My job and my relationship

"I think I'm being followed; I am tired of Mike's lack of trust in me. If you love someone, you should be able to respect the person's words and preferences. I am tired of all these. Why is Mike stalking me? Is he that unsecured in this relationship? I asked Joy.

Joy had noticed my mood in the past few weeks. Having known each other and been together since childhood, our bond of friendship was amazingly strong. She has been aware of my relationship with Mike since day one. She came to talk to me once again, like she had done several times in the past. All about my misunderstanding with Mike.

"Can't you lock up your WhatsApp conversation before giving him the phone? Or having the files in a folder and protecting them with a password. How about storing this information in an external storage device so that you can allow Mike to have access to your phone? I mean, can't you just find a way to address this issue to the satisfaction of both of you?" Joy responded.

"All these options that you gave won't work. If I give Mike access to my phone once, then it would have to happen again and again. This is not safe for this investigation. This phone is an official phone, for God sake. Why is Mike so fixated on getting access to it?"

"If my fiance refused me access to his phone, that implies that he is hiding something from me. I can't marry a man who is keeping secrets from me. I believe Mike has a similar belief. You can't convince him otherwise. He would definitely believe that you are hiding the phone from him because of some affairs that you don't want him to know about. What if he thinks that you are having another boyfriend? To keep fidelity, you have to be transparent in your dealings."

"I get pissed off when no one around me seems to understand my plight. Better to be alone than to have uninspiring people around me. Can you take your leave?" I walked to the door and held it open to show Joy way out of my house.

"Are you sending me out of your house?" Joy stood up and asked me.

"I just need private time, please." I laid my face on my pillow and soaked it with my tears. A few minutes later, I heard the sound of the door. Joy had left the room finally.

I wasn't angry with Joy for no reason. She knew where the shoe I wore pinches, but she decided to add salt to my injuries.

---

The relationship between Mike and me started smoothly. The love between us was enviable.

"I love you and your job. I will support you in whatever way I can to help you rise to the peak of your career. Whatever makes you happy is an obligation for me to do," Mike penned down these lovely lines during my birthday that was marked a few months ago.

He had taken me out for an all-expenses-paid trip to Yankari Games Reserve.

"I love you too. I will always love, respect, and have trust in you," I replied to him while I planted a kiss on his lips.

---

It is unfortunate that Mike is not keeping to his words just a few months later. He suddenly requested that I give him access to my official phone.

"You know we promised never to keep secrets away from each other."

I nodded my head in response. I knew the next sentence to follow wouldn't be a welcoming one.

"I think it is time we have unfettered access to each other's phones. Don't hide anything from me, and I won't hide anything from you too," he concluded.

"I swore to an official oath to keep confidential matters away from anyone unauthorized to access them. My official phone is a confidential tool. I can't allow you access to it."

"Your boyfriends are chatting with you through that phone. Stop lying to me," Mike came straightforward with an allegation.

I was short of response. Silence enveloped my being.

"Won't you talk?" Mike asked me.

I was too angry and disappointed to say anything. He walked out on me after trying his best to let me respond to no avail.

---

Since that day, Mike has been trailing my movement.

"What did you go to do at the Billy Hotel?" I received a text message from him the previous night. I nearly broke down mentally. An investigation took my team to the said hotel to interview some staff with respect to a criminal case that I was investigating.

"I don't owe you any explanation," I replied to his message.

I displayed strength in letting go of the love I had for Mike, but internally, it was eating me up. How will I go against the ethics of my job and allow Mike to have access to my official phone? A phone that contained information about a robbery case in which Stephen, Mike's friend, was mentioned. Even if I am not investigating a case involving someone close to me, I can't still compromise my job by letting Mike have access to my phone. That's not part of my training as a secret police personnel, I told myself.

The only person that I called a friend and expected to understand me refused to view the issue from my perspective.

Since Joy left my room, we didn't talk for another 24 hours. I sat and reflected on what transpired between us, and I felt that I had reacted harshly to Joy the previous day. I picked up my phone and put a call across to her.

"I am sorry for the way I reacted to you yesterday," I apologized to Joy. "I need your support to handle this situation."

"I felt guilty throughout the night. My response to what you told me yesterday was somehow reckless to your feelings. I am sorry," Joy tendered her apology too.

"My advice for you is to call Mike and explain to him once again what your job entails. Ask him if he is ready to cope with your lifestyle as a secret police officer. The journey of marriage is too long for you to start it with drama."

I heeded the advice of Joy by scheduling a meeting with Mike.

Without allowing me to say all that I had in mind, Mike put it up to me directly to choose between my job and our relationship.

"I can't sacrifice my job for the ego of a man," I told myself.

I chose my job and freed myself from unnecessary accusations of infidelity.

"I am free from being followed at last," I told Joy the following day. "Right now, I don't want anything like a relationship. I wish to concentrate on my job."b