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This is an interesting, worthy piece, @icyink. The text is uniform in appearance. It would be good if you broke the large paragraphs into smaller sections. A block of text is rather intimidating for the reader. The esthetics of a page are important. The flow of a piece is enhanced by the way it appears on the page.
This story certainly held our attention. It was emotionally effective without being maudlin. We hope to read more from you.
0.00000000 BEE
Thank you so much for this warm comment. i am happy that you liked my story.
I would try to work on breaking my paragraphs into smaller bits.