Is the difference between past & present you is the growth you want or you need in your life!

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Hello fellow Hiveans, hope you are all doing fine. Every once in while we may tend to evaluate ourselves depending on the situation we face in our life. How we were? and how we are? Gives us the answer that may satisfy some and dismay others depending on how far they got in their perception. This evaluation is so called personal growth. I wanted to evaluate myself how I was five years back and now. The results gave me a horrible realisation and that is there are two sides for this personal growth. One is the growth we need and the other is the growth we want in our life.

Unfortunately my growth tends to revolve around what I need, it's not what I wanted. For some it may look like a good thing, while it's clearly not for me. I will explain in detail. Five years back I was staying in Bangalore in search of job for software testing. I was jobless at that time. My parents used to send money for my expenses and to stay there to get a job. In there my daily routine is to see if I got any mail from any recruitment team for a job opportunity and using laptop to watch movies or series. The weather of Bangalore is like a devil, it would be cold enough to get you warm when wrap yourself with a blanket and that gives you sleep. I used to sleep a lot.

After five years, now I have a government job, I'm married and have two beautiful babies. But the most disappointment thing is in these five years I lost my father, my grandmother and my mother was constantly showing ill signs, there was a time when I almost all the time I used to stay in the hospital for my mother's treatment. My mother has an accident. There are plenty of health related issues to my mother, that at one point I was having suicidal thoughts seeing all of this.

But now, I get past it and I manage to pull back and paved my life to a new path. In those worst situations I realised that we need to accept the fact that if we cannot change something then we need to live with it. This thought opened my eyes and has shown me the life I used to see is not the way to see it. You know how our brain does with us thoughts, it manipulates us and gives us some other reasons to live with it. Now I live for my family and this is the my personal growth from five years back me to a person who I'm now.

Some may say that we need to put effort in life if we want something, from my perspective life just gives you want you need, not what you want. For some purting more effort to achieve what you want makes the situations worst. It's better accept the things we have and be happy with it. Even if we had accepted what we have, some times our brain plays trick on us by giving you thoughts of what you don't have now which you wanted.