Showing Up, When It Mattered Most

Happy weekend everyone! Hope you’re finding some time to rest and think and reflect no easy task, that last part. Here, then, is the quote that has been stuck in my head since last week and the beginning of piece it inspired. This week’s prompt led me to something I had wanted to ponder on for quite some time, respect. That’s the one thing I’ve always refused to do.

It’s not just a word that people bandy around, for me it means something, I cherish it, I cherish it in the ways that I’ve seen it, in the ways I’ve experienced it.” I was raised watching friendships destroy themselves over unkind words. One minute everyone was getting along and joking, the next we were all enemies because somebody got too mad or they tried to make a joke that fell flat. It taught me when I was quite small that words have power they can heal, but they can also hurt.

And for as someone once said, “Respect is earned. Honesty is appreciated. Trust is gained. Loyalty is returned.” I have learnt it the hard way but am glad i learnt it earlier. Cause, even if they forgive you, people never forget how you made them feel.

To be honest, I had to learn this the hard way. I’ve lost someone I loved, due to disrespect though playfully, or with my very odd sense of humor. He didn’t see it that way. and I minimized it as a “no big deal” moment was absolutely breaking his heart. The horizon began small: fewer phone calls, shorter chats, diminished warmth. And before I even knew what was going on it was too late.

I came to understand that there is no trust after disrespect.” No matter how much they effort, you can never feel safe with someone who shames or demeans you. That is why I made a rule for myself, and I will apply it to him: no name calling; no insults, even when I am angry or disagree with him. Emotions are no excuse to gun someone down.

I also made the decision from an early point in my life that I won’t remain in places where people are rude to me or talk down to me. Life is hard enough why stay somewhere that’s a soul killer? Boundaries are the way I protect my peace.”

I’ve also found that if I cross it, I apologize promptly. Pride used to hold me back. I’d wait days, even when I knew I was in the wrong. Now I realize apologies made early can soften the hardest feelings.

These days, I even take a second to think before I say something, particularly when I’m angry. I taught myself that silence, if only for a while, can save friendships. However I believe respect is the foundation of any relationship. Without it, nothing holds. So no matter how busy I am, no matter if we’re hollering across the room, no matter how much pain I am in, respect is my non-negotiable. Because when it comes down to it, if you really care about someone, you make them feel that they do. And that’s the standard I’m being held to.

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Images designed on Canva by me}

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