WHEN FREEDOM BECOMES OVERWHELMING ... Kiss Blog Idea Week #210

I vividly remember that particular day, not because anything sensational occurred on that day, but because nothing occurred.

I got up and had a whole day to look forward to... no pressure.
I said to myself today I am going to be productive.

I had options.

I had the opportunity to practice my writing.
I could study.
I could go out.
I could rest.
I would even attempt something different.

Everything was open.

And somehow that was the thing.

I had begun with my phone.

To check something really fast.

One application gave rise to another. Then another. Before I knew it, almost an hour had passed and I hadn’t done anything meaningful. So I attempted to reboot.

I said to myself, okay, now we have to concentrate.

However, another choice came.

What is it specifically I should pay attention to?

Writing?
Learning?
Planning?
Resting?

Each of the options was legitimate.

All the options seemed significant.

And, as it were, on account of that none of them felt clear.

I went to my laptop, opened a document, gazed at it a few minutes then shut it.

Not that I was unable to write.

But since I was not able to determine whether that was the most appropriate thing to do at that time.

So I changed once more.

Tried watching something. Didn’t feel right.

Tried reading. Couldn’t concentrate.

Tried resting. Felt guilty.

It was evening and I had made so many almosts.

Almost worked.
Almost rested.
Nearly liked the day.

But not fully.

And that was when it struck me.

It was not the issue of time.

It wasn’t laziness either.

Excessive options were too many.

It was one of the lessons that I learned that day, which I did not anticipate.

The freedom of the unlimited options does not mean that you are free.

In some cases, it generates stalling.

Since when everything is possible your mind begins to seek out the ideal choice.

And in endeavoring to seek perfection... you postpone action.

Since that time I have begun to do something easy.

I narrow down my choices even before the day has arrived.

I choose one or two out of five things that I would have given myself to choose.

That’s it.

No back and forth.

No overthinking.

Just a straight direction.

And, unexpectedly, life began to seem lighter.

Not that I now had less to do, but because I had less to determine.

And there is a peace that is in the knowing:

That is what I am doing to-day.

No internal debate.

No constant switching.

Just clarity.

There is one other thing I have noticed.

When you are not able to make any choices, then you are more present.

Instead of thinking about what you can be doing, you give more attention on what you are doing.

And that alters all.

I would believe that the peace was a result of choice.

I believe now that it stems not only out of not having to have so many.

The reason is that, not all decisions are value adding.

There are some which simply make noise.

That day revealed to me that More freedom is not always necessary.

Sometimes…

you simply require less choices.

Images are Mine