Free From Favorites

Have you ever been asked what your favorite food, color, or hobby is, only to be met with a blank stare? Yeah, that's me. When it comes to having favorites, I'm like an anomaly. A stranger lost in a new town. Whether it is color, food, video games, movies, songs, or cartoons, I always find it difficult to pinpoint a particular answer. I have thought of this many times. Why do I struggle to have favorites? Is it that I am indecisive and cannot put myself to choose between two things? I have friends with whom I play question games, and when I ask them questions about their favorite things, they give direct answers without hesitation. I started to think, how did they easily come up with that?
Doesn't their mind get conflicted before they reach a conclusion?

I have always been like this for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I found it difficult to have a favorite color. Pray, I was bent on having my favorite color because almost everyone had one. During my elementary school days, when my classmates would ask each other about their favorite colors, some of them would say green, blue, and other colors. Most girls would mention pink. And there's me, with nothing in my head. When I got tired of giving no answer to the question: what is your favorite color, I decided to do something about it. My classmates were also tired of my lack of answers. They’d ask, “How come you don’t have a favorite color when there are so many colors to pick from? How is that even possible?” To silence them, I decided to pick blue as my favorite color. I chose blue because it seemed to be every guy’s favorite color

So, whenever we were playing question-and-answer games in class, I’d always mention that blue was my favorite color when it got to my turn. But, deep down, it wasn't. I only chose it because every other person had a favorite color and I felt like an outsider. I didn't like anything about blue. Like every other color, it didn't evoke any special feelings. Nothing special.

When I got to high school, I got tired of my “favorite color.” I guess I couldn't keep up with the fairness anymore. I moved into another school and I just felt I shouldn't keep up with the lie about my favorite color. Surprisingly, my new classmates also had. favorite color. Yes, all of them. So, I embarked on a journey to choose another one. Out of the many colors, green came to my mind and I went for it. Then, I realized that people don’t really like green. When I tell them that green is my favorite color, they go “How will green be your favorite color?” I liked the looks on their faces when I told them about my favorite color. I liked that it surprised people and made me feel special. I didn't like the color green at all, I just liked that it made me different having a “special favorite color.”

Have I ever genuinely liked a color? Of course, I have. Once, I genuinely liked the color red. My mom would often say red looks good on me. She got me a few red shirts. I have received compliments even from strangers that red looks good on me. Although I genuinely liked the color, but not enough to tag it as my favorite.

After I graduated from high school, I decided to drop the whole facade of having a favorite color. I realized that no one would beat me if I told them I didn't have one. Now, when people me about my favorite color, I tell them that I have none. It gives me greater peace.

Are you like me? Do you struggle to have a favorite “anything?”

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