Books And Blank Pages

Sundays are for book reviews. I actually didn’t knowingly pick Sunday and say, “Okay, this day is for book reviews, a day where I just come to talk about books in the Hive Book Club community.” It just started happening, and week after week, I got used to it. Now, I already have it in my mind that I am going to review books every Sunday, and it has become non-negotiable. Today is Sunday. Actually, it is almost midnight and this is me here, sitting on my couch, my head slightly tilted towards the front door. Today is my book-review day, but how can I review something I haven't read? How do I review a book when I haven't read a single book in weeks?

This morning, I took a long walk around my library to see if I could find a book to review, maybe a book I read a long time ago but hadn't reviewed yet in the Hive Book Club community. But all my efforts yielded no results, all the books I came across, or at least, the ones that caught my attention, had either been previously reviewed or were not just “good enough” to be reviewed. After a while, I gave up on it and said, “you know what, I give up. Hopefully, my eureka moment will come soon and I’ll get something to write before the day ends.” Seconds led to minutes and minutes to hours, and I still could not find a book to review. When I saw that nothing was coming, I decided that I would just pick up my phone and start writing. You know, let the words flow freely. And that's exactly what I'm doing.

I have been struggling to read. I have been struggling really hard to read books. Trust me, this isn't the first time this has happened. This “phase” has happened quite a number of times in the past, but this one just feels different. The other times, it didn't take too long before I cleaned off the dust on my books and got back to reading, but this time. It has been going on since like forever. It is like being trapped in a dream where you are struggling to unlock a door and the moment you are close to achieving your goal, it becomes even harder.

On Saturday, during the Hive Book Club hangout, I shared my problem with the other book lovers. I told them about how I've been struggling to read books. @princessbusayo said, "How does one actually read when they don't feel like reading?" I remember my university days; most of the books I read weren't because I felt like reading, but because I had deadlines to meet. If I didn't read them, I wouldn't do well in tests and exams. However, things are different now. No one is pressuring or motivating me to read. I also think my brain is trying to rest. I mean, I barely graduated two months ago. Maybe my brain is trying to relax and prepare for what's coming.

Regardless, I have a goal to read a book this week. Honestly, I don’t know how to go about it yet, but I hope for the best.

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Thanks for reading.