He Loved Her, But She Didn’t Feel Loved
Just want to share a story, and I hope you will learn something for your marriage and family. It's about different languages of love:
Ano ang iyong paraan ng pagpapakita ng pagmamahal? Ano naman ang paraan ng pagmamahal na iyong nauunawaan? Mayroong isang mag-asawa. Sa simula, minahal nila ang isa't isa. Maganda ang samahan, parang paraiso sa lupa. Nagkaroon sila ng mga anak. Nag-alala ang lalaki para sa kanilang kinabukasan. Naisip ng lalaki na kinakailangan niyang gumawa ng paraan. Bumalik siya sa paaralan upang muling mag-aral at maitaas ang antas ng kaniyang kakayahan sa pag-asa na lumaki rin ang kaniyang kinikita. Habang siya'y nag-aaral, nabawasan ang kaniyang PANAHON sa kaniyang asawa.Doon nagsimula ang kalbaryo. Naisip ng babae na hindi na siya mahalaga sa kaniyang asawa at hindi nakikita ng kaniyang asawa ang kaniyang mga sakripisyo. Wala siyang natatanggap na WORDS OF APPRECIATION mula sa kaniyang asawa. Dahil sa likas na tahimik ang babae, sinarili niya ang kalungkutang nararamdaman. Pinilit niyang libangin ang sarili at siya ay humingi ng pahintulot sa kaniyang asawa upang muling makapag-aral. Dahil sa labis na pagmamahal at tiwala ng lalaki,pinayagan niya ang kaniyang asawa. Sinuportahan ang pag-aaral. Habang nag-aaral, nakatagpo ang babae ng ibang mangingibig na pumuno sa kakulangan ng PANAHON at PANSIN ng kaniyang asawa.Isang bawal na relasyon ang nagsimula. Napansin ng lalaki ang pagbabago sa kaniyang asawa. Ang dating MALAMBING na asawa ay naging malamig ang pakikitungo sa kaniya. Ang lalaki, dahil likas na tahimik, ay sinarili na lamang ang hirap ng kaniyang damdamin at sinikap na gawin ang lahat upang maibalik ang dating LAMBING. Simula nang sila ay ikinasal, ang lalaki ay hindi tumigil sa PAGBIBIGAY ng mga regalo tulad ng bulaklak, damit, at iba't ibang mga pasalubong. Sinikap niya ring PAGLINGKURAN ang asawa sa mga gawaing bahay tulad ng paglalaba, pagluluto, at pag-aasikaso sa mga bata. Subalit ang lahat ng kaniyang pagsisikap ay wala nang halaga. Pagkalipas ng mahigit 4 na taon, umabot na sa sukdulan ang pagtitiis ng lalaki at kinausap niya nang masinsinan ang kaniyang asawa at ang babae ay nagtapat ng tunay na dahilan ng kaniyang panlalamig. Humingi ng tawad ang lalaki sa kaniyang mga pagkukulang at hinimok ang babae na magsimulang muli. Subalit para sa babae ang lahat ay tapos na…
Sa kwento ng mag-asawang nabanggit, may 5 mga paraan ng pagpapakita ng pagmamahal: 1. panahon o quality time, 2. appreciation, 3. lambing o physical touch, 4. gifts o mga regalo, at 5. service o paglilingkod.
Ang paraan ng lalaki sa pagpapakita ng pagmamahal sa kaniyang asawa ay sa pamamagitan ng pagbibigay ng regalo at paglilingkod. Ang paraan ng pagmamahal na nauunawaan ng lalaki ay lambing mula sa kaniyang asawa. Sa kabilang banda, ang paraan ng pagmamahal na nauunawaan ng babae ay panahon at appreciation. Sa madaling salita, ang lalaki ay hindi nagbago sa kaniyang pagmamahal sa kaniyang asawa. Iba lamang ang kaniyang paraan ng pagpapakita ng kaniyang pagmamahal. Subalit para sa babae, hindi mahalaga ang regalo at paglilingkod sapagkat para sa kaniya, ang pagmamahal ay ipinapakita sa panahon at appreciation. Ibig sabihin, hindi sila nagkakaunawaan sa paraan ng pagpapakita ng pagmamahal. Lumala ang kanilang suliranin sa dahilang sila ay kapwa likas na tahimik at matiisin. Subalit may hangganan ang lahat, pagkalipas ng 15 taon ng pagsasama tinapos na ng babae ang lahat ng namagitan sa kanila. Dahil mahal ng lalaki ang kaniyang asawa, handa niya itong palayain para sa ikaliligaya ng babae.
Gaano karaming mag-asawa na nagsimula sa isang magandang samahan, subalit nauwi sa paghihiwalay sa dahilang hindi nila nauunawaan ang isa't isa sa paraan ng pagpapakita ng pagmamahal?
Using Google Translate, the above piece has been translated into English as follows:
I’d like to share a story, and I hope you can take away something valuable for your own marriage and family. It is about the different languages of love:
How do you express love? And what form of love do you best understand? There was once a married couple. In the beginning, they loved each other deeply; their relationship was wonderful—like paradise on earth. They had children, and the husband began to worry about their future. He felt he needed to do something to improve their situation, so he went back to school to upgrade his skills, hoping to increase his income. However, as he focused on his studies, the TIME he spent with his wife diminished. That was when their ordeal began. The wife felt she was no longer important to her husband and believed he failed to see the sacrifices she was making. She received no words of appreciation from him. Being naturally quiet, she kept her loneliness to herself. She tried to distract herself and eventually asked her husband for permission to go back to school as well. Driven by deep love and trust, he agreed and supported her studies. While studying, however, the wife met another man who filled the void left by her husband’s lack of time and attention. An illicit affair began. The husband noticed the changes in his wife. His once affectionate wife had grown cold toward him. Being naturally quiet, the man kept his emotional anguish to himself and strove to do everything he could to restore the warmth they once shared. Ever since they married, he had never stopped giving her gifts—flowers, clothes, and various tokens of affection. He also tried to serve his wife by handling household chores such as laundry, cooking, and caring for the children. Yet, all his efforts proved futile. After more than four years, the man’s patience reached its limit; he had a serious talk with his wife, and she finally confessed the true reason for her coldness. He apologized for his shortcomings and urged her to start over, but for her, it was all over...
In the story of the couple mentioned, there are five ways of showing love: 1. time or quality time, 2. appreciation, 3. affection or physical touch, 4. gifts, and 5. acts of service.
The husband expressed his love for his wife through gift-giving and acts of service, whereas the form of love he best understood was affection from his wife. Conversely, the wife perceived love through time and appreciation. In short, the husband’s love for his wife had not changed; his way of expressing it was simply different. However, for the wife, gifts and acts of service did not matter, as she equated love with time and appreciation. This meant they failed to understand each other's ways of expressing love. Their problem was compounded by the fact that both were naturally quiet and long-suffering. Yet, there is a limit to everything; after fifteen years of marriage, the wife ended the relationship. Because the husband loved his wife, he was willing to let her go for the sake of her happiness.
How many couples begin with a beautiful relationship only to end in separation because they fail to understand each other's ways of expressing love?
For the AI-generated Christian love song for this article, kindly check When Love Speaks Different Languages. I hope you like it.