The Business Of Paying To Feel Better.
In the past 10 days I have watched people like doctors, therapists, nurses, health analysts, and the like talk, and seeing them speak makes me wonder if they go through grief in life.
I have one theory: It's easier to profer solutions to others from a professional point of view and provided they'll pay for it. On the surface, the problem of people seems and looks the same, hence it's always easier to profess solutions because someone, somewhere must have passed through what the last client must've passed through.
However, it's always easy to underestimate the pain of people, especially when we've seen others who have gone through the same. We expect others to be strong because we know someone out there with the same experience and they were strong and overcame it.
Nevertheless, there are different conditioning to similar experiences, and sometimes when we look carefully we might just see diversity in sameness. A lot of my relatives have been very dismissive about the loss of my brother, ranting and waxing lyrical about moving on.
It's understandable.
It's not the loss of their son or immediate brother, but they do not understand this phenomenon is where I have a problem.
I'm probably weaker than some stronger people they know, and every time this comparison will always happen.
This is us
we're very comparative in nature. However, people don't understand how weak they are until they lose that which they dearly or intimately love forever. In life, I believe loss is inevitable, but if it's understandable, natural, and comes at almost the right time, then it's welcomed and excusable, however, the laws of the universe do not adhere to human sentiment.
I was on Quora some days ago, to read the stories of people who have had the kind of losses I've had, and I read the stories of people who completely lost everyone and they're the only survivor.
Apparently, I wasn't the only one who wanted to seek for ways to feel better. We're much more aligned when our experiences are almost the same, and I didn't feel better from reading those stories, rather they regurgitated memories that brought more tears to my eyes, but I did experience some moments of peace
and closure.
If I could pay to probably have such sessions with the specialists I mentioned above, then I would, but then, dwelling on that or wanting to pay to feel better, what is the end game? Won't that be going the extra mile? I know.
It's just that I feel I need a break and I just won't catch a break. In 14 months a lot has happened than it did in the last 8 years. Not having time to heal before another tragic thing happens takes its toll and maybe, just maybe this is why a lot has changed with me. To be very honest, I miss having the regular and mundane problems that come with life.
I've had money-making opportunities come to me the previous week, but I was too stuck in my grief to even find the energy to consider anything else. This is just to say I haven't been working.
Most of the time, that fleshly energy driven by the urge to take care of mortal responsibilities has taken a huge dent in my life.
Everything feels like futility now, while it's a dangerous feeling or path, it's just not going away. I checked my expenditure recently and it completely outweighs my income. It only proves that at this rate I'll go extremely broke in days or weeks. Maybe this is why I'm chasing this need to find healing, sameness, or closure.
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It's truly heartbreaking to read about your feelings of futility amidst grief and loss. It’s important, though, to recognize that these feelings are a common reaction to loss and not a permanent state of being.
Well, it'll be truly soothing to know it's a temporary state, because the way it is, it seems like it'll linger for a long time. I'm brooding over a lot of uncertainty, but it feels refreshing to have a platform to talk about it always. Thank you for your kind words.
I'm truly sorry to hear about the pain and grief you've been experiencing, and it's clear that you're going through an incredibly difficult time. Grief is a deeply personal and unique journey for each individual, and it's important to acknowledge and process your feelings in your own time and way.
Comparing one's grief to others or feeling pressure to move on quickly can indeed add to the emotional burden. Seeking support and professional guidance from therapists or grief counselors can be valuable if you feel it might help you navigate through these challenging emotions.
Thanks a million. Truly we cannot compare grief, as it can be a very personal experience. It's also a journey for me and firstly I'm seeking God's help to navigate through this journey.
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Many people can be really one-sided when it comes to these kinds of emotions and we tend to equate with similar experiences in the past even though the subject is always completely different. Going beyond the surface can be hard as it requires a good level of honesty and talent. But I do hope you find one soon that will help in processing everything that happened these past few weeks and attain more closure about it all.
It's how we are, when we haven't experienced things, we tend to feel that other people are weak and incapable of handling things. It's how grief is. When it's personal, this is when we understand how hurting it can be.
We all grieve differently even in similar situations, which is why it is wrong to compare one's grief to another.
I keep praying for you, hoping you find the strength to get through these moments. All will be well.
Yes, we grieve different, but then people underplay one's grief when they think they're familar with it. Thank you, I appreciate
I am sorry for your losses and I have heard about a few friends who did something similar when they had to face some losses. I hope you feel better soon and I do think that listening/reading about how others overcome it will help you.
Thank you, it's difficult, more than anything I've had to face. It's not a kind of loss I ever anticipated.
So sorry about your grief, be strong and the Lord will be your strength.
Thank you
You're welcome
This is a powerful expression which great conation with how we really react with other or external influence. But in this process, you will bounce back greatly. Be consoled bro
Thank you, I appreciate
Just like that there are many things happening in front of our eyes and they are very painful and we try to change all these things but we can't do anything.
Thank you
Most welcome.
I'm really sorry about how you feel but I'm glad you still come here to pour out your mind and engage with people
I'm sure it will help you to get better
Thanks for the well wishes, I appreciate you for everything
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At times i do ask myself why do i have to keep working; am I in pursuit of a better life? But what is a better life? Having Cars, condos, cash? Does having these things truly mean anything. I dont have it quite figured out yet. Many times i dont bother with the “why” anymore and just do. A loss of a loved one will never be easy and you have to give yourself time. Sadly we all have to keep working in order to live. I wish you all the best.