Selective empathy:When compassion has a condition.

Have you ever noticed how easily we show empathy when the situation affects someone we care about, but suddenly become less understanding when it involves someone we dislike?

That is selective empathy.

We may feel deeply for a mother struggling to feed her children, but quickly judge another person for making mistakes without knowing what they are going through. We may defend our friend's actions while condemning the same behaviour when someone else does it.

The uncomfortable truth is that empathy is easiest when we can relate to someone.

But true empathy asks us to go beyond familiarity, friendship, tribe, status, or personal feelings.

It doesn't mean approving of someone's actions. It simply means remembering that every person has a story we may not know.

We don't have to agree with someone to understand their pain.

Perhaps the world would be a little kinder if we stopped asking, "Do I like this person?" before deciding whether they deserve compassion.

Empathy shouldn't be reserved for people who look, think, or behave like us.

Maybe real empathy begins when we can say:

"I don't agree with what you did, but I still understand that you are human, and you may be fighting battles I know nothing about."

It's easy to be compassionate toward people we love.

The real test is how much compassion we can show when our feelings are not on their side.

Perhaps empathy becomes meaningful only when it is inconvenient.