When to Be Generous, When to Be Selfish

When I think about whether I am generous or selfish, I honestly believe I fall somewhere in between. The truth is, I can be generous in some situations and selfish in others, depending on how I feel about the person or the circumstances. I don’t think anyone is completely one way all the time, and I’ve come to realize that balance is important.

Naturally, I love helping people when they are in need. There’s a kind of joy I get when I know that I’ve made someone’s day easier, whether it’s by giving them something, supporting them emotionally, or simply being there for them. But at the same time, I’m not the type to keep giving endlessly when I notice that the same energy isn’t being reciprocated. To me, generosity should not be one-sided—it should be built on mutual respect and consideration.

I have a particular friend who taught me this lesson the hard way. This friend loves to collect from people. Whenever he’s in need, he will quickly reach out and expect others to support him. And to be fair, I helped him several times because that’s just the kind of person I am—I don’t like to see people stranded when I know I can do something about it. But what made things complicated was that anytime it was his turn to be generous, he would always come up with excuses. He was never ready to give, and whenever you refused to help, he would start complaining or showing attitude.

At first, I overlooked it and continued helping him, but with time, I realized that it was draining me. I started asking myself: Why should I keep being generous to someone who doesn’t value me enough to return the favour when I need it? That was when I began to pull back and, in a way, became selfish toward him. If he should ask me for something, i would just say i don't have or probably just say i don't much on me. And to be honest, I don’t regret that decision because it taught me an important life lesson—generosity without boundaries can make people take advantage of you.

Now, beyond material things, I also see myself as both generous and selfish with my time. Time, to me, is very precious, and I don’t just give it to anyone. I prefer to spend it with people who are genuine and who appreciate my presence. With that same friend, I eventually decided to stop spending my time with him because I realized he didn’t deserve it. It might sound selfish, but to me, it’s self-respect.

So, in the end, I would say I am both generous and selfish. I give when I know it is appreciated, and I withhold when I see someone is only taking advantage. It’s about balance—being kind but also valuing myself enough not to be used.

Thanks for reading.