The law, by exposing our sinfulness, directs us to the Redeemer; this is the central message of Rev. Sang Ho Bae's exposition of Matthew 5:21-28. This time, his focus is on the sanctity of marriage.

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Marriage is the first institution established by God, a deep and mysterious covenantal union between a man and a woman. Scripture declares,

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh (Gen 2:24).

This expression, “one flesh,” is not a mere metaphor but signifies an actual union in which the two are joined in their whole personhood and share one destiny. Before marriage, the two had no connection to each other, yet they became closer than parents, bearing together each other’s joys and sorrows and strengths and weaknesses and becoming companions who walk together on the journey of life. The New Testament reveals this mystery even more deeply, and the apostle Paul says, "This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church” (Eph 5:32), presenting the union of husband and wife as the model of the covenantal love between Christ and the church. Therefore, marriage is not a mere social institution but a holy covenant community that reveals the character of the kingdom of God and a sacred union in which God Himself is the witness.

Marriage in Crisis

Today this covenantal relationship is facing a serious crisis. Worldwide, divorce rates are increasing, the meaning of marriage is weakening, and we have entered an age in which marital relationships are easily destroyed. People present various reasons such as personality differences, economic problems, and family conflicts. However, marriage is not a contract that can be arbitrarily severed according to human emotions or convenience but a covenantal union joined by God. As the Reformed theologian John Murray said, marriage is “a covenantal institution established by God Himself and a sacred bond that cannot be dissolved by human will.”

Divorce and Remarriage

Scripture permits divorce only in extremely limited cases. Jesus said, “Whoever divorces his wife except for the reason of sexual immorality commits adultery” (Matt 19:9), revealing that sexual immorality is an act that essentially destroys the marriage covenant. But Jesus’ intention is not to find conditions for divorce but to preserve the holiness of marriage. Historically, the church has permitted divorce and remarriage only in extremely limited circumstances—such as death, clear covenant breaking, sexual immorality, or the impossibility of reconciliation. This served as a safeguard to protect the sacredness of the covenant the couple made before God. Marriage is not a mere institution or contract but a covenant in which God Himself is the witness, and because of this, the covenant is a holy bond that cannot be easily broken by human emotions or circumstances.

Mutual Responsibility

The fact that husband and wife are different is not a weakness of marriage but a strength intended by God. Man and woman possess physical, emotional, and temperamental differences, and these differences are designed to complement one another. Bavinck said, “Man and woman were created to fill each other’s lack, and their differences are an expression of God’s wisdom.” Just as a fish must live in water, a man as a man and a woman as a woman are most natural and blessed when they live within the identity and roles given by God. The roles Scripture presents within the home are not a structure of superiority and inferiority but a structure of mutual responsibility. The husband is not a being who dominates his wife but must love and protect her sacrificially, “just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Eph 5:25). The wife must build the home together by respecting and cooperating with her husband. This is not oppression but the order God established and the path to peace and happiness in the home. Biblical order is not a structure of power but a structure of love, and at its center is the gospel spirit that builds and gives life to one another.

Ethics of God's Kingdom

The marital relationship is the most practical field for practicing the ethics of the kingdom of God. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus taught the character of the kingdom of God—reconciliation, forgiveness, purity, truthfulness, service, humility, and love. This teaching must be applied first to the couple. Husband and wife are the closest neighbors to each other, the ones who must reconcile first, and the ones who must forgive most deeply. Married life is the place where each other’s weaknesses are revealed the most, and therefore it cannot continue without forgiveness. The seventy-times-seven forgiveness Jesus taught is the most realistic command for couples. Also, purity of body and mind is the foundation for keeping marital fidelity, and the Golden Rule, “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you” (Matt 7:12), must be practiced first in the daily life of the couple. Marriage is a place where weaknesses are revealed but at the same time a place of grace where each one is built up in holiness. As John Piper said, “Marriage is for holiness before it is for happiness.”

Purpose of Marriage

The purpose of marriage is not merely the fulfillment of sexual desire or the bearing of children. Marriage is a covenant community for the glory of God, and husband and wife are partners who build one another up in holiness. When a couple honors one another, faithfully keeps the covenant made before God, and embodies the character of God’s kingdom within their home, that household becomes a lamp that shines God’s glory in the world. Marriage is a gift from God and, at the same time, a holy journey in which husband and wife live out the values of God’s kingdom together.

Personal Response and Reflection of Rev. Angelito Carillo

Reading this devotional reminds me that marriage is far more sacred and serious than our culture often admits. It is not built on feelings that rise and fall but on a covenant witnessed by God Himself. Jesus’ words about divorce confront me with the truth that God’s heart is not to look for exits but to protect what He has joined together. Marriage calls for reverence, patience, and faithfulness, even when it is difficult. I am also struck by the beauty of God’s design in our differences. What I often see as a source of conflict, different temperaments, ways of thinking, and emotional needs are actually meant to be a gift. Marriage is not about competing or controlling but about loving sacrificially and building one another up. When love is patterned after Christ’s love for the church, authority becomes service and submission becomes cooperation, both rooted in grace.

Finally, this passage challenges me to see marriage as the closest and most demanding place to live out the gospel. Forgiveness, humility, purity, and love are not abstract virtues; they are daily practices, especially toward the person closest to me. Marriage exposes weaknesses, but it also becomes a school of holiness. As this reflection reminds me, marriage is not primarily about happiness but about becoming holy together, and in that holiness, God’s glory is made visible in an ordinary home.

Personal Response from Elder Leo

Maraming salamat po, Pas, sa napakagandang mensahe. Talagang nakaka-encourage at nakakatulong para mas magpatuloy tayong lahat sa paglilingkod sa Panginoon. Totoo po, hindi man madali ang daan, pero ang biyaya ng Diyos ay laging sapat. Habang tayo ay lumalakad sa pananampalataya, Siya ang nagbibigay ng lakas, karunungan, at katatagan.

Salamat po sa paalala na patuloy tayo sa pag-aaral ng Kanyang salita, sa pananalangin, at sa pagsuporta sa isa’t isa. Sa Panginoon may pag-asa, may direksyon, at may katuparan ng Kanyang mga pangako. Hindi Niya tayo iiwan at hindi Niya tayo pababayaan. Kaya habaan natin ang pasensya, palalimin ang pananampalataya, at ipagpatuloy ang ministry na ipinagkaloob Niya sa atin.

Check out the One Heart, One Promise, a love song version of this article generated by AI here.