The Intelligence Spectrum: Emotional Intelligence

I’m not sure what prompted this, but recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about the very subtle differences between being smart and being intelligent. I think these are two words we often use interchangeably, usually to express different types of intelligence. I call these “types” the intelligence spectrum, and that’s what I want to discuss today.

Intelligence

I am sure that when you read this, what surfaced in your mind was academics. If I weren’t writing a post about the spectrum of intelligence, I know that’s what I would have been thinking for sure.

But taking a closer look at it, intelligence is shown in many different ways - some good, some bad. Since I’m not writing this post to be the moral judge of character, there will be no good or bad in the situations I’ll present.

Exhibit A – Cunning and Manipulative

Have you heard of emotional intelligence before? I’m sure you have. I’m also sure that what you’ve heard about it, or what you know about it, is simply that it’s about understanding your own emotions and how your actions affect the people around you (or how your actions affect the emotions of people around you, specifically). This is correct. However, this understanding has a sort of confirmation bias that usually leads people to think only about the positive aspects. For instance, relationship coaches will tell you that it helps you understand your partner and be a better person toward others.

What people usually don’t like to say and won’t talk about is that emotional intelligence can also teach people how to be manipulative. If you understand how the things you say or do affect others, what’s to stop you from leveraging that to your advantage? If you haven’t caught on yet, this is manipulation - using what you know about people to control them.

Don’t be quick to draw conclusions yet. I am very aware that the definition of manipulation may not win friends, but manipulation is not always a bad thing.

When you research a company you want to work with ahead of your interview, so you can say the right things and land the job, you’re engaging in subtle manipulation.

"Emotional intelligence (EI), also known as emotional quotient (EQ), is the ability to perceive, use, understand, manage, and handle emotions."

This is how Wikipedia defines emotional intelligence, and I quite agree with it. Don’t you think that in the job interview scenario, you’re understanding your interviewer’s sentiments about the things you say and using that to win them over?

This week, we had a supervisor visit our school for staff monitoring. From what I gathered from my colleagues, this lady was known to be notoriously ruthless and condescending. So imagine their shock when, after observing my lesson, she praised me to my headmaster. Though I didn’t tell them anything, I knew that she didn’t just like me because of my lesson. I understood the things she’d be interested in and what she wanted to hear, and I gave her exactly that. I’m not boasting, but I like to think that I understand people well. I am very self-aware (one of the superpowers emotional intelligence gives you), so I naturally know how to get along with people if I want. This isn’t manipulation; it’s just understanding people and emotions and using that knowledge to my advantage. This is the type of intelligence many people ignore, and in my opinion, it’s the one that more people need to pay attention to. People management is a great skill in every aspect of life, and emotional intelligence is your key to mastering it.

I’ll probably dive into the other forms of intelligence in my posts over the next few days, but for now, tell me what you think about this one.

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