Growth I Didn’t Recognize Until It Happened

Growth can happen in ways we don’t always notice. Sometimes it’s loud and clear like when we graduate, get a new job, or learn a new skill. But other times, growth is quiet. It happens slowly, buried in the everyday moments of life, you
Don't even realize it until one day we look back and say, “Wow, I’ve changed.”

When I was younger, life felt simple and full of love. My parents were everything to me. I remember how they used to buy me Christmas clothes, how they looked after me, how special I felt. I was their first child, and I cherished every bit of the attention and care they gave to me i miss those moments. But everything began to change all of a sudden when I was about five years old and my parents gave birth to another child in the family. The love was shifted to the child taking care of her. I didn’t fully understand it back then. All I knew was that things were different and deep down, I missed being their everything.

Then, three years later, they gave birth to twins. Now my younger one was three already me I was eight years old then. I had started to mature a little taking my younger sister along with me to school we attended the same school, I was helping out more that way, and doing my best to be responsible. But even though I was growing up, some of me still longed for the same attention I once had. I didn’t know how to express it. I didn’t want to seem selfish, because I truly loved my siblings. But in my heart, I quietly struggled with the feeling that I had been forgotten.

I began to wonder if something was wrong with me. Why did everything change? Why did I stop receiving Christmas clothes? Why did it seem like all the love was being poured into the younger ones while I was left in the background?

I didn’t complain. I kept it all inside. But those thoughts slowly turned into resentment. I began to see the “loving ones” my siblings as the reason I felt unloved. I hated myself for feeling that way, but I didn’t know how else to understand what was happening.

Now, as I near 30, I see everything so differently.

Life teaches you in ways you can only understand when you’ve lived through enough. I’ve come to realize that my parents weren’t being unfair. They were doing their best. They had already given me their all when I was younger. As I grew older, I began to take on a new role not just as a child, but as a big brother, as a helper, as someone they could lean on. That was their way of trusting me. That was a sign of their love.

I’ve also come to understand my siblings better. They were just children too, growing up in the same house, receiving the love and care they needed just like I once did. It wasn’t their fault. I carried silent resentment for years, not realizing that I was looking at it all through the eyes of a hurt child who simply missed being held, praised, and celebrated.

Now, I see things. I look at my parents older now, a little more tired and I realize it’s my turn to give back. They fulfilled their part. They raised me, nurtured me, and now it’s my responsibility to be there for them.

And to my younger siblings, if they ever read this, I want to say: I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the jealousy I held in my heart. I didn’t understand then. But I do now. I love you all deeply.

Growth doesn’t always happen in big moments. Sometimes, it’s in the quiet realization that you no longer hold bitterness, that you understand your role in a bigger picture, and that your heart has softened with time.

This is growth. And I’m grateful for it even if it came with a few tears along the way.

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