In life, we make acquaintances every day that could become potentially valuable. However, most times, 90% of these acquaintances die a futile death, while 10% become usable. The reason is that most people hide their intentions with initial goodwill, and if you're wise enough, you'll be able to detect this. In reality, there's nothing wrong with having Short term people in your life. The plumber, the groceries lady, the next-door neighbor, your landlord or people you meet at random events are short-termed people, this is because you create a relationship with them because it's visibly beneficial for the two parties. For you to pay the groceries lady, you need to agree to do business.
Here's something you should ponder on:
Sometimes most relationships that should be a one-time thing escalate into something deeper, however, it depends on the compatibility of two or more people to make this work. If there's an insane understanding between two people who go into business, there's no doubt they'd want to replicate it. This is because building permanent business relationships in place of short-term business relationships, would create a mutuality that's generally rewarding, howbeit, this is dependent on understanding and intention.
One of the reasons why people don't work is because they have contrasting intentions.
A person who is willing to go overseas cannot build a business with a person who is willing to build and establish in their native country and it has nothing with MR A or B being a bad person.
Intentions do not make people bad, rather it changes your longevity plans with them.
Some women want rich men for marriage, some want men that they could build a life. The present condition of a person determines which of these two women they're automatically matched with. It doesn't mean any of them are bad, intentions of people change the narrative, but one habitual pattern of a human being is that good people can mask bad intentions with a good approach, and this is because sometimes one's bad intentions might not be a 100% representation of who they truly are. But in life, almost everyone is guilty of this, "once beaten, twice shy syndrome" and this is because no one has the time to check if people are good or not, it the first impression is bad, then it's a goodbye to anything that could potentially be accomplished in such relationships.
Compatibility of intentions should be the most important goal in life especially when it comes to building a business
Sometimes, good people made profitable deals with bad people because the endgame is profit.
While this is good, sometimes we need things in life that exceed their ephemeral advantages, to truly succeed. Now, we might like or want people, but they might not be the best for us. Sometimes we're conflicted with the things we truly need because they do not initially thrill us. I believe that utility creates or establishes solidity. The people with the most utility in our lives are the people who we are most drawn to rather than people whose use-case are mostly expendable. But this can be totally selfish.
In life, we need to let people feel our importance as much as we want to feel their importance, since this wouldn't make you rich, it might in the long run. A lot of people become business partners with people who they think they know. At the end of the day, they end up getting fucked.
Why?
When we completely fail to read them and understand the intentions of people over time, then we've hit a snag and completely failed in a particular aspect of life. There was someone who made it their business to make and establish me, but I messed it up because I was young and inexperienced. I've tried to atone for this for a long time, but they feel I'll never change, but I did, they just didn't give me a chance to prove this.
This doesn't mean I won't keep trying because losing people is something no one should aim to do in life. Let's be factual, there's nothing as people with the purest of intentions. Sometimes I randomly talk to people to test my longevity instincts on them, while this is selfish (and I aim to stop) it broadens my knowledge of the anatomy of the human mind; our wants needs, cravings, or even desires.
I'm a person with a clear intention. My passion for longevity is crazy.
Sometimes it goes overboard, but I try to keep it in check. One thing I realize is, that we often conflict good people with intentional people. Good people are the ones with a spontaneously good heart. But intentional people might not be. While you need the former, generally you also need the latter to be specific, but the best is having the two packages all in one person which can be completely difficult because life's priorities can make good people unintentional.
All in all
......it's great to play the longevity game because sometimes we completely underestimate how much we can achieve by playing this game. At the end of the day, it's important to do "you". This means being unencumbered with potential mistakes, mildly fearing the consequences of these mistakes as expected but don't be petrified of them, relishing the lessons, and hoping life give you another chance.
Interested in some more of my works?
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Compatibility is indeed an important factor in developing relationship, but let's not forget understanding. Understanding help people to live even with the most difficult of persons.
Thank you for this. Most often I see people judge others based on their intentions, most especially when a woman decide to marry for any other reason apart from love, I have always believed that so far a person is aware of and willing to bear the consequences of their actions, we have no right to judge.
This is why they say first impression matters the most. Many people have lost so much opportunity because of this. Thank you @josediccus for this
Well, I think people as this are deserved of what they want, I think sometimes, we need to help people learn about life in their own way. When people don't Marry for love, I think it generally doesn't make them bad people, intentions are a whole new angle to who and what we are.
Although, good people have been ruined by the concept of first impression, life's full of many people who do not want to let people happen to them the second time and this is why we cannot blame people who do not give chances to second and third impression.
Thanks for coming through. This was insightful.
No we can't, their first impression might have been an horrible experience.
There is this someone I cannot forget that is very good in masking his selfish intentions with initially good one.
He is drunk both in pursuing power and money that if he sees that he can use you, he will do anything he can offer to get you on his side. Unlike common manipulators, his intentions are difficult to discern until the time you fall for it. The main reason I cannot just leave him is that he is betting on my conscience by using innocent people as hostage.
!1UP
I do not know about this person but his personality feels totally despicable, and one thing is that it's important to learn from that one time experience with people as such and try to stay far away from them as much as possible, I know it might be difficult, especially when circumstances does not permit, nevertheless, we just have to do our best to some extent.
Yup. I haven't seen this guys for years now. Though, I am sure one day, our paths will cross again.
To be fair, I've learned some useful things from him. If not only for his attitude of sacrificing his underlings unnecessarily.
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I don't even know where to start. I've had issue with this longevity thingy and I have been reading it wrong.
Funny I was just ruminating on it this morning!
It's exactly as you explained, we don't let people get close, for me, even if they don't have "bad" impressions, I usually expect great "vibes". I realized I might've had cool relationships with some people if I didn't think that way. Thinking that way unconsciously made me push them away and it becomes the usual hi hi, hello vibes. So bad some of the "great vibes" don't even work out eventually.
And my attempts at being intentional (mostly with old friends) eventually makes me overwhelmed sometimes. Finding a balance is difficult 😂 (for me)
I must tell you that we cannot completely attain 100% balance or rightness when it comes to the relationship we have with people. Sometimes they falter, sometimes it's us that falters. But at the end of the day, we cannot achieve perfection. This is why we should hope for the ability to discern intentions even if it's generally hidden. Intentions often define people. Hope to have people who will be intentional about you.
I guess we're all human afterall, perfection is not possible, we can only do our best.
Prayer request (God abeg) 😂🤲🏾. I have a couple of intentional friends and I can attest that it's beautiful 🤭
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The end justifies the means is one statement I don't go by. Longevity on the other hand is the best approach to life as one intrinsically looks for the best. Fake things don't last. I try as much as possible to build relations based on true affections and not out of solely selfish intentions. In as much as selfishness is in our genetic make-up, one has to make an effort to be selfless. At least that's what I try to do. Thanks for sharing on this. Leant a lot from your post.
You've said it all, that's nothing wrong with going against how we're genetically engineered to function. We have to learn to build solidity though because when we do, it's impossible to be shaken when life's true tests comes up. This is an insightful comment nontheless.
I had been taught to not look at the intentions of people but the results/effect of their actions.
Actions speak louder than words. Someone might say they wanted you to be successful in your business relationship with them but goes behind your back to sell off your idea to a higher bidder. What happens is that you lose out, while they gain.
So instead of looking for good and bad intentions, I look at what was the result of their sugar-coated speeches, did it bring both of us to profit or not? Did whatever intentions they had bring ruin and confusion?
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The truth is that intentions are not even spoken most times especially when they're bad. You mostly see motive in the actions of people, it's even more difficult when people's actions are good on the surface but their intentions are malignant and underlying within them. This is why it's important to hope for rhe skills to decipher people's truest intention.
Deception is becoming better on a daily basis. People have learnt to be good with their actions just to buy your trust. I've lived long enough to know this.
Thanks for coming through.
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Yeah, I understand. Deception has become the order of the day, and it will take a lot of practice to be able to decipher people's real intentions through their actions. 🤦🏿♀️
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I just think that it is wise to have the spirit of Discernment. Whether spiritual or not as individuals, we should be able to discern when someone is trying to just use us for whatever reason.
Good morning Ma, you're right about this, it's basically what I replied Iska, discernment is the ultimate because it helps you understand what is what.
Boss abeg o😂
Reading this from the perspective of the types of relationships I build with people here on Hive is super interesting to consider.
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Thanks a lot, I think, it's even more interesting when we're cognisant of it, adapt, change and become even better with time.
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This is so deep, well you are right, our choice of partner depends on the category we all fall in then one can know which fits for them
Exactly, there are categories we automatically fall in and sometimes we don't have the choice but to just slot in.
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You are right tho, but in the process, one must be very careful about making that choice
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