When Love meets Tradition: Who Gets to Decide?

Recently, a friend of mine messaged me, and while gisting with each other, he told me about the problem he is currently facing. He is looking for a way to get 4million Naira for his wedding.

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I asked him some questions regarding his finances, and he told me he earns less than 100k in a month. I didn't need to ask any other questions because that alone was enough for me to tell him he is making the wrong decision, trying to do a 4m wedding when he can't earn that amount in a year.

I suggested to him to just buy the bride's stuff and give it to his family and do a court wedding, which is the cheapest right now and doesn't involve inviting many people, but he said that his wife's family is the one to decide and they want a traditional wedding...

This is a norm in some part of my country; it is a culture that I find annoying. It is the wife's family that decides the kind of wedding the couple will have. I don't think this is fair if they won't be the ones to bear the expenses. The guy is looking for 4m to satisfy his in-laws now.

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I guess this is also the reason many marriage ends quickly, when the couples have spent a lot to satisfy their family and are now left with nothing to sustain their home.

I told him my mind, which is not to put himself in debt just to satisfy the request of his in-laws, that 4million Naira you want to use to do a wedding can be used for something more important like investment, triple the money and you can go ahead with the wedding, it is not a good idea to borrow money to do such a thing and there is high probability your wife can leave you if you start acting broke after the wedding cos of the debt you need to repay.

We are now in a new era where family doesn't need to decide for you, when a poor man refuse to marry people would have a lot to say, they will condemn and criticize but when a rich person do the same thing, they don't mind or see anything wrong with it, such is the case of Christiano ronaldo who is not yet married to the mother of his kids and you will not see any one condemning his action but if it is an average person that tries it, you will see people ready to crucify him.

In the end, do not let anyone rush you; do what is best for you and your partner, not what the family thinks is best.

Who do you think deserves to decide the kind of wedding to be done? The groom-to-be or the bride's family?

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