Doctor's Orders

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"These guys and their impossible concepts" I say to my cousin who's seated just across the dining table from me as we watch a drug company advertise one of their new products on the TV.

"How does one see food, especially chicken and say he doesn't have an appetite" he replies, as we both laugh in unison.

It was the weekend and after a fun yet stressful week at work, we both were enjoying each other's company as we'd barely seen each other all week. The conversation soon expanded into more fun discussion.

'Ahh doctor, I think I'm running a bit of temperature here" I say

"Hmmm" he replies in a serious tone "Your symptoms and complains from your previous medical history, show a sever sign of chickenomiasis"

"Oh my God doc, not chickenomiasis please" I clutch my chest in fear. "Err doc, what exactly is chickenomiasis?"

"Well, it's a condition where there is severe shortage of chicken in your body system. he answers. "But be rest assured, the condition is quite easy to cure"

"Thank you doc" I answer

"Unfortunately sir, I'll have to place you on a heavy diet of chicken wings" he continues "You'll have to eat at least one chicken wing morning, afternoon and night for a month straight"

"Also keep in mind, failure to complete your daily regimen would require you to start the whole diet from the beginning once again" he adds

I give my best distraught look as I finally say in submission "Anything you say doc"

"You're both mental" my friend Sam says from the door where he'd been standing watching the whole charade.

We all laugh as my cousin and I explained to my friend, the commercial we'd just seen on TV. It portrayed a man who was running a bit of temperature and his wife serves him a meal which he declined under the guise of no appetite. It was a meal of pounded yam and a plate of stew containing assorted chicken parts. Immediately his wife whips outs the miracle drug though, he takes one tablet and immediately his temperature disappears an he's able to eat.

We all declare that no man could ever refuse such a tempting offer of food and not fall big time, regardless of whether he's feeling good or not.

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Thunder rumbles in the distance, accompanied by a flash of lightening and no matter the prayer I said to the heavens, there are no buses in sight.

It had been a draining day at work and somehow the sky chose a Friday evening to pour down it's contents. The rain had started a few minutes already, but it was not as heavy as it could be considering the thunderstorms in the distance. I'd been waiting at the bus stop for about ten minutes, hoping to get a bus that would get me if not home, then at least not too far from home.

On some other day when I would've been tucked in my bed, I would've welcomed the cool breeze that came with the rainfall. But outside and at the mercy of the elements, I was already shivering a bit and my clothes were fast getting wet.

I was still standing and hoping, when finally there is a bus in sight. I thanked the heavens and started another prayer in anticipation of phase two. It was obvious that the number of people waiting for a bus were more than the available seats in the bus. The bus soon stops and after a bit of rush, I finally got a seat at the edge of the doorway. It wouldn't have been my ideal choice of seat considering the present weather, but I was in no way going to complain.

Two minutes later, I was already regretting my decision though. My seat was in no way different from walking in the rain, and it also meant I had the full breeze treatment. I was soon drenched and cold, but from previous experience I knew the driver couldn't and wouldn't do anything to at least minimize the problem. It was a keep mum until you get home situation.

I eventually got home, tired, stressed out and cold, I went to sleep. The next morning though, I woke with a temperature and was feeling feverish. My cousin had been lucky as he'd escaped the rain and gotten home much earlier than I did, so he was feeling okay and had the honourable task of taking care of me.

My cousin Muaz goes out to get us breakfast at the nearest chicken republic and some drugs while I shiver away at home. Upon his arrival, what should've been a tantalizing aroma suddenly made me nauseous, but I couldn't even vomit because I'd eaten nothing to bed the previous night.

I watched sullenly as Muaz and Sam who'd come visiting sat down and devoured the plates of jollof rice and chicken, while I had to settle for something else in order to be able to use my drug. I eventually settled for bread and warm milk and after my breakfast, I reached out for the drug Muaz bought, and I notice it was familiar and immediately remembered it was the same from the commercial a few months prior.

"Hey bro, do you remember this particular drug." I say to my cousin Muaz, but seeing the lost look on his face. "You know, the one with the chicken advertisement and no appetite"

"Ahhh, the chickenomiasis one" he replies, finally in recognition "It looks like you'll be needing a new diagnosis dear sir"

I shake my head almost regretting why I'd mentioned the drug, knowing what mischief both of them were capable of.

"Mr Man, it looks like you have a case of chicken phobia this time around. I would recommend a withdrawal from all things chicken related and also make sure to buy and gift your lovely cousin from time to time"

"Yeah, your cousin and friend Mr Sam seem to need the chicken more than you do" Sam adds, as they both burst in laughter.

Knowing there would be no end to the banter, I take my drugs and head to the room to catch up on some more sleep, when Muaz holds my hand.
"Not so fast sir, remember those are doctor orders and you shouldn't take them with levity." he says in mock seriousness.

I try to laugh and hiss at the same time, but it comes out as a choking cough instead. I grab the drug and a cup of water and head into the bed room. I sleep for a few hours after and wake up with the fever gone and feeling much better. I decided to stay in bed instead of going out and hearing another version of their chicken jokes.

I had experienced first hand how even your favorite food might disgust you whenever you fall sick and could now appreciate the idea behind the advertisement.