Lol, My Handwriting Brought Me Back to Myself (IRONIC, I know)

Two days ago, I wrote about what it feels like inside my head, and I even tried to draw it out.

_{Leonardo Da Vinci could never!!!}

I’ll just link that story here because, honestly, the illustration didn’t really do justice to what I was trying to say. (Yes, I'm the worst at drawing).

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The curse and blessing of being multipassionate

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Anyway, I was feeling a lot that day, so I pulled out my diary and wrote. And I realized, it’s been since March that I last wrote in it. March, when I was in the middle of what I can only call an existential crisis. That diary always pulls me back whenever turbulence comes. I always seem to find my way to it anytime my head feels like an interconnection of live wires waiting to touch the other.

And funny enough, writing by hand feels completely different from typing on my phone or laptop. It’s slower, yes. Always messy. My handwriting has always been unimpressive; my parents used to joke that I’d become a doctor, ha ha. Jokes on them oh coz my career path took me through medical school but not a medical course 😆

But there’s something in the scratch of the pen, the way the letters come out uneven, that makes me feel more connected to what I’m saying.

When I write on a screen, I edit too much. Delete, rewrite, polish until the rawness disappears. Get hyper-fixated on which punctuation to use and which not to use. But on paper? Everything stays. The crossed-out words, the scribbles, the smudges. It feels real. Honest. Like proof of what was going on in me at the time.

And that's one of the things I like about minimalism, because it feels like that too. It’s not only peripheral but also deep-seated within us. It's not just physical decluttering, but sometimes, in going back to write on paper because seeing your handwriting again, scribbling until your wrist aches, sometimes resets the brain.

My diary, with all its ugly handwriting and half-formed sentences, is essential. It’s where I slow down, where I remember myself. This is a shout-out to my beautiful diary and a reminder to us that sometimes, decluttering is to go back to the basics.

I didn't need a brand new diary, or a therapy session, or an expensive solo date where I'll splurge money I'd just locked in my savings account; all it took was whipping out my old diary, wiping the dust, and just writing my heart away.

So tell me, do you also have a dairy or do you use to? Lastly, please tell me your handwriting and drawing skills is at least better than mine.

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