Showtime: A theatrical Valentine package for 'someone special'.

It is a bright Friday evening and rays of harmless light from the sunset penetrates into the room through the stylishly designed curtains. The weather is calm and its calmness is heightened in the room where Pete and Rose are using their hands to gesture to each other in a dramatic way.

On a normal day, this room mostly looks like the room of a lazy, careless, mischievous and dirty teenager. You'd be surprised to see how theatrically organized the room looks at the moment. Everything in the room is well organised, you can easily notice from a glance that the room is made that way to impress 'someone special'.

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This is not a surprise, per se. It's Valentine's Eve and Love is in the air. Pete and Rose are fully aware of what they are getting themselves into and they believe they are ready to deal with any consequence that comes out of their action. To crown it all, they also want to capture and cherish the moment forever. This explains why Cameras are set all-over their room. They are also using their laptop to monitor what's happening outside the room.

The heartwarming song playing out loud from Pete's phone is perfect for the occasion. He carefully selected a playlist with Rose before the moment. That's how these two have been since they got to know each other. They do things together and care so much about each other.

"I can't believe we pulled this off. Everything looks perfect." Pete said with a rather high tone as if he is making a public announcement.

That was his way of breaking the silence to create room for the core event of the evening. He's not the patient type, it seems. He made a gesture with his left hand as if he was sending a signal to Rose.

"Of course," said Rose. "I know we have been looking forward to this moment and this is a good opportunity to finally get to experience it ourselves. We have seen this in some shows. I believe we can do it." Rose ended her line with an 'okay gesture' which she did with her finger to signal that everything is going accordingly.

Pete stepped back to the table which they pushed towards the wall opposite where he is standing with Rose. He adjusted the two ring lights positioned on the table and grabbed a wired microphone which was standing in between the ring lights.

"I think we are set. Are we missing anything?" Peter asked with a convincing voice as he walked closer to Rose, but his facial expression shows that he wasn't interested in any answer in particular.

"Emmm... Noooo?" Rose answered with a shaky voice. Interestingly, her voice seems to be speaking a different language from her facial expression.

"Oh, come on. Tell me you are not scared. There is nothing to be scared of. It won't go very deep. It's just..." Pete was looking emotionless as he spoke, but anyone hearing his voice alone can be easily misled.

"No! It's not that I'm scared." Rose cut in as Pete was still trying to mumble some words.

"The thing is..." Rose continued speaking with a tone that sounds rather dramatic. "You know I agreed to this. We both agreed to do it and this is the best time to give it a try since you are going to be busy this weekend. I want this as much as you do, but we are both new to it. I know we replayed several scenes of this in that show and we feel ready, but what if...?" She paused and calmly walked closer to the door.

"It's alright. It's really fine. I understand your point". Pete took steps closer to Rose as he uttered those lines.

Considering the level of effort made to see things happen, it's hard to tell if he's fine with not seeing the core of whatever they planned for the evening. One thing we can always count on is that Pete and Rose truly care about each other.

As Pete took another step closer, Rose grabbed his hands saying; "Please, hear me out. I don't mean that we should stop or that we shouldn't do it. You know I freak out whenever I see blood. From the shows we watched, it is clear that doing this will surely get bloody. Even if you don't go deep, it will surely get bloody. What if things get messy afterwards?"

Pete took another step closer to Rose whose back was already pressing on the door. He could hear someone's heart pounding. It's almost like two different hearts pounding. For whatever reason, this discovery gave him an adrenaline rush. The look on his face is exactly the look that says "Gotcha!"

Pete's face was already filled with pride like someone that knows what will happen the next minute. He went on to speak in a dramatic voice; "Oh, Rose, don't worry about that. How messy can it get? If the blood drips on the bedsheet, the washing machine would be put to good use. If it drips on the floor, we will scrub the floor when we are done."

"Don't worry about anything getting messy". He continued... "Besides, we will both be gentle with each other. Okay?" This time around, Pete's facials were similar to that of a lover that dropped an icebreaking punchline. He's so full of pride in anticipation of what's about to go down.

They both smiled at each other. Pete detached the wired mic which was pinned to his shirt and grabbed one of the Cameras which was positioned in front of the window as they both faced the camera and chorused "Let's do this!"

(Followed by a series of loud bangs on the door)

"PETER! ROSELINE!" A feminine voice was heard yelling outside the door. Whoever this may be is surely not there to show a smiling face to them. If anything, she came with sharpened teeth and she was ready to bite hard.

How dare you bring disgrace to this family? Is this how I raised both of you? I dare you to attempt such sacrilege under my roof! The woman yelled.

She continued banging on the door with the furiousness of a tiger that is about to lose her prey.

"Open this door before I set this house ablaze! You and your sister will not be the cause of my early demise... Not after I carried both of you for 9 months". Their Mum spoke with so much pain in her voice.

The twins, Peter and Roseline, know their mum to be a true disciplinarian. She's a true African Mum after all. What they don't know at the moment is what they did to get on the nerves of their Mum. Oh, maybe the mischievous twins know exactly what they did.

Peter slowly opened the door, but before he could say anything, their Mum rushed into the room to see what was going on. She almost lost grip of her wrapper which she tied to her waist. She intently looked at Rose who was trying hard to hold her laughter. Judging from the way she fixed her eyes on Rose, you would think she was trying to find some lost gem carved into Rose's body.

"What's funny!?!" She yelled at Rose.

Peter burst into uncontrollable laughter. He was laughing and rolling on the tiled floor, like a kid on sugar.

"Mum, it's just a prank. Happy Val". That was all Rose could say before she also burst into laughter.

Their Mum gave both of them a death stare. She was filled with a blend of rage and relief in equal proportion. Perhaps... more rage than relief. Despite the two ring lights on the table, a couple of Cameras positioned in different parts of the house and the mic which is attached to the purple blouse that Rose was wearing, their Mum was still not having any of that.

"Prank or No Prank... Val or no Val, both of you have a lot of explanation to give when your Dad gets home". Their Mum tightened her wrapper around her waist, gave an exasperated sigh and stormed out of their room.

"I hate this social media era". She muttered on her way out.



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Bang, I did it again... I just rehived your post!
Week 138 of my contest just started...you can now check the winners of the previous week!
!PIZZA
8

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Thanks so much

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🍕 PIZZA !

I gifted $PIZZA slices here:
@pixresteemer(2/5) tipped @kenechukwu97 (x1)

Join us in Discord!

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Thanks

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Jeeez! You really got me on this 😢.
The first sections really portrayed a chemistry between two clean lovers that were about to sin against their creator, then they turned twins and ended a prank.😭

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Haha... I don't know if the story was well executed, but I really appreciate getting your feedback on this. Haha.

The story took that twist in a really unexpected way.

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You write well, @kenechukwu97, and it's always interesting to see what you come up with! You have a very inventive mind.

We hope you're open to some feedback. In The Ink Well, when writers have promise, we like to help steer them a bit with writing tips.

The challenge with this story is that there are gaps in the story line and the logic. What was the scenario that is hinted at? Nothing comes to pass. Not that we want to see blood... in fact we very much do not want blood. But why allude to some bloody thing that is going to happen, and then just have the mother walk in, get irritated and walk out? As writers, we have a responsibility to the reader not to lead them in one direction and then drop them cold. (Hopefully that makes sense!) It's like talking about two young people walking into a haunted house, hearing eerie sounds and then walking back out into the sunshine. If nothing actually happens, the reader feels frustrated.

Here's a bit more feedback for you. Your story shifts in POV (point of view). We don't know whose story it is. Sometimes we see the world from Rose's perspective and sometimes Pete's perspective. Other times there's a point of view that belongs to no one, so it can only be the author. We call this "author intrusion," and we recommend the linked article.

A story's POV tells the reader who to care about and what matters. It's important to get inside that character's mind and stay there. (The alternative of course is "omniscient" perspective, but that's not what you are doing here, because in omniscient we don't see or hear the thoughts of anyone. The entire story is told outside of POV.)

We hope those tips are helpful! Keep writing!

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We hope you're open to some feedback.

I was patiently waiting to get a comment from the inkwell team because I noticed how helpful and insightful your comments. I see them in other posts and I'm genuinely excited to get this one from you.

I appreciate every part of this review. I'm here to learn and I'm open to get the feedback.

I will take some moment to study this very well and apply it to my subsequent writing. Thanks so so so much. There tips are very helpful

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