The Day I Lost My Cool.

I am not the kind of person who gets angry easily. Most times, I just smile and walk away. I always try to let things go because I believe peace is better than being right. But there was one day, one very long day, where I just could not hold it in. That day, I exploded right in front of people and honestly, I don’t regret speaking out, but I definitely could have handled it better.

It happened last year during our department’s group presentation for a course that carried serious marks. We had been assigned groups randomly and unfortunately for me, I was placed in a group with someone I had never really clicked with. His name is Felix. Tall, always talking, always trying to act like he knows everything, and never willing to do any real work. From the beginning, I noticed he was always absent from meetings. Even when he showed up, he would talk over others and somehow never deliver on his part. We all covered up for him more than once just to avoid having problems with our lecturer.

But for this particular presentation, we were to present in front of not just our lecturer but two invited guests from another faculty. So I was determined that we do things right. I took time to write my part and shared it early. Others did too. We held rehearsals, corrected each other, practiced our transitions, and stayed back after lectures to make sure everything was going well.

Felix was nowhere to be found for most of the preparation. He only sent one voice note in the group chat two days to the presentation, claiming he had been sick and would be ready to do his part. I was already irritated but decided to give him a chance. We gave him a simple portion to handle. Nothing complicated. I even typed out some points to guide him. He said okay.

On the day of the presentation, he came late. And when it was his turn to speak, he just stood there, smiling and talking off-point. It was as if he didn’t even read the material we gave him. He made jokes, stumbled over his words, and repeated himself. Our lecturer frowned. One of the guests shook his head. I was boiling inside.

After we finished, I expected him to say something, maybe apologize. But he walked up to us and said with a big smile, "I tried right? At least I made them laugh."

That was it.

I didn’t even think twice. I turned to him in front of everyone and said, “You’re a joke. Do you think this is a comedy show? We worked hard and you came here to embarrass all of us. You are not serious and you will not ride on our hard work again.”

The whole class went silent. I saw some people lower their eyes. Others looked shocked. Felix tried to say something but I raised my hand and told him to shut up. “We covered for you before but not again. If the lecturer fails us because of you, I’ll personally go and report how you messed everything up.”

It was not my proudest moment. My voice was shaking. My hands were clenched. But in that moment, I didn’t care. I was tired of always being calm. Always playing nice. Always acting like I was okay with people using others.

After the class ended, he walked up to me and said I embarrassed him. I looked him in the eye and said he embarrassed himself. That was the last time he ever joked with anything we worked on.

Later that evening, I felt a little bad for the way I shouted. I talked to one of my coursemates and she told me she understood how I felt. She said I was not wrong for expressing how hurt I was, but maybe I could have spoken more calmly. She was right. So I sent him a message. I did not apologize for what I said, but I apologized for the way I said it. I told him I was angry because I cared and I needed him to see that it was not personal, it was about respect for people’s time and effort.

He replied and said he understood. Since that day, things have not been the same between us but we nod when we pass each other. At least there is peace now.

Looking back, that day taught me that even the calmest people have their limits. Silence is not weakness and anger is not always wrong. But how you express it can either solve the issue or make it worse. Next time I’ll still speak up, but with more control.

We are all just people trying our best, but nobody should be pushed until they break. And sometimes, breaking the silence is the only way people will finally hear you.