I Keep Choosing "Not Yet" Over the Life I Actually Want

If I am to compare the time I used in figuring out the prompts that connects more to my life right now, understanding the prompt I decided on, finding the right images that will relates to my response to the time I'm going to think through my life and give the response, it's way shorter.

While I was trying to understand the prompt and find images, my mind kept saying I should give up the prompt I've decided on... It all came from my second thought after the first thought had concluded on the best prompt to write on because it is what my life right now relates to.

I'm starting this way to say, I love how thought-provoking these prompts are and that "The thought loops I have to release are the second thoughts that comes after I've thought about something". So yeah, I decided to share a part of my life right now with the option about loops heh.

For a while now, I've been learning and studying about my life, career path to choose and changing my mindset to relate better with myself and people around me. It's a journey that will not end until the end of my life, I believe so. But it's a journey with lots of loops that I'm holding on to.

And from what I understand thought loops to be, they are the repetitive thoughts that keeps holding me back. Those things I keep thinking about again after I've decided on something, I've been able to find patterns with it and I've understood what will change when I let them go.

The life I want is where I have this fire burning inside me, unfading excitement about something I am passionate about. A life where I speak what's in my mind clearly and considerably to the listener, a life where I manage my fears like a pro, a life where I am confident of the things I know.

I want a life where I don't have to think too much about a decision to the extent of not taking action about it anymore. I want a life where I'll see myself as someone who can serve and make impact on people positively and to the delight of my creator and the universe. I want to attract good people, wealth and growth in all aspects.

I've pictured my life in the future, I love it but one thing my mind knows very well and yet to apply right now is, I can live that life of my future now. Because I have only my present, not my future, the future it is yet to come. Embracing the moment and taking action right now is the goal.

But then...

The loops I am yet to release to think more clearly.

The loops that are holding me back from living the life that I want now are simple but weighing thoughts that I want to release, even though I keep holding on to them when a new day of opportunities comes. “I’m not ready yet”, “I need to figure everything out first”, “What if I fail?”

Simply, I'm overthinking instead of taking action even when my first thoughts has given me lots of idea to work with until I have better ideas. It's a scary phase of my life because I know what's stopping me but no courage to overcome them or release them to think clearly to the live I want.

A lot of thoughts are slowing down my growth but knowing them is a step I appreciate because I know I'll eventually get over them and grow into the life that will not just serve but impact others.