Maturity in restraint

Growth is important; it's one of those things that shows us that we're heading towards the right direction, and it can go on to give us a boost and confidence to chase the next desire or the bigger goal. Growth can also sometimes be funny, depending on how you look at it. Take, for instance, that not all growth is noticeable until something plays out, maybe in conversation, decision, or even silence, and the reason for this isn't far-fetched: that's because growth sometimes does tap your shoulder to inform you you're becoming a better version of yourself. I've found myself in such a situation, and today I'd love to run through it with you.

A couple of weeks ago I found myself in a situation where someone was trying to push my buttons. In the past I would have taken the bait and acted rationally by trying to defend myself and raising my voice so I could win the conversation because I had the belief that making my voice as loud as possible and standing my ground was a step towards getting the other person to understand me regardless of how long it takes. I just want to always assert my dominance and not give in to anyone trying to play on my intelligence or take me for a fool.

It's like I've built a shield around myself to not let anyone win a conversation against me regardless of the topic or their intent, but on this particular day something different plays out that gets me in awe and at a realization that in one way or another I've experienced growth, and it's towards the right direction in making me a better version of who I used to be. Back then friends and colleagues tended to avoid getting tangled in a conversation with me because they could easily predict how it'd end. I was on several occasions tainted with it, but it never made me back down, even though I can't help but admit the fact that I'm not always right.

To cut the long story short, on this particular day a friend approached me and spoke with a visible volume of frustration and anger, but unlike my usual self that tries to match their energy, instead I held my peace and listened carefully. Surprisingly, I wasn't raised to anger by every word I heard, and when it was my turn to speak, I chose my words carefully, without raising my voice and from the place of deep understanding, and by the time I was done, the person I spoke to was as surprised as I was, because that's probably the first time I responded to such accusations in such a calm manner.

By the time we were done with the conversation, I can't help but notice I've changed, in the right direction, because only before I realised I'm not that person who's easily triggered anymore, I guess life experience has taught me that not all disagreement have to needs to become a battle, neither do every attack needs a counter attack, I came to understand that peace of mind is actually more important than proving a point and that's a sign of growth I didn't notice when it takes shape, but still proud of.

Growth isn't always about the physical, like academics, finance, and the like, and it's good to know that after that experience I came to realize that I've grown emotionally, being able to handle my anger and temperament, and in light of that, gain a new kind of strength, which is the ability to control myself, especially in situations I tended to lose it in in the past.

At the end of the day, growth isn't always about doing more; sometimes it's about doing less, such as reacting less, proving less, talking less, and defending less, overall channeling the focus on protecting my peace. And I'm ready to ride on the wing of this in reshaping my life, igniting the spark, and becoming a better version of myself in every aspect.

_{All photos are taken and edited on canva application photo library}