Sleep: From Punishment to Longing

Like Sasha Alex Sloan said in her song “Older”:
The older I get, the more that I see
My parents aren't heroes, they're just like me
And loving is hard

Getting older and realizing my parents didn’t hate me as I thought, they weren’t wicked, they didn’t punish me for the fun of it and I am not an adopted child like I always thought makes me want to go back in time and erase every negative thought from back then.

This week, we’d like you to share something your parents or guardians used to ask you to do that you thought was punishment until you grew up and realized they were rather helping you.

My parents taught me so much as a child, and I have them to thank for the lady I am today.

Most times, I can’t help but think about my children, would I be able to instill morals in them like my parents did? Will I be able to train them in a way they’d look back and applaud me and their father for everything? Would I? I’m worried because I am still figuring life myself, making countless mistakes and wrong decisions. Will I be equal to the task? I guess time will tell.

Back to the prompt. Growing up, anything my parents did that didn’t make me happy was considered a punishment. I didn’t understand where they were coming from, all I knew was that they were after my life. One of these things is sleeping.

source

Growing up, I hated sleeping, I hated that my parents forced me to sleep against my will.
You can’t catch me taking a nap or sleeping early at night if I wasn’t forced to.

I hated night curfew, what do you mean I had to be asleep before 9pm? When all my favorite shows started by 9pm?
I saw sleeping as a big punishment my parents meted out whenever they were tired of my troubles. While I did everything within my power not to sleep, I slept anyway.

source

Flashback to today, I wish my parents could still force me to sleep, or punish me if I didn’t want to.

I struggle to sleep, I’m nocturnal. I love when everyone goes to bed and I am the only one. How I become so hyperactive at night worries me. Why would I stay the whole day and derive joy in staying awake for hours? How can I be able to cook at 2am and I am not fazed?

What I dreaded as a punishment as a child is what I yearned for right now. I wish my parents could discipline me every day for not sleeping. Too bad that can’t happen as I am an adult now and responsible for myself.

source

It’s funny how we begin to realize that every action, advice, and decision our parents made was for our own good. Their actions were building us gradually into who we are, and that’s the beauty of parenthood. Suddenly, everything begins to click, and make sense and we just can’t thank them enough for all they did.

_{All images are mine except otherwise stated.}

Thanks for stopping by
Loads of Love🥰🥰
XOXO