RE: I Am A Slave To Debt!

Hello @carlynn. I hurt for you. I hurt because I have been in the same situation you are in now. Family IF you let them, will let you shoulder all responsibility while they sometimes back away. They do this KNOWING you are a responsible and caring person. It's sad to see and be a part of this. I KNOW. For too many years, I allowed (yes you allow it) my family to place responsibilities on me that should have been shared equally. I'm the one who ended up with debt piled high above my head, drowning in my sorrow. The problem: SAYING "NO".

When I learned to say no, I discovered others' problems miraculously solved themselves without my full load. This is what I did, and it may not work for everyone, but I've felt better for quite many years now:

1. STEP BACK. Paid my portion only. Stopped allowing others to make me feel guilty for not shouldering the entire responsibility. There will be criticism, back-stabbing, and God knows what else you will hear. IGNORE IT ALL. Pray and know that you've done your part.

2. DIG YOURSELF OUT FROM UNDER THE PILE. Slowly it happened. It took me 10 years to erase $100,000 worth of debt. YES, a staggering amount that went primarily to others helping them out. It's so easy to accumulate: 10 credit cards with $10K/each credit limit. Been there. And it feels like hell putting it down on paper. I did the following:
   a) created a chart, listing all debt and amounts to be paid.
   b) called creditors and arranged new payment terms.
   c) don't skip payments. As long as you pay a small amount on it, you are doing OK. Just don't skip payments or ignore the debt. I would write a check for $5.00 to pay on a debt.
   d) paid minimum amounts until I could pay more; or paid the interest only so debt wouldn't increase.

3. FELT BETTER SEEING SMALL RESULTS EACH YEAR. Don't concentrate on the total amount of debt. Concentrate on your efforts to meet your obligations and feel good that you are responsible.

4. LOOK AT BIGGER PICTURE AND OTHER OPTIONS. Some people simply file personal bankruptcy as a way to force creditors to give you a chance. This is not an option for everyone. Numerous criteria should be considered. How you go about it takes financial advice from a trusted and professional financial advisor.
   a) I didn't go that route. I dealt with it myself. My motto: I got myself into it, and I'll get myself out. Just letting you know this was an option that was pointed out to me.

5. IF NO CURRENT OFFLINE EMPLOYMENT, then:

a) Write quality posts on Hive as often as you can. Be authentic with good content. I know sometimes you may not feel like it.

b) Allow Hive to help you. Enter contests each week. The LMAC Community has a weekly collage contest that's fun and rewarding. I strongly suggest you take a look at it. This week's contest is currently underway, and ends on Monday. There is a weekly MEME contest. The bottom line is that, you may not win a contest; however, you will have written a post which will earn you some rewards. Also, vote and comment as often as you can on contest you like.

d) SATURDAY SAVERS CLUB. You mentioned you weren't able to save. Don't worry about that right now. You can't save what you don't have. If by chance you do have a small amount in rewards, then you can save that. Don't look at the weekly chart. Do what you can and have available.

NEVER BE ASHAMED. Anytime you think you're in bad shape, there are others in worse shape than you. We all make mistakes or get in over our head. Holding it inside eats away at you. Mental and physical manifestations can occur because you are hurting at being in that position and no one to help you as you helped them.

Take care. I hope this helps in some small way. Have a good rest of your weekend.