THESE PART OF ME

We have heard a lot of people tell us to be ourselves and never let what others think about us, make us look down on ourselves and so many words to motivate us to carry ourselves in high esteem. Personally, I have had people tell me that I’m not what people tell me that I am or what I think that I am especially when those thoughts are tending towards anything negative but the truth is, that won’t change who I am, will it? For me, the answer is no. It won’t change it from bad to good, instead it will only become worse.

Thinking about that alone scares me. Why? Because all my life, I have always strived to do better. Be better. I know I’m not the best of myself yet and that’s how it will remain until the day I die. I know I have to keep learning everyday and that means I become the best of me with every passing day. So running away from the truth about the ugly side of me won’t change anything. So today, I’m going to attempt to be as honest as I can to tell myself and whoever ends up reading this, who I am right now that I don’t want to be.

Most times, when people ask me this question “Who are you?”, I notice how unsure I always feel but hopefully if I succeed in being honest in this post, I might just be able to know what and what I need to work on to become better. First, I’ll like to start with the negative aspects because those are the qualities that makes me endangered.

I can be really annoying sometimes. I know how to give that silent treatment. It just happens anytime that I feel like I’m not being heard or people just seem to misunderstand everything I do. Or maybe when I’m going through a bad time. I prefer to just listen and not respond at this point or just stay on my own but this always makes people find me annoying and sometimes I even find myself annoying too when it happens.

I’m a blunt person sometimes. I can just go on to say whatever is on my mind not caring anymore what people might think. At this point, usually I’m not in a great mood and I find it hard to say things the best way even though they are true. I lack empathy for how my words might make the next person feel. It’s only when I have said whatever is in my mind before I realize that I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have just overlooked or maybe say it in a better way. This particular one makes me feel like a coward because I only make the mistake first before I learn.

I’m proud. I most times like people to ask me for help first before I try to help even when I know they might be in need of my help. I think this is not good because deep down, I know what to do but I still fail to do it.

I’m a judge. Not many people have told me this but the fact that few persons have said that I judge people, it makes it true. I don’t enjoy it and that’s for certain. Most times I don’t intend to judge them but as long as I try to correct them, I always end up tilting towards pointing fingers at them and that makes me a judge. I’m not happy about it and those people too aren’t. I wonder why I struggle to just mind my business sometimes.

There are many other things that I am that are not good but these are the few ones I can remember now. As for the good qualities, I’ll leave that for next time. But please feel free to add to this list of things I have noticed that are the negative qualities that I have. Or if you agree with anyone, please also say so and leave your advice for me.

Thank you for reading through. ❤️