We are done with the 14th chapter of How People Change. The chapter talks about the fruit. Here in chapter 13, we will see the kind of heart that produces such godly fruit.

The 13th chapter started with an opening statement from Chapter 2:

Nothing is more obvious than the need for change. Nothing is less obvious than what needs to change and how that change happens.

The authors expect that reaching the 13th chapter, the above statement is already clear to Christian readers.

Chapter 13 can be divided into two major parts:

• The role of the heart in biblical change

• A case study applying the four stages of biblical change based on Paul’s letter to the saints in Philippi.

However, before the case study, I would like to insert a separate section about the wayward heart.

Source

The Role of the Heart in Biblical Change

The human heart describes “who we are at our core” (p. 172), the seat of affections, which primary among them is love. A Christian is someone whose heart has been invaded by the holy love of God. Popular understanding of love today is distorted. The idea of holiness is the farthest attribute such a love can possess. There is a kind of love that is immoral and lawless. This kind of love has no power to effect change for it is unholy.

This is not true in the case of God's love. His love is holy and the only kind of love that can change the human heart. As a response, God expects us to love Him with all of our hearts. Not 99.9%, but 100%. Would a woman accept a man's love of 99.9% and giving the remaining 0.1% to someone else? No woman in her right mind would accept that. The same thing with God. He expects us to love Him with all of our hearts. This means that God is not satisfied to remain on the periphery of our lives.

To illustrate God’s relationship with us, the Bible used marriage as a metaphor, which is the most intimate among human relationships. However, despite its intimacy, human marriage cannot capture the depths of the loving relationship between God and His people. This is why the apostle Paul describes the relationship between Christ and the church as “a profound mystery” (Ephesians 5:32). With such character of loving relationship between Christ and the church, living in holiness, faithfulness, and obedience isn’t oppressive and frightening, but an outcome of a grateful and a joyful heart.

The authors shared another story to illustrate the relationship between love and obedience. They used the metaphor of a distant boss to a lover:

Suppose a single woman starts working in a large company. She has not yet met her new boss. At one end of the office area, she sees a door with a bulletin board next to it. This is her boss’s office. He posts directions and rules for his employees on the bulletin board. What does she think of her boss and his bulletin board? Most likely, she has a sense of awe and possibly some fear about her boss. The rules on the board could, therefore, be looked upon with similar fear and possibly distaste. The rules intended to govern her behavior and maximize her performance might not inspire or motivate her, but she would follow them to avoid being fired. The rules themselves seem impersonal and cold (p. 172).

Now imagine that months later, the boss, a single man, develops a personal relationship with her. Eventually they marry. During that time, she notices that her perspective about the bulletin board changes to the same degree that her heart changes toward her new husband. She now sees the guidelines as wise and loving directions from someone who cares for her well-being. She no longer views them as burdensome. They are specific ways she can honor and please the husband who happens to be her boss. What has changed? Not the rules. The nature of her relationship and her attitude toward the rule giver have changed (pp. 172-173).

The same rules seen previously as frightening and burdensome are now received with gratitude and new appreciation because of the change in the nature of the relationship. The same thing is true in living the Christian life.

The Wayward Heart

Yesterday, Rev. Ernie Gloria summed up the current problems of the word in four “Misses:”

• Miscommunication

• Misinformation

• Misinterpretation, and

• Mistrust

For two weeks now, he has been doing a series on The Many Faces of Sin. Last Sunday, he shared about sin as a predator. Yesterday, he talked about misplaced trust based on Jeremiah 17:1-14. As I did my own preliminary exegetical study of the passage, I came up with the same central idea, but it can be restated differently, which will fit to our last topic in biblical counseling class.

Chapter 13 of How People Change has several paragraphs dealing with the role of the human heart in biblical change. The authors mentioned about the two great commandments (Mark 12:28-31), the selection of David (1 Samuel 16:1-13), the new covenant (Jeremiah 31:31-34; Ezekiel 36: 24-28), and the fulfillment of this promise in the New Testament (Ephesians 1:15-19). And then they conclude that our biggest problem is our wayward heart (p. 176). This is the reason why I see the relevance of inserting the Jeremiah 17 text in this study.

The prophet after identifying the wandering heart as Judah’s sin, he described that such a heart tends to harden and kindles a fire that burns forever (verses 1-4) and ends in barrenness (verses 5-8). The prophet further describes the wayward heart as deceitful, incurable, and mysterious (verses 9-11). All of these exegetical insights tell us that the cure to a wayward heart is beyond human capabilities. Wayward hearts can only find healing in the fountain of living water (verses 12-14).

Case Study

The purpose of this case study is to bring the biblical principles we learned from this course down to where we live in the real world. To aid us in this practical goal, we will utilize the letter of the apostle Paul to the saints in Philippi. Reading the letter and using seven questions, we will apply the four stages of biblical change: heat, thorns, cross, and fruit. Responding to the personal questions, we will include a hypothetical case for illustration.

Heat

1a. “What is Paul’s situation? What are Paul’s burdens, pressures, hardships, pains, and temptations, both actual and potential?” (p. 177).

Paul’s burdens, pressures, hardships, pains, and temptations, both actual and potential are as follows: Paul is in prison and is prevented from carrying out his mission in the way he does when he was still free; he is concerned about the possible negative impact of his imprisonment upon the churches; there are preachers that preach Christ out of envy, rivalry, and selfish ambition (1:15, 17; 2:3, 21); there are men who opposed the preaching of the gospel (1:28); possible existence of complaining and arguing in the church (2:14); sorrowful and anxious for the illness of Epaphroditus (2:26-30); the presence of “dogs” that bring trouble to the church (3:2); and disagreement between Euodia and Syntyche (4:2-3).

1b. “What is your situation? What hardships do you face right now?”

The hypothetical case is about a man, after close to two decades, there is still no closure in his marital relationship. His wife does not want to talk about it and her only concern is the future of their children. Living separately from her, pornography is a constant temptation. He suffered from depression and loneliness. He felt no one understands his situation, not even his closest friends. He thought his problem was too big to be solved. Though he firmly believes that God is the foundation of his life and that God is sovereign in his providence, when he was betrayed by his spouse, he was shaken to his core. He never thought that his worst nightmare would really happen to him. It was the farthest thing in his mind. His response to the problem made it harder even more. He was thinking that he married the wrong person. Literally, he found many passages in Psalm 88 that describe his situation, which one of them is considering “darkness” as his new friend now.

As a result, his children suffered too. The stress of parenting and providing for them became more difficult. In fact, one of his greatest fears is about the future of his children.

He also encountered colleagues who superficially judged his situation. He felt unseen and disrespected.

Thorns

2a. “What responses would you expect from people in difficult circumstances?” (ibid.).

If I were in the shoes of the apostle Paul, I would have been tempted either to be despondent or if there is a possibility, to run away.

2b. “What are your responses in difficult situations?” (ibid.).

At first, the man was over responsible. He owned his wife’s fault just to keep the family intact. When he realized that he could not change her mind, he got worried about the future of his children. Then later, it turned to anger, but he was still thinking of his wife’s safety. He was afraid that there would come a time that he could no longer control himself and harm her. And so, to protect his wife and his children from his potential loss of self-control, he decided to bring her back to his in-laws. After a few months, the anger turned into self-pity.

After 4 years, his wound started to heal. That’s the time, he went to work abroad to provide for his children. After staying abroad for 4 years, he returned and lived with his family, observing his wife for a year. When he realized that nothing changed, he decided to redirect his attention to something constructive, to work for the future of his children. But still, there are times that the past is flashing back. Thinking that it will help in his recovery, he wanted to talk about the status of their relationship with his wife, but she didn’t like it.

Reflected on the list of typical ways people respond to life, the so-called “thorn bush responses,” he observed that he did all of them. He avoided talking to her and wanted to find an escape by watching movies, pornography, and overtrading. He exaggerated his problem. Betrayal became his identity. He became suspicious of people and too cautious in the way he relates. He promised himself that nobody will ever hurt him again.

3a. What cravings and beliefs tend to rule the human heart and produce ungodly reactions?

In the case of the apostle Paul, he encountered selfish ambition (1:17; 2:3, 21; 3:19), self-righteousness (3:1-7), and anxiety (2:28; 4:6, 12).

3b. What cravings and beliefs rule your heart?

During the early stage of the problem, when he was away from his wife or she was away from home, he felt like he was dying and he would prefer to just lie down, thinking that she might not return home. Surprisingly, whenever he saw her back home, his strength returned. But as years passed by, his feeling reversed. Whenever he saw her, he felt like he was in an intensive care unit; there was a pain he could not explain. For him to survive, he tried avoiding seeing her. His response to his trial was fear-driven and emotion-based. She’s like the sun that his life revolves around.

His emotion became more stable when he started to shift focus from his wife to the future of his children. Financial security became very important to him. He studied economics and stock trading and they are now where his mind drifts instinctively. He loves to talk about them. He began to see himself as a Christian activist. As for his restlessness due to long years of living a sexless life, he usually finds rest in pornography and masturbation, watching anime, reading, playing basketball, and overtrading.

4a. What consequences follow sinful reactions?

In the case of the Philippians, they were threatened by vicious circles of envy and rivalry (1:15-18) and personal destruction and eternal punishment (3:18-19).

4b. What consequences do you face after sinful actions?

Due to his sinful responses, his problem became more complicated. Self-pity turned to bitterness. Though he thought he’s forgiven her, the fact that he kept repeating the matter either to her or to somebody else shows that he is still living in the past.

Cross

5a. What changes lives, inside and out? What rules the heart and produces godly responses?

In the case of the Philippians, the available spiritual resources are so rich: grace and peace through Christ (1:2); the reality of having a faithful and sovereign God (1:6-2:13); the Holy Spirit (1:19); confidence in the resurrected Christ (1:20-21); Christ’s humble service for his people (2:1-1); identifying with Christ’s sufferings (2:1-8; 3:10-11); trusting in the exalted Christ (2:9-11, 16); resting in the work of Christ (3:1-9); Christ’s secure hold on life (3:12-14); Christ’s return and promised transformation (3:20-21); the example of others (1:1, 5, 14, 25; 2:19; 3:17; 4:10, 18); others’ prayers (1:9, 19); God’s ability to change people (2:12-13); true worship of God (4:4-7), and; meditating on the truth (4:8-9).

5b. What changes your life? What rules your heart?

His wife was the person that ruled his heart. Other idols in his heart include fear, emotion, his children, financial security, trading, sex, recreation, books, his struggle or his pain, activism, his righteousness, and his sacrifice. All these idols ultimately bow down to the supreme idol, himself. Nobody can rescue him from this powerful idol and its subjects except Jesus. Jesus alone can drive out fear. He is faithful, he never changes and His words are trustworthy. He can rely on him. They are the resources Christ has given him to defeat the demon of his emotion. All power in heaven and on earth has been given to Jesus. God knows the future of his kids. God is his Provider. He needs not trust his own efforts and plans. God knows his needs. He is holy and He requires His children to be holy like Him and He himself will provide the strength moment-by-moment to walk the path of holiness. Only in Jesus, he can find true rest. He can’t defend on the amount of knowledge he has. They are worthless apart from Christ. And most of all his idols are his righteousness and sacrifice. They became greater gods than what Christ did on the cross. They became deceitful replacements for the power of the cross. Only Jesus can rescue him from himself.

Fruit

6a. What specific good Fruit do you observe?

In the case of the apostle Paul, his response to the heat in his life are as follows: love and prayer for others (1:3-11); concern for Christ’s reputation, not his own (1:12-13, 15-18); thanksgiving (1:3); courage (1:6, 12, 19-26; 2:9-11; 313, 20-21); encouragement, comfort, and fellowship with Christ and the Spirit (2:10); humility, tenderness, and compassion (2:2-4); pursuit of holiness amid difficulty (2:12-18); contentment, not acting like a victim, though he has been flagrantly sinned against (4:11-12), and; godly emotions in struggle (2:19-30).

6b. What specific good Fruit do you observe in your life?

He needs to pray for his wife. He also needs to thank God for the trial for there is no other way to drive him away from his comfort zone and bring me back to Christ. He also needs not be afraid to see his wife. He must return to his disciplined personal devotion. He must rely on the blood of Christ and the power of the Spirit to live in holiness no matter what. He must find his satisfaction in Him and stop thinking like a victim. And in the midst of his struggle, he should not allow himself to be distracted from the focus of his life, none other than his Redeemer, Jesus Christ, our Lord.

7a. What good effects result from the way Paul handled his situation?

As for the apostle Paul’s situation, his Christ-like response to the heat of his life produced zeal for the evangelization of the people (1:13), Christians are encouraged to be bold (1:14) and to pray (1:19).

7b. What good effects result from the way you handle your situation?

He now has peace of mind. Their family devotion has been restored. He is now willing to wait for the response of his wife to his proposal to start anew. Whether she will return to him or not, he just entrusts his life to the One wiser than him. He knows the best for his wife. He is praying that God will grant his wife repentance and experience the abundant grace of God in her own life. Moreover, he now sees his situation from a different perspective. He realizes that both people around him and himself respond to the heat of life due to what is in their hearts. As a result, instead of responding with thorns, he now sees opportunities for prayer. He sees people around him facing similar struggles that need the same grace that he received in Christ. Life now does not mean that it will become easier. The fact is Christ calls him to stop responding in sinful ways toward people that irritates him before.

Grace and peace!