How i am seeking my peace
Our life is full of those two decisive words at moments where we would like to change the course of events; such as improving our opinion of an event or simply reflecting on the situations that occur within our environment.
I tell you that throughout my life, since I was approximately 30 years old, I have been harshly singled out and criticized by those around me for not having children. Phrases such as You are going to be alone when you are going to give birth or are looking for someone to have a child with were permeating the depths of my heart, making me feel bad, incomplete and frustrated for not being up to the demands of society where the A woman must get pregnant no later than age 30 because after that she is considered too old to give birth.
Faced with such remarks, I simply limited myself to staying quiet, smiling and changing the subject without giving explanations of life; ignoring the part about how I felt and that the statements of my environment affected me so much.
One of my personality traits is that I try not to hold grudges or resentments when someone hurts me; At first I am invaded by a feeling of anger that later transforms into deep sadness and then culminates in disappointment, which causes me to distance myself from that person, and my treatment towards that person in particular changes to a more neutral treatment without any demonstration. of affection.
Faced with such remarks, I simply closed in on myself and reduced my circle of friends to a minimum, without fighting or arguing, just preserving my emotional tranquility. The years passed and my panorama did not change, on the contrary the accusations were worse, since for society I was getting older and older, an ideal candidate to be left alone in the future, therefore an incomplete woman.
The point is that if I had only overcome my shyness and raised my voice in the face of so many accusations, it would have saved me a lot of suffering, and you would have avoided feeling so marked and so different from the women who are part of my environment.
That is why now I avoid using the phrase if I just simply say what I feel, if people like me and if not, I simply think first of my emotional tranquility, I avoid storing negative feelings in my life and I always seek my peace.
