When I first got this question, I had to really sit down and think things through. I couldnāt just say Iām fully optimistic or completely pessimistic because, honestly, Iāve been both at different points in my life, depending on the situation. Life has taught me that your mindset can shift based on experiences, the people around you, and even how youāre feeling at the moment.
There was a time during my first year in the university that I failed a course. I can never forget that experience. I had already gone home for the holidays when the result came out. I opened my school portal and saw that I had failedāit was such a heartbreaking moment. That was actually my first ever university exam, and seeing that āFā just crushed my spirit. I felt so down, almost like I wasnāt good enough. And to make matters worse, I didnāt even know how to tell my mum. I was scared she would be disappointed or angry.
But I eventually gathered the courage to tell her, and to my surprise, she didnāt insult me or make me feel worse. Instead, she just told me to look for a way to pass the course next time and that I shouldāve prepared better. Those simple words really stayed with me and even gave me hope. So I then decided to carry the course over, and the following year, I sat for it again with my juniorsāand this time, I passed with a B. That moment showed me the optimistic side of myself: I may fall, but I donāt stay down for long.
But then again, Iāve also seen my pessimistic side show up, especially when Iām dealing with things that seem tough from the start. A good example of this happened recently during my I.T. defence presentation. Each of us was asked to come out, one after the other, and explain what we learned during our trainingāboth in crop and animal production. I was specifically told to talk about the vegetables we planted, which were African spinach and Ewedu.
I happened to be one of the last people to present out of 13 students, so I had already watched several of my classmates go before me. What made me uneasy was that while others were presenting, some of the lecturers were laughing and making jokes, especially when someone didnāt express themselves well or made small mistakes. That alone put fear in me. Before I was even called to speak, I had already convinced myself that I was going to mess up or be laughed at too. That negative mindset really affected my confidence.
So when it was finally my turn, I stood up and did my best, but then the fear had already gotten the better of me. I wasnāt as bold or clear as I wanted to be. In fact, one of my teachers ended up criticising me for not being confident enough, and unfortunately, it cost me some marks.
And then thereās the emotional side of things. I once got a girlās number through her friend. Even though I knew there was a chance she might not be interested, I still texted her. We had great conversationsāuntil she asked me for a picture. Now, because Iāve been rejected a few times in the past after sending my picture, I started thinking negatively again. I was sure she would stop talking to me after seeing it. And sadly, thatās exactly what happened. After I sent the picture, the vibe just changed. I didnāt even bother chasing anymore because my pessimism had already convinced me it was over. I think that kind of fear has made me avoid approaching girls for some time now. I normally overthink and ask myself, āWhat if she doesnāt find me attractive?ā or āWhat if she thinks Iām not good enough or not rich enough?ā
So yes, I do believe Iām both optimistic and pessimisticājust in different ways. I think my optimism helps me fight through tough academic and life challenges, but when it comes to things like relationships or self-image, my pessimism tends to creep in, probably because of past experiences and the pressure society puts on how someone should look or what they should have.
At the end of the day, Iām learning to balance both sides and not let the pessimism stop me from trying. Itās a journey, but then i believe Iām getting there.
Thanks for reading.
Nice write up. I think itās one thing to know what kind of person you are while itās another to know the variables.
The girl situation is interesting because sometimes that pessimism helps in the sense that when you say āsheād most likely say noā it reduces your expectations and at the end of the day, it can work in your favour. I am not like that, Iām usually over optimistic about things like this which sometimes blows back on my face.
Finding the right balance might be the secret but like you said and I agree, donāt let me pessimism stop you from trying.
That's it. Sometimes, being pessimistic can actually help because it stops you from getting surprised or shocked wheneve people do certain things or show certain behaviours because you are already expecting them to do the worst already. But then it is not always good at the same time. I love the fact that you are overly optimistic. Thanks for stopping by, bro š
I am optimistic in the example you gave not every other part lol
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Thank you so much.
You're very welcome š»šš»
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Thank you for your continues support of the weekend-engagement topics and for putting in some effort with your posts.
Wow, i wasn't expecting this. Thank you for all you have done for me as well.