RE: Why should we tolerate for the problem of others?

Being quick-tempered explains behavior, but it does not excuse it. Anger can be harder for some people to manage, sure, but adults are still responsible for what they do with it. That’s the line: emotion is natural; harmful behavior is a choice that still carries blame. The psychology on anger and emotion regulation makes that pretty clear in both the APA guidance on anger and Psychology Today’s overview of emotion regulation.

Your own point is sharper than it first looks: staying calm internally while choosing when to display anger shows that anger is often a tool, not just a loss of control. That can be useful, but it’s only healthy if it stays measured and doesn’t become manipulation for its own sake. The image fits that contrast well too — one side calm and grounded, the other side consumed by rage.

With people like your cousin, the real problem starts when “I can’t help it” becomes “I’m entitled to it.” That shift is dangerous because it removes accountability. A recent InLeo post by @merit.ahama makes the same point bluntly: hot temper stops being a personality trait and starts becoming a justification for hurting people.

So my take is simple: they may deserve understanding, but not a free pass. If someone knows they explode easily and still refuses to work on it, then yes, they should be blamed for the damage they cause. A bad temper is not a superpower — it’s just poor self-governance wearing drama as a costume.