Three Tune Tuesday (on Wednesday)

Ahhhh I am a day behind my beautiful roadmap, some unexpected things have as well happened; all good, positive, necessary things I think - especially when we view this in the context of the 7 years 16 years MY ENTIRE LIFE.

"This is what we are doing" - its not just my motto, its the truth. I knew this would not be "easy", if it were someone would have done it already.

But if there is one song, the one that has been played on my playlist louder than any other, 2378549467 times since we "started" this process just 11 days ago, it is this one:

I'm gonna fight 'em off
A seven nation army couldn't hold me back
They're gonna rip it off
Takin' their time right behind my back

And I'm talkin' to myself at night
Because I can't forget
Back and forth through my mind
Behind a cigarette

From "What in the hell has gotten into you Eco? published January 19th

And the message comin' from my eyes
Says, "Leave it alone"
Don't wanna hear about it
Every single one's got a story to tell

Everyone knows about it
From the Queen of England to the Hounds of Hell
And if I catch it comin' back my way
I'm gonna serve it to you

EVERYBODY KNOWS! I hate this part, but that's why we must, come back in a month to read the post-mortem, there will be something for everyone to learn.

And that ain't what you want to hear
But that's what I'll do
And the feelin' comin' from my bones
Says, "Find a home"

I'm goin' to Wichita
Far from this opera forevermore
I'm gonna work the straw
Make the sweat drip out of every pore

I don't know who needs to hear this but:

I've got land bro.

It's a labor of love.

And I'm bleedin', and I'm bleedin', and I'm bleedin'
Right before the Lord

All the words are gonna bleed from me
And I will think no more
And the stains comin' from my blood
Tell me, "Go back home"

Completely unexpectedly, during an AMAZING podcast with @abrockman, my dear friend now after ... 5 years? of working with him, I found myself "telling my story". Now, don't get me wrong, around a campfire I always have more stories to tell. But, the first 17 minutes of this podcast are deeper and more complete backstory on "Eco" than I think I have told in a while.

And this time it was recorded! No pressure to watch it now, this post is about the tunes.

Well part of that story is one "minor" line from my Dad,

"You are dead to me"

Now, I should be clear - he didn't last long on that. We talked! I was back and forth US-Colombia quite a bit in those early years, as I "figured it out". But....I never forgot that.

My Dad is a really special guy to me. In some ways he is my hero. He has a super unique brain, way to think, and possibly my SUPER SKILL SET at bridging, mediating, concilliating, translating and generally dealing with slightly autistic developers as Project Manager stems back from me being his shield, mediating FOR him against the world.

I cannot thank him enough for that.

But, he is an asshole.

Its not just my opinion bro. This is a fact. And its okay, the world needs assholes too.

And when he reached back out to me after the podcast to criticize me about not mentioning that the embarrassing thing he really did say was not permanent, we do talk, and he was just......ifying....

At first I did what I always do - what I do best. I bridged, mediated, translated and generally made peace, for others.

But that night...the storm started. After a beautiful week that allowed me tremendous productivity in my "outside office", we had a spring storm a brewin'. Just as my mountain started soaking up the front bands of rain clouds, the lightning and thunder started booming in the distance, but drawing nearer.... suddenly I just had all these emotions.

I "only" sent him ~20 minutes of whatsapp audio messages. But I spent the whole night wandering my farm, my home, in the super storm of the season, in the rain and the lightning, listening to each message of mine again and again.

I let him have it. All of it. Everything. Forever.

And..... I feel good about it. It gives me a little smile inside when I see that the message I have pinned in our chat is:

I'm 37 dude. This is what I am doing.

And then, a memory. A far away time. Listening to this song with my Dad, back when the roles were reversed.

And yeah, sometimes its good to cry. (at least, in the middle of a storm, in the middle of the night, when no one can see you). I certainly wouldn't recommend doing it often. But - this is life! All the emotions, this is life!

And Dad, I know you are reading this. I hope we can "have a good time then". I love you.

Freedom and Friendship