The Art of Saying No: Why I Wish I Was Less of a People-Pleaser

One thing that I wish to change about myself is Setting Boundaries to protect my peace. Most times, I'm usually considerate just because I am a peaceful person hence, I wouldn't want any problem to occur in any way. Also, there are things that I am supposed to act on but choose to overlook due to my nature and which have caused me more harm than good.

For instance, there was a time we went for a program as instrumentalists and we were given a stipend after the program for transportation, apart from the allowance they gave us which was #5,000 for 2 people which we were supposed to take #2,500 per person but because the guy that I was paired with, did not have #500 and I also do not have, I had to take #2,200 from him and he left with #2,800 which I told him that I'll get my money from him later.

I later overlooked the money and left the money for him. I did not even ask for it after we saw each other later and he never bothered to approach me to give me the remaining change.

After a few weeks, we were on our way to another program so we boarded a tricycle in which the rider asked us to pay #250 per passenger. I did not have the #50 change with me, and I pleaded with that same friend of mine to help me with #50 because he gave the tricycle rider #300.

Immediately, he declined. He said that he was not going to pay and that everyone should pay by themselves. I was really gutted, and when I got home, I began to ponder. I felt bad because I never expected that my friend would act in that way.

ALL IMAGES ARE MINE

This is what many of us experience nowadays. We tend to neglect our peace for the sake of satisfying other people and making them feel happy with us. Some people value others' happiness more than theirs which is far from good. The fact remains that whatever we do to people, whether good, fair, pleasing, or trying to be considerate, will not change their character especially when they're rooted in it. Some of them even think they're doing us a big favor by communicating with us, hence the disrespect. And that's why they mostly take our gentility for stupidity.

So, I hope that I can set boundaries henceforth to create peace for myself, especially by saying "No" when it matters and "Yes" when I need to say it.