Money Commitments: Who Are The Biggest Influence?

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I was having a serious conversation with my aunt some days ago, I called it a serious conversation because it was that kind of talk that revolved around the future and commitment.

This conversation has been recurrent for the past five years (I've probably talked about it here) and she is always keen on bringing up the conversation anytime I collected my salary, bought new cloth, or even spent money to buy a piece of gadget.

I think the expenses were a stylish reminder that I had other important commitments that I could probably save that money for. I find it hilarious that people would spot a problem without proffering any legible solution, this is to say that, people would always tell you what to do, but they'll never support you with enough willpower to do so.

The biggest willpower is money

How so?

In other to impose accurate support for a person when they're having commitments that require money. However it's tricky, supports can come in various forms but it's rare and strange to ask people for financial support in a journey that one's supposed to be intentional about.

so I guess, another non-monetary support is essential but at the end of the day, it boils down to the overall readiness of a person to embark on commitments that require actual figures and efforts. The external pressure most times is mere reminders. So in the case of my aunt, she was always asking when I'd consider getting a wife and raising a family.

It didn't end there

I was always laughing it off because I felt she probably underestimates the cost of that particular commitment and the repercussions that comes with it when people fail to be logical rather than sentimental.

However, one queer thing about African parents is their slightly porous ideologies about money. They somehow believe that money is easily made when two people join hands to work for it.

But in a real sense, this is seldom true but not always true. The reason it's not always true.

For example, a joint business partnership can be better than a sole proprietorship and this is because of the collective effort at growth

However, marriage as a joint partnership is the same too, however, the difference is that in marriage, when commitments and duties are not properly designated and there are no clear goals towards savings, it's difficult to solidly say two people might just do better than one when they decide to be responsible for familial duties.

Having money is not the only thing you need to be married, a lot of people use to think that love and money are the most important things, but they're wrong. But people are always carried away by the sentiment of being married to spite or prove a point so much that they forget that they're no longer the sole recipient of whatever consequences their actions might bring.

The influence of money can be perturbing

The reality is that I fear being poor and unable to cater to people I'm supposed to be responsible for, while some people might think this fear is baseless, I think it isn't. One of my cousins is going to be 34 soon and hardly considers being married but people fail to understand that he was raised in a family where people are born and left to fend for themselves.

He was opportune to work with wealthy people, he saw how they lived, the way they spent money, and the decisions they made impacted his life. This is one thing wealthy people do to you. Being exposed to them rubs off on you and the moment you begin to strive to spend like them or match their standard of living, it might be difficult to come back.

But, you cannot underestimate money as a huge factor

At the end of the day, it's important to make informed decisions irrespective of the fact that those decisions might not be the regular thing.

I for one, I'm not a person who's for spending glamorously on a wedding, especially when you're focused on the possibilities of unforeseen circumstances in marriages. Let's face it, money gives love a certain validation and to keep this validation one requires balance which can be achieved by being conscious and consistent towards their finances.

However, I get to rush, and with the haste of my aunt, I think she's probably right in her way. We can never be completely right when it comes to money, so sometimes I let the advice of aged people when it comes to money and commitment keep me up on my feet rather than influence me.

After all, we cannot hold people who influence us accountable because, at the end of the day, we're the central characters in our own stories.




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One of the best things about associating with rich people really is the mindset you develop. You start to think like them and move like them, and if you just do things right, you won’t far from riches either. I hope your cousin is able to tap into the benefit of associating with them and grow himself.

You know, when I started reading this, I thought the conversation with your aunt was about getting married lol. I’m glad I was wrong. People get forced into early marriages because of stereotypes like “they’re old enough to be married”.

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You know, when I started reading this, I thought the conversation with your aunt was about getting married lol. I’m glad I was wrong

Hahaha I know right? Of course, I didn't mean to make it about marriage, it's more like you pointed out, I wanted to talk about marriage as an advanced financial entity more functional as a joint partnership. As for my cousin, I think he's already thinking big, it's why he's not yet married. I'm 29 already and despite my health frailties, I have decided to Marry at my own time, because I do not want that African marriage thingy where people marry for the fun and ignore the financial commitment.

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Most African people these days forget that marriage is a partnership especially when we’re talking finance. They leave the family’s finances to one person (mostly the man) to handle and they wonder why their finances suck.

You and your cousin are lucky to have a family that don’t impose this marriage stuff on you just because they consider you old enough. Although I’m sure they still haven’t been totally quiet about the matter. A lot of young men have been forced into marriages they’re not ready for by their families who abandon them to handle their own financial responsibilities as soon they get them hitched.

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Actually, if my family had money to give me, then they'll impose marriage on me. But because they know it's my sole financial responsibility, they can only suggest to me; make me see reasons without trying to force me. But if I stay till maybe 35, they'll have no option but begin to force me..

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Well I hope you don’t have plans of staying single till 35 then.😂

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I was having a serious conversation with my aunt some days ago, I called it a serious conversation because it was that kind of talk that revolved around the future and commitment.

I just got flash backs from the day she gave you a wedding invitation and could guess the conversation already😅.

True marriage comes with a huge responsibility and it's up to the new generation to overcome the old beliefs that prioritise marriage and have settled to thriving.

It viewed as being overly ambitious if one priotise financial stability and means to buil generational wealth before marriage.

But I am hopeful that the new generation will be able to filter the old influence and play by their own rules to fit their financial status.

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Thank you for your comment. In reality I prioritize financial awareness and responsibilities to being married. If my parents prioritize a lot in the past, I feel my life would be better and different today. My aunt is always going to bug me with marriage conversations until I get it done, however I feel that I'm in control of my own life since they're not influencing me financially.

Hahaha I want to believe I'm part of the new generation even if I'm not Gen-Z, but then, it'll be hard for people to do things differently without the impact of influence.

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True the ball is in your court to make a choices that would work for you.

Lol. Well the new generation in this regard I'm including any that comes after the baby boomers and Gen X.

It takes time to unlearn the societal beliefs so I think the millennials are still fairly the new group to diverge from the old beliefs and Gen-Z will advance on that. Meanwhile the Alpha won't even relate to this society timeline for marriage, it would be comedy to them.😅🤭.

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I think money is definitely an issue and I haven't even bothered thinking about making a commitment yet. I have heard a lot of people say that they don't think they can afford a family if they have a child. It's kind of weird how I have heard how you just required one person to work in the past to support an entire family.

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I can understand why you haven't made any commitments yet, I think it's one huge commitment that requires intentionality. I heard it's even more difficult in the US. With the child support stuff and all that.

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