Here's Why I don't love "The Love Of My Life"

about 1 year ago

I'm an easygoing person on the surface, one person who reminds me of myself is @ksam; Slow poison on the outside, fast poison on the inside. Baba knows everything inside out. I call him our engaged single friend because he knows everything there is to know, yet he seems so simple and ignorant of anything. @ksam likes to hang around women.

I remember the first meetup we attended in Lagos, he was just smiling at the ladies, of course, I would prefer he did that, but he was doing it so stylishly from the corner of his eyes, it was like a smooth criminal. Of course, it takes a criminal to recognize another smooth criminal, and this is why I want to tell you this story.

I like hanging around women when I was in school, and this was simply because that gender (the merciful ones) can give you their last money when they see you as their good buddy. I remembered being chased out of class by this professor.

That morning, two of my favorite female classmates had an accident and they came to class bleeding from the knee and face. (A beautiful mess I must say) I jumped out of my seat and went to help them, while the class was going on. The professor saw me and walked me out of class.

They literally held me down for this picture, it was a kidnapped shot.

I didn't mind, I helped them get their parents and they went to the hospital. After this incident, these two started buying me things. If I indicated that my ulcer pain was getting bad, they fill my belly with junk food and invite me to their hostels for a proper meal.

Of course, I did their assignments and whenever my male classmates saw their assignments, they'd be like "This is Joseph's handwriting", I practically did the assignment of many decent girls in school and in return, they gave me good food, and called me "my love" a lot of our tutors were beginning to imagine if that was my birth name was "my love" unless they check my matric number.

Anyway, I was out sick, I had female students who recorded the classes for me, did my assignments, and conducted my projects. I enjoyed this status. Until the tag "my love" became too annoying. Even the old women selling food in school were calling me "my love". It became irritating, but I just had to always smile uncomfortably and moved on. One day, I called one of my female classmates and asked her to stop calling me "my love" She said why? I told her because she doesn't love me, and I didn't love her either.

She said of course, but the name was cute and she'd keep calling me that. I asked her what she called her original boyfriend. She said "My love". I began to imagine, why are women so complicated. Of course, I enjoyed all the attention, care, and food. I remembered this lady who her boyfriend confronted her for calling me her love. The told him not to worry, that she didn't love me. It was a huge and expensive joke, but after a while, I would hear people scream my name from afar whenever I'm going to class.

They'd be like "Josssseeeephhh, my love, I'm sorry I don't love you" then I'd reply, "My little piglet, I don't love you too" It was so amazing, sometimes, I'd laugh out my lungs, and even people who are passing by would join in the laughter.

They were amazing. How do you call someone your love and still tell them you don't love them? I enjoyed the clarity by the way. It was like an ironic situation. Normally a sane person could easily read the "bro code-ness" I had with these ladies.

There were easy to convince. Women are prone to suggestibles especially when they feel indebted to you. I made sure I did them favors and they in turn rendered me bigger favor. I couldn't do so with my male colleagues. They were difficult to convince. All I did was do the girls some favors and call them sweet names like "sweet potato" "vanilla strawberry" and "fine angel" and they could give you half of their kidney.

But one thing a lot of guys I knew couldn't do was to keep a formal relationship with females, I did this excellently well. I was probably the laziest student in the class, but it wasn't my fault, I was constantly out sick, sometimes two weeks, sometimes 3 weeks and I needed them to do my school work for me at all times. I wasn't entirely a dull student, so it was easier for them to want to have this platonic relationship where everyone gets to establish a win-win situation.

We did it excellently well by taking advantage of what most people would never do. Apart from the whole comic aspect of this personal life story. The moment of realization for me is that I did what I had to do to survive difficult situations, I couldn't cope with the demands of being a student, but I was a fighter and I achieved what I wanted.

Interested in some more of my works?

Reviewing A $400 Samsung Galaxy A72 (photos Included)

Hive's Scalability & The Compromise Of Commitments

Money: The Consequences Of Making The Right & Wrong Decisions

The Nigerian Economy: Monopolizing Incompetence

The Experiential Process of Understanding Money

A Case Of Theft On Hive: Here's Why Some People Choose Scam.

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