Stepping Off the Edge of the Past Into the Future

Sarah felt the soft breeze rustling her skirt as it swirled past the rock walls of the ledge. She stood at the back of the ledge looking as far out as she could into the horizon beyond. The landscape was lush with trees and fresh flowing water.

She closed her eyes, lifting her face up to the soft rays of the sun falling across her face. Slowly, steadily she breathed deeply in and out. She allowed her mind to move back into her past, exploring her regrets and mistakes. The patterns and behaviours she repeated so often.

Her perfectionist ways, strengthened and justified by dwelling on the past mistakes. As she clung to the perfectionism, she would point to those mistakes for reasons why she had to do nothing but the best.

As she continued her deep rythmic breathing, she let a new thought through. The awareness that perfectionism really wasn’t about doing something perfect. It’s about creating an excuse for not just trying her best and releasing it to the world. An awareness perfectionism, was an excuse for inaction, leaving her stuck in the past.

She could feel tension spreading throughout her body as the awareness of how tightly perfectionism had its hold on her. She gasped, momentarily breaking the deep breathing she was trying to focus on maintaining. As she breathed in as deeply as she could, a new image came into view

It was people, a group of people — she let the breath out slowly and drew slowly in again — the faces of the people started to come into view. Parents, grandparents, teachers and others all pointing like they were lecturing a child. The child standing forlornly before them.

Sarah knew that child, she saw herself in its face. She knew what was being said to her. She’d heard the messages most of her life about never ‘being enough’. In her mind she reached out towards the child, beckoning it to run to her.

It turned. A look of recognition warily crossed its face. It turned back towards those she knew so well. The child started to back up away from the lunging fingers and soul destroying words. She paused. Look toward the familiar but unknown kind face beckoning her to come toward her.

The child turned sideways, her gaze moving between Sarah beckoning her into the unknown and the faces and messages she knew all too well. Sarah could feel the distress of indecision coming from the child. In her mind she opened her arms and smiled to the child. With one last look back, the child ran towards her.

Sarah moved a few steps forward from the ledge of the past sheltering the child in her mind with a hand protectively on her shoulder. The child looked up at her, arms uplifted wanting to join Sarah. She embraced the child.

Sarah refocused on her deep slow breathing. She let her mind return to the present and take in how she felt.

There was a sense of relief, a slight relaxing of the tension she had felt. She had coaxed the child away from holding onto the past. In doing so, she cut the hold the past had on her. Now she stood on the ledge between the past and the future.

As she let her thoughts explore how she felt, she took a few more steps away from the edge of the chasm towards the middle of the ledge. The sun had shifted some, she moved enough to get it back on her face, warming and relaxing her.

She looked out over the lush possible future. Some feeling of hesitation crept into her mind. The tentacles from the past were not completely cut away. They were thinner though, not the strong branches holding her when she first stepped onto the edge of the chasm.

As she moved away from the edge, they got thinner. There was more to cut away, but they were no longer able to hold her back from moving into the future.

Glancing back one last time, she exhaled and turned stepping with determination to the path and into the future.

Shadowspub writes on a variety of subjects as she pursues her passion for learning. She also writes on other platforms and enjoys creating books you use like journals, notebooks, coloring books etc.

NOTE: unless otherwise stated, all images are the author’s

How to Connect With ShadowsPub:
Twitter: @shadowspub
Instagram: shadowspublishing
Medium: @shadowspublishing
Publishing Website: Shadows Publishing
Nicheless Website: Nicheless & Loving It
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