Unfortunately, I'm Filing For Bankruptcy
It's been three months since my mom died and same three months ago, my younger brother had a fatal accident that nearly claimed his life, fast-forwards to today, I've lost two grandparents, lost my emergency funds, and am currently sick with peptic ulcer. The highlight of this is that I've had to halt the business I'm trying to build because I have no money to run it, the emergency funds have gone into taking care of the crazy expenses and it's safe to say, I have no money in real-time anymore. The funny thing about this situation is that I might have to leave hive in January or February to take care of these family situations.
After five long years, it feels like foreclosure
The most concerning thing is that my health issues are getting really concerning, and these family issues are not according to me enough time to deal with it. It's been physically and financially demanding and at this juncture, it's difficult to convince these family conjecture that I'm sick and I'll need time to heal physically and financially without passing off the vibes that one is lazy and irresponsible. It's difficult to tell your story when there's a weight of financial and physical expectations. These people have shown up commitment and they've been there when I lost my both parents, but the deaths have been too much lately, it's not even according me time to psychologically heal before I began to highlight the financial decisions I need to make to raise money to be up and doing again.
But, it's like killing the golden goose over and over again
As for crypto, I think the bear market happened at the wrong time when things began to happen to me
....... I remember selling off a chunk of HBD to take care of these emergencies last November, but they sufficed again so I dipped my finger into the funds I could have used to start a real-time business immediately after the bear market hits, but it's not over. One of the reasons why I stopped working five years ago was because my body kept crashing under severe working conditions, but after five years I saved enough money to start a business that doesn't require me to physically burn any vital organs, but sadly, this money has gone because, in one year, I've lost three people, the fourth person which was my brother survived but was in the ICU for a long while, these things have majorly made me ignore my health situations.
Money, sweat and efforts are never enough
While it feels illogical, these situations require money to take care of and in over a year I've spent over $4000 trying to sort out these family commitments, I thought they finally ended after my brother's accident, but two people are now dead, it signals that it's far from over, my paternal grandmother is also fatally sick too, hosting burials costs a lot of money, I've hosted two already and it's wiped out my emergency funds, now a third burial is in the offing and a prospect of the fourth one is there, but away from these Commitments, I just need a break to sort out my health and finances, but anytime I try, someone dies and creates a huge setback.
It's illogical, so unpassable
Now I cannot even take the time to begin to recover, because now I'll have to be a way to plan burials, these commitments aren't passable, and the family structure is so porous that responsibilities heavily fall on the younger generations. The older generation didn't set up a workable system, I'd say because most of them were largely ignorant, unexposed, and uneducated, they couldn't build wealth or own businesses that they could pass on as legacies, so it left their younger generations with the crazy job of having to fix their shit. It's why I've had to be fixing shit for such a long time now, it makes it difficult to concentrate and run my life.
The Privilege of being "Privileged"
It's even more difficult because I've got this very fragile system that crashes under pressure, but it's some of the things a young man who was not born privileged has to go through. I wouldn't call it an African thing. Most of my peers have gone very far in life and since I'm not really making any comparisons, it's hard not to notice the unfairness you're fighting because you're in a family system that creates limitations all around you, it feels like fighting a losing game. It's like being born to take care of externalities while suffering undevelopment and growth when others are making headways in life.
It's a life of bankruptcy
I don't know if I'll be leaving hive temporarily in February, but it's gotten to that point where it becomes inevitable. I'm hoping to make some arrangements especially because I hoping to tell these people that I am crashing and I'll need time to recuperate and heal from this physical health and financial mess. My aim has always been to build a life of financial freedom that inevitably prepares one to be able to take on huge financial responsibilities without the fear of foreclosure because I understand that I have legions of responsibilities. But they're coming too early when I'm struggling to stay healthy and establish myself.
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You're going through hell. Stop. Breathe. Think. Try and be rational. Bankruptcy is a terrible idea. If they find you have all this Hive, they'll take it and if you try and cover it up and they find it, things get worse and you might end up on fraud charges.
You have been so successful here, out of all the negativity in your life, why give up the huge positive, Hive?
Get some or all of it cashed in and use it to get through the next few months. You earned it once, you'll earn it again. Leaving Hive is a bad idea. Its the consistency you have here as much as the posts that have made you successful. Success is not based on HP!
The other positive about staying on Hive is, as this posts shows, its a wonderful place to free pent up emotions. Use the tools available to you fella.
As for your own ulcer, if you've had a definite medical diagnosis, Google the drugs you need, its anti biotics and xxxx-prazole , and don't eat spicy food. Another problem simply and cheaply fixed.
Honestly, you have everything you need financially, physically and emotionally to get through this awful shit storm of tragedy. YOU are the survivor. FUCK quitting Hive and Bankruptcy. Take positive action and start now.
Best wishes fella.
I'm taking all the precautions but I do have other underlying issues that seem to be responsible, as for my finances, it's a long shot and I'll begin to seek ways to take care of them. That was a thoughtful message from you, thank you
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I m sorry I m just seeing this. But if you wouldnt mind. I can offer you some consultations.
I also think you have a lot of good going here, but you can separate from reality either. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
You have gone through so much, Jose. The physical and psychological stress must be immense, but you have continued to push through it. There is nothing that can be said or done to remove the grief of losing so many close ones, but I wish upon you the strength to carry on. I also hope that you are able to take the time to see a physician so that you can manage your health problems; after all, without health, we can have nothing.
As a completely new member, I will give you all I have at this time - a vote, and my most sincere wishes for your well-being. Please reach out to me intermittently and I will try to give you more when it is available; I will also follow you to ensure that I do not miss the opportunity to help.
No no no, do not worry about giving anything, I'm completely happy with your concern, like you've said it just leaves wounds that wouldn't heal. It's like going through the same process again and again, and anytime you make a headway boohoo, it happens again. Thank you for your concern
I've followed you just in case anyway. 😊
And for those tough times, I dug up a comment I wrote several years ago on a different platform. I do hope that it provides you with some comfort.
So sorry about what you are presently going through in keeping the family but first I want you to know that health is wealth.
It is only when you are healthy that you can actually face and fight to make a head way, so I will suggest you find a better way of communication to make them know and understand your health is important and needs urgent attention too. Or God forbid bad things, if anything happens to you today, who will shoulder all of these responsibilities.
I pray for divine healing for you and your brother and may God send you a helper to put a smile on your face and also light your path.
But if you ask me, I would say giving up on hive is not entirely the right option. It is okay to take a break to focus and refresh but please don't give up, you are actually doing well for yourself in here and as well helping some people grow with or without your knowledge. So think of how many people's growth your giving up will affect.
And as a matter of fact, this is just a phase which will surely pass, leaving behind a glorious and victorious testimony.
Please just keep your hope alive, you are not a failure and you will never be.
The Lord will continue to be your strength and you will always be in my prayers dear friend.
It's a phase that will pass like you've said, thank you for your well wishes. Take care of your health too..
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I will, please be good 😊
It has been the worse year for you, Jose. Losing your mom, your brother had a fatal accident and then, the death of your grandparents. The responsibilities on you are too much because planning a burial is too much, not to talk of more than one.
And then, your health is there that needs full attention and one funny thing about African families is that they wouldn´t want to listen if you have an urgent pressing need, especially your health matter, if you don´t do the needful, you are irresponsible in their eyes which is so bad.
Even if you have to sit them down and explain, you will still have to do what you have to do since you are the one they are looking up to.
This is a really sad post reading and I am praying in my mind for you that you will not get to the stage of going bankrupt in Jesus name. So sorry about that and I hope you return to Hive as soon as you get settled.
Sincerely. I will miss your posts because I always enjoy them. Nevertheless, it´s only temporal and you will be back. May God help you also. Take heart, JOSE.
I'll sincerely not leave, indefinitely, just take that break in February I guess. A lot has been happening, I just hope I can keep up. I appreciate your care and concern
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You are welcome. All will be okay by God's grace.
WTF?!?!!?. Bro, I head no idea. I've been so busy with real life shit these past months that I haven't consumed much content as I should and didn't even realise if you'd posted about any of this stuff.
I'm so sorry to hear all the stuff that's happened/happening to you! I totally understand what it means to have to spend a large amount, if not all, of your money to help family. I had a similar issue this year where I had to liquidate a lot to help out with family health issues. I myself had a health episode earlier in the year which I've now mostly recovered from, thankfully.
I wish you the best bro. Keep moving forward. 🙏
Yeah, I know you've been busy with a lot of real life things. Adulting is never easy and sincerely I understand, I guess a lot has been happening and sometimes it's easy for others not to know. Yeah I read about your issues too, it's crazy to lose it all especially for health issues.
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Oh my, that doesn’t sound good. I hope you will be able to sort out these problems.
At the very least make sure you leave an account on auto pilot with curation, so that when things have been sorted out you can come back to an account that has been automatically compounding.
Thank you, I'm hoping I could find a way to see if could avoid not going off, because it's not just for my presence here, it's about my health issues and how to keep it intact in these turbulent times. Thanks for the advice
You’re welcome and I hope you find your way out of this
Thank you, I'm hoping I could find a way to see if could avoid not going off, because it's not just for my presence here, it's about my health issues and how to keep it intact in these turbulent times. Thanks for the advice
Sorry about the situation man. Lots of responsibilities just piling up on you like that.
Why are you planning the burials and hosting them alone?
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I'm not planning them alone, it could have been my parents doing all that, but since my brother is out, it leaves just me in the family, who would have to always be responsible for being present and taking charge of a lot. It's like filing a void I shouldn't, because people who should are unfortunately no more..
It's just been overwhelming, I didn't even know when I went out full outburst on this post.
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Too bad you are facing all this family challenges and responsibility alone and about your health please take care of it because that’s what matters most and I pray you receive divine healing from God so that you can get better.
Yes, well, it's been happening all year long. Thank you for your well wishes..
Oh my goodness @josediccus take heart, am heart broken hearing this, stay strong.
I hope you are getting much better and how is your younger brother, is he on hive too ?
Thanks for your concern, well, it's how it is.
That's even the least of my problem, but no he's not and he's fairing okay
Evening Jose;
I am so sorry to have read about the terrible year you've had with your family context. It sounds like a horrific time period to have gone through and I have complete empathy for your situation. There's not a lot beyond that I can say, as it would only sound trite, but I do hope things look up for you.
It's been gory. A bull market could have come in handy, but it's just so twisted and completely indescribable at the moment. Thank you for your concern
So sorry to hear, brother! Sorry for your family losses and sorry for the financial strain. Sending some !LUV
!PGM
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Thank you, I totally appreciate
Sucks to read you've been left with the weight of responsibility for your whole family.
It sounds like you're at your own breaking point health wise and if you are, you need to stop, step back and worry about yourself.
Your extended family will understand eventually and if they don't, then what is the point?
You've got this mate, stay strong!
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Yeah, I guess they'll understand. The system here is quite complex and sometimes we subconsciously live for others. Will do, thank you for this.
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My condolences for your losses. Sometimes things happen that we have no control of putting us on a different path that we're not ready for. I pray that God gives you the strength (health and financial) to live up to these new responsibilities.
It happens, guess couldn't help but lash out the way I did.
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Yes, I think one has to let it out rather than keeping it bottled up inside. I unrepentant-ly lash out every time I'm face with new responsibilities I can't handle, it helps clear the noise inside :)
I am very sorry to hear this. It is indeed a series of unfortunate events. I can only hope that you will be successful in the near future.
Btw, I am curious, what is the nature of you business?
I haven't started up the business, the fund is gone
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I'm so sorry about this Josse and I hope you will come out stronger with this issue, remember it's not over yet and there will always be light at the end of the tunnel.
I want you to treat your health very well, you can go on a little break so that you can treat yourself very well and come back stronger.
Life is not always a bed of roses, challenges arise sometimes, but once we stay strong and overcome them, life continues.
God will console your heart and send a helper to you, I believe you will come back stronger @Josedicuss
Yeah, God willing, it's not too late I guess
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It will never be late boss
Hey man, I’m sorry all this is happening and worst that it is happening in the bear market when your finances are down. I lost my mother at a very young age and was practically raised by my older siblings so I understand the responsibilities you shoulder. It’s not an easy one and I respect your ability to man them as you have been for the past few years. It’s hard to have so much responsibility on you, and it gets overwhelming at a point.
I hope you’re able to sort out all this stuff and get back on your feet again. As many people in these comments have already said, leaving HIVE definitely isn’t an option. Aside your bit of consistent earnings, a lot of people (including me) will miss having you here and reading from you.
I really hope your health improves you’re able to sort things out and stay with us as you do it. You’ve got a family here and we’re with you in prayers and support in whatever little way we can.
No, I won't leave permanently, just probably few weeks to sort out a lot of things. It's crazy it's all happening in the bear market though. But I appreciate you for the care and concern
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I m sorry to hear that you are going thru very rough time … what I can say is pray and hold on… there is always hope and way out from any struggle … some situations are not in our hand… it is universal and Our creator build or designed us to take any situations in our life..
I pray, u get more strength to hold on.. this time also pass …
Well, I know this, and I'm not relenting in my closeness to God. Thank you.
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Hope it all works out in the end for you. I’ve enjoyed your posts reading about life in countries other than my own.
!PIZZA
Thank you, I hope so too
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Reading this really struck me. I can't remotely imagine how much financial, or physical or even mental stress you're on at the moment.
True the older generations left us hanging, I mean, I know how it is here, but I admire how you've always risen up to the challenge and taken all the challenges head on.
A lot of things are very important, but what's more important is your health. You will need it to fight the endless battle of life and you will vanquish, so please take care of yourself.
My thoughts and definitely my prayers are with you and your entire family.
My condolences for your losses too❣️
Thanks a million. I guess a lot of us could have done better if we have a solid background to build on, it's definitely an issue for concern. Thanks for your well wishes, I'm totally grateful
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When I saw the title of this post, I thought it was not going to be what it sounds like, but reading story makes me feel sad. I can relate a bit as the only son of 7 children born to my parents - except that my parents are still alive. But am still the financial burden bearer. But then, your looks worse with no parents and a sick brother.
My advice is - Trust in God. Because you need divine help to be able to bear everything. I read the bible sometimes and this scripture comes to mind when I feel weak and small and loaded down:
From Isaiah 40:29-31
If you trust in God, he will give you the strength to soar on wings like eagles.
I really do not want you to quit Hive because I believe you can have the mental strength to overcome all challenges. Instead of quitting completely, maybe you can reduce the workload here to something manageable based on your prevailing circumstances. Then when things balance a little, you pick up.
Am really sorry bro. Life in this world can be hard.
I like to think my faith it nearness to God has taken a good step in two years, so I totally understand.
I'm the one at the helm of affair in my family and sometimes the irresponsibilities of others and everything gets to me so badly. But I'll work towards getting better. Thank you.
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I am sorry to hear all of this and it's sad to hear all the bad news you are getting. Feel free to take a break and I will look forward to when you come back. Real life is more important. Get everything sorted out.
!CTP
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It is a tough one on you Jose and my condolences. I know this is the way we do things in Africa the burden of the family can be very demanding and wear us down. At some point, though you will have to reduce the amount of assistance, you render so as not to impact your well-being and growth. The truth we shouldn't ignore is we can't grow due to the financial burden from the family we are all going to be poor and we can't help each other.
This might sound easier said but I know your kind of situation awaits me when I move home next near and it worries me how to deal with it without causing enmity.
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I believe you really need to be closer to God than ever before. Stay close to him more and let your prayer altar have fire. Devil has detected a space or a loop hole in your family which is causing this
Please be okay, God will help you get better, I trust he would.
Thank you, I honestly do appreciate
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You're welcome, always 🤗
Bankruptcy is not an option Sir, Ive read through what you have gone and for you to have the courage to stand through I appreciate you.
First I will like you to be grateful for the life and the opportunity to be able to cater for your concerns but it's not really easy and I want to condole you to be strong through this hard times. I pray God sees you through. Take heart dear.
This is a tough time for you, man. There's not a lot that's in your favor.
You know what's best, and that's what you're going for. I'll only add that you should take care of yourself first. Many obviously rely on you, and they'll need you at 100% for optimal support.
My condolences for your losses. And it's good news that your brother is healthy now.
It'll get easier. Take time to breathe and stay resilient, man.
I am sorry. Hard to hear about people going through this. I've had my fair share of loss but it's always worse when your in the eye of the storm. Keep your head up.
Hello Joe, I totally understand all that is going on with you and it's my prayer that you come out better, healthier and stronger 👌
It's well okay?, everything will be fine with time. If your decision of taking some time off hive will solve part of the issues, then it's fine..
I am sending much love ❤️ and hugs 🤗 to you.
Stay safe and blessed 😇👍🧡
Thank you for all the love and care, I have no doubt I'll get back better.
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💛
Take heart brotherly, the lord is your strength just trust in him, when we face financial problem of the family all alone sometimes it becomes very difficult to bounce back.
I am almost the same shoe with you, my younger brother was involved in an accident 3yrs ago and he spent 2yrs in the hospital 1yr in the ICU and till date we are still struggling to bring him back to his normal state and all this has been just me, my father is aged and sick, my mother also needs medical attention and all this are just meant to be solved by only me no other person, while I still have a very disturbing sickness am battling with that needs attention too.
Sometimes I cry because it seems that am doomed when I look at my age mates but one thing keeps me going, I always look into God's word the bible, I always pray to him for guidance and I strongly believe in his promises that there will be a time when there will be no suffering .
PRAY CONSTANTLY JEHOVAH WILL GIVE YOU POWER BEYOND WHAT IS NORMAL
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Ulcer is a very bad sickness that can disorganize life but there are some supplement that have been found effective in managing it, I hope you find some and at least get a relief on that. So sorry brother.
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I’m sorry you had to go through all this for soo long. With hardship comes ease so be strong. With time you’ll be fine.
You really need to take time off and focus on your health because it really matters.
I hope everything gets better for you.
Sending love to you and your family.🫶🏻
Hi Jose,
First off your story is quite remarkable and it shows just how responsible you are, and how much you care about your family.
Yet while I am trying to appreciate the uniqueness of your current situation, I'll leave you with a few words of wisdom from my personal experiences over the years.
It isn't selfishness to do so. Slow down, be straight about the things you won't be able to accommodate and make it clear to them. You first need to be well enough to contribute
Sometimes, it feels selfish, plus the family structure is just so entwined, one subconsciously puts others before them. But I appreciate. You're right, nothing but right.
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holy shit bro,
i'm not going to try to say i understand or know how you feel... i can't even imagine. the last year of my life has been extremely difficult as well so you're not alone.
what i can say is - as much as it sucks and feels bad... filing for bankruptcy was one of the best decisions i have ever made. i had a chance to take control and start over.
good luck buddy, my condolences
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Hello, @josediccus
Everything that it expresses is very sad, the loss of close families is painful and strong, where it seems that everything is collapsing because of that great love that you feel.
The financial part always comes and goes, we must be thankful that at least you had the money, I know you had it planned for your business, but you will see that that money will double, you will have a business that will obtain many fruits, from the little I have read about you You are a good person with a good heart, I know your future will be full of success, do not despair, take a deep breath. I know it is hard to continue, but little by little we will be able to move forward.
Do not leave Hive is a way to contact another person, who can help you, in turn in a way to vent all that pain that you have inside.
Celimar says goodbye to you, from Venezuela Hugs and kisses.
I am very sorry to hear this, you have been through a lot and more.
Pls stop for a moment and breathe
Yes breathe, this is draining emotionally, physically, psychologically, mentally and every lly there is....
You can take a break but do not stop pushing, it'll be all right.
Do take rest yourself to take care of your health, I am very sure the business plan will come through
These are your scars to your beautiful, do not give up
This is just a phase, it will pass
Just like the dark before the dawn
Praying for you @josediccus
Sorry for your recents losts, seems to be quite a rough patch that you are going through. Hopefully you will not give up on your dream to build your business, it seems that life always finds a way to put obstacles in front of our path at the worse timing and it seems to be a scenario that happens to many. They seems like moutains and often are, only by keeping moving foward will can go pass them. I lived something very similar to your situation lately, so I really feel you. Take are ofyourself, it is as iportant as taking care of others.
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