So Many Ways To Show Yourself Love...

_{Tim Mossholder}

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Self-love should be made compulsory for everyone living on this planet, as a matter of fact, the absence of it should be punishable by law. Because when you face the facts, a lot of people do not show themselves enough love. And now, you can’t really blame them, because many times, the situations we face in life may cause us to think there is no love left to give for ourselves.

It can be hard, extremely hard to love yourself. It can be hard to decide that you only deserve the very best, it can be hard to decide to pamper yourself, and it can be hard to decide to kick the standard of your life up several notches. You might find it weird, but people do find it hard. From financial reasons to wondering what others will say about them, they manage to convince themselves not to do the very thing they believe will turn out well for them.

For me, I define self-love simply as the act of doing things that will make you happy and fulfilled, in spite of other things that might want to take away that happiness and fulfillment. These days, we find ourselves so weighed down with responsibilities that it is hard to take out time to just breathe and enjoy ourselves. We keep on postponing it, thinking that when we are done with what we have to do, then we will have time to enjoy ourselves. But alas, we usually find out the hard way that real life is very different.

We all have bills to pay, and we all have one person or the other counting on us for one thing or the other. Such expectations can suck the happiness out of us, but only if we allow it. As long as we are intentional about how we feel and what we want for ourselves, then it would be very easy for us to find happiness and do things that will work out for our well-being.

_{Ron Lach}

Self-love is not limited to money, it can just be doing something that genuinely makes you happy. It can be taking out one day from your busy schedule to binge-watch your favorite movie, it can be going out to buy that bucket chicken that has always been on your mind. Just do something that you know that when it’s over, you’ll be happy about it.

I’ve always been a strong advocate of self-love. I found out early on that when I consider myself first, things tend to go my way better, and when I am doing things, I do them with a more positive approach. And of course, I have also had instances when I showed myself a lot of love. Although it is not too recent. When I think of showing myself love, the most recent that comes to mind is sometime last year.

Back then, I was in Lagos and I was with my parents. I had a lot of time and the bills back then were not as much as they are now. So I was able to keep some aside for me to just have a good time with myself. I am usually saddled with less work on Sundays, so that is when I choose to have fun. And back then, I went to the cinema.

I’ve always been a huge fan of cinema, watching in HD and listening to everything at high volume, it is always an experience for me. At first, I was only going there when popular blockbusters were released, but later on, I was just going for the fun of it. It got to a point where for two months in a row I was visiting the cinema every Sunday.

_{Tima Miroshnichenko}

Now, my trip never ended in the cinema. Most cinemas here in Nigeria are located in malls, and most of the malls have supermarkets. So, after seeing my movie, I always go into the supermarket to do some shopping as well. And what will I go and buy, the Yorubas will call it Ije ku je. Things that will not be of any benefit to me at all.

One of my favorite biscuits is Fox Cookies, I love all the flavors, especially the chocolate kind. Back then the price was somewhere around N1200, but later on, with inflation and whatnot, it got to N1800. The last time I bought it was late last year, and I’ve not bought it again since then. I so much loved that biscuit, sometimes I would eat it three times a week.

Another thing I love is the Snickers snack, that groundnut chocolate paste. Its effect on the brain is just on another level altogether. So, I buy all these after seeing my movie and take them home to feast. Sometimes, I would throw Ice cream or cake. But most of the time, it would just be Fox Cookies and Snickers.

So, I would buy all these after my movie and return home. But I have siblings whose eyes shine brighter than the headlamps of vehicles. They already knew my movements every Sunday evening and they were always waiting for me to return with my “goodies”. So I usually sneak into the house, or I would throw the biscuits in through the window of my room and walk through the door with nothing in my hands, telling them I didn’t buy anything. Then, at my pace and to my enjoyment, I will devour.

_{Min An}

Of course, they eventually caught on to that trick. So even when I sneak the biscuits in through the window, they will follow me to my room and won’t leave until they collect their “tax”. I had to think of something else. I decided to always buy a bit extra. That extra was for all of us, and it was apart from mine. So when I get home, I show them the extra, we all share it and everyone is happy. Actually, I am happier because I know I still have lots more waiting for me.

It was a great time indeed, but then as work started to pile up and things became more choked up, I didn’t have time for such anymore. No more time for regular trips to the mall, instead I was using all that extra time on Sundays to make up for lost sleep. And then, not to add that the cost of living has been through the roof since then, showing myself these days is not kind of expensive.

But then, going to the mall is not really what makes me happy. Watching movies is. And I never stopped doing that, I still watch movies, no matter how busy I am. It is like one sin I just love to indulge myself in. I have learned that when you genuinely love yourself, things like low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and all those negative energies will become a thing of the past. You will willingly put yourself through tough times because you know that it is for your own good and it will work out great for you in the end.

Self-love is not just about roses and lilies, it’s also about knowing that there will be thorns as well, but it won’t stop you from doing what makes you happy.

And that is the beauty of it all.

_{Ylanite Koppens}

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_{Thank you for reading. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below, I would love to know what you are thinking. Till we meet in the next post.}

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_{This post is inspired by the first topic of this week which is Self-Love. Feel free to take part.}

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