Maybe Peace Of Mind Is The Real Achievement.

Something I have been thinking about a lot recently is if marriage is really an achievement, because you know, the way people talk about it like it is the highest point of someone life , especially for women, it just makes me pause sometimes and wonder if that is truly how it should be, because honestly, looking at the world around me right now, it doesn’t seem like that achievement is bringing people peace the way it is supposed to.

See this past year has been really challenging for me, and in between all that, I have had time to observe quiet a lot people, relationships, marriages,and I have seen couples who started out so in love, posting their happy moments online, always smiling like they had everything figured out, but then, a few months or even years down the line, that same love turns sour, arguments, disrespect, and in some cases, pure violence ,I just keep asking myself, why?

See just recently, I read a news from a friend's WhatsApp status, and to be honest it really shook me, a newly woman burnt her husband alive, yes o, you read that right , all because of an argument, and the most painful part is that they were only five months into their marriage, see just five months, and that is even barely enough time to even adjust to each other properly, but somehow things already escalated that far, see ehn it is stories like this that make me question everything infact, Why do people rush into marriage when they are not even emotionally ready for what comes with it?

And sometimes, I think people hold on to marriage because of how society has painted it, Like if you are not married by a certain age, then something must be wrong with you, so people just rush in, not because they have found peace or understanding with someone, but because they want to prove something to family, friends, or society at large and that is so wrong , and you know deep down, they know it that it doesn't really worth it?

For me, I just feel that marriage should not be seen as an achievement in any way, It should be a choice made with full awareness, patience, and confirm readiness , mentally, emotionally, and financially, because the truth is, once you step into it, you are not just living for yourself anymore, see everything you do affects someone else, and if kids come into the picture, they end up witnessing all that tension, pain, and bitterness , and know that that is how another generation of brokenness starts again.

Sometimes I just sit and think , maybe this marriage was never even meant to be this difficult, maybe people just now forgot the real meaning of love, patience, and compromise, now it is more about who has the better wedding photos or who married first, omo.... People don’t talk about how they will handle disagreement, how to communicate when things get hard, or how to remain friends even after the spark fades.

Me I am at a stage in my life where I am no longer in a hurry, and I don’t even see marriage as something to rush into in any way, see I would rather be alone and be at peace than to be tied to someone who brings me more pain than joy, because I have seen too much, and I have learnt that being married doesn’t automatically mean you will be happy.

So no, I don’t think marriage is an achievement, instead I see it as a journey , one that requires very deep understanding, maturity, and a lot of grace, but until two people are truly ready to walk that path with honesty and patience, I think it is better to just stay single and keep growing yourself.

See know this, sometimes ones peace of mind is the real achievement ,and I will always choose that over a marriage filled with violence and plenty pain.

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