feet after a fail.
Enjoying life is celebrating yourself after a big feat.
And when others comes for that part of you that easily get broken, you give it out wholeheartedly knowing fully well "You Only Live Life Once".YOLLO).
And when another come for that same shattered, pierced heart, you give it out again and again.
Because now you know,
It takes love to break!
It takes love to heal!
Love pains!
Love heals!

© Medemausi 2024

(P.S : I'm writing this piece from a standpoint of healing.)

The picture is mine!